Defend my character?

[nebulachic]

I overheard my b/f talking to a friend of his about his cheating last year with an ex-g/f (I found out about it 6 months ago and we have been dealing with it). It was an email/phone calls affair for months. It was the first time he had told them about it. He didn't know I was listening.

1) He said the whole thing only lasted about a month and a half and it was only emails/phone calls(it really lasted 4 months and he visited her once ~ Thanksgiving Day after he had visited with the friend he was talking to)

2) He said she has since become a full Buddhist monk for life and therefore has not been a threat to me anymore. (She has not. She is only a Buddhist nun and it's only temporary while she does research at a temple)

3) He said upon my discovering their emails he GAVE them all to me (Actually he really didn't want me to have them. I emailed them to myself when he wasn't around)

4) He said he sent her an email ending all contact (He didn't. He said in it he wanted to remain in contact with her as just a friend. I said I was OK with it until #5 happened)

5) He OMITTED the real reason we are currently taking a break. He made it sound like we are taking a break because I just can't get past the infidelity (The truth is in his recent contact with her he implied he was debating seeing her when she visits with his sister in a few weeks)

He tried to make it look like I just have low self-esteem and a lot of insecurities. He also made it sound like I am immature and handling it immaturely.

I really want to contact the friend and set the record straight because he is making me look like it's all me. Think I should?

[Penguin_Woman]

I don't know...you know the truth of it. If you go running to that friend trying to defend yourself...it won't make you look good IMHO.

[aussiecoffee007]

i wouldnt worry about that, i think whats done is done and i doubt you can fully clear your name anyhow

[Penguin_Woman]

Sorry for the short reply earlier. To expand on that, this guy is your bf's friend. He's bound to beleive him over you and they'll paint you as you were eavesdropping on their conversation.

[doomed2Balone]

Why would you worry about defending yourself over him. Make your "break" permanent, and move on.

[**Sapphire**]

I wouldn't worry too much about letting your boyfriend's friend know the truth. He will probably believe your boyfriend, also, if you tell him HOW you found out, that could solidify what he may be thinking in regards to you from what your boyfriend told him.

Are you still w/your boyfriend? I think the best thing to work on now hun is to let this guy go. He doesn't seem to be too good of a guy if he is going to talk about you to his friend (s) & lie to them. Who knows what else he could be lying about to you & them.