Bit of a kerfuffle

[otta]

Hello just looking for some more friendly advice
After asking about a friend i cared for after a difficult few months he told me he cared alot for me also, it just tok a certain situation for him to realise this.

My problem is this though, he lives the opposite end of england to me, it takes me 9 hrs to travel down nd we usually see each other once a month, recently hes been a bit quiet, ive txted him as usual but he always gave very bsic answers to them, or even didnt reply at all. There is a reason for this though and that is he suffers depression and sometimes tends towards being a bit of a recluse for a while. It just makes it hard to know how he is cos of the distance. If i get worried i cant just pop over to check hes ok (I am a bit of a worrier as u can see :P)
Not sure if im just creating a problem in my head. But I dont know how to suggest he see a doctor about it. Ive mentioned it before but hes always brushed it off.
Thanks for reading this

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome back, we have missed you!

When he gets in these little "funks", just send him a text or leave a voice mail or something to let him know that you are thinking of him & if he ever needs to talk he knows where he can find you.

If he's brushed off seeing a doctor about his depression, he may not be receptive to it. You can try talking to him again the next time you see him face to face, see if anything is different between now & then.

Also, let him know you worry about him, that you care & when he doesn't respond you do worry about if he's OK etc.. That way maybe he will be a bit more on the ball when you text him, he will send you something back quicker.

[Pink]

Long distance can really make a person crazy! I understand why you worry about him and probably would too if I were in your shoes. I have to agree with Sapphire, though. Let him know you're there for him no matter what. Hopefully he'll take that into consideration and be more aware of your feelings.

[otta]

Thanks for the advice Sapphire and pink .
Just texted him now so hopefully he'll understand now , or at least is aware that i worry and care about him. Think all I can do now is give him a little space til he has pulled himself out of his down time.
Tis rather frustrating though not being able to actually be there for him.
Thanks again.

[**Sapphire**]

Yeah it is frustrating when you care about someone & you want to be there for them.

I think your doing the right thing though, he will know that when he's ready he can come to you. I bet he will be grateful too.

Keep us posted on what's going on.

[otta]

Hiya thanks for the help again , hes fine now, he told me what part of his problem is, he says he's always been a free spirit not having to answer to anyone and since this is his first proper relationship hes having trouble adjusting if that makes sense
Think Ive put my foot in it slightly last night though, we were trying to arrange for me to go to his today (has to have his parents permission or at least their good side) but he wasnt able to talk them around last night so he was going to talk to them today. I kinda suffer with insecurities and i got it into my head that he didnt want to see me after telling me about his problem. Im not sure after that how we stand. Its hard sometimes getting in touch with himcos he has no credit on his phone and never answers if someone rings.
Should i just give him a lil space and let him get in touch when he is ready to and not call or txt him too much?
Sorry for the rambling its just I like him but same as him this is my first relationship and tis kinda new to me

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome back & thanks for the update.

Yeah I would hold back for a bit & not contact him. Give him time to get his parent's OK & then I bet he will call you to let you know what's going on.

You both are new to relationships so there's going to be some bumps in the road until you both work it out to where you know each other much better. Until then try to take it easy, I know the insecurities are hard sometimes & they do get the best of you, but try not to think of the worst case scenarios. Know that he likes/cares for you & he will talk to you when he can.

[otta]

Originally Posted by **Sapphire**

Welcome back & thanks for the update.

Yeah I would hold back for a bit & not contact him. Give him time to get his parent's OK & then I bet he will call you to let you know what's going on.

You both are new to relationships so there's going to be some bumps in the road until you both work it out to where you know each other much better. Until then try to take it easy, I know the insecurities are hard sometimes & they do get the best of you, but try not to think of the worst case scenarios. Know that he likes/cares for you & he will talk to you when he can.

Hiya thanks for the advice , helps to have people to talk to and get a fresh perspective of things . I know eventually the insecurity will ruin things so ill just have to ignore any niggling doubts I have
Thanks for the advice sapphire, once again. Tis a good site this