Starting Fresh With My Ex Girlfriend

[Blankz]

Hi All

I (29) recently met up with my Ex Girlfriend (31). She broke up with me 3 months ago. We went out to a restaurant which we used to haunt regularly and had an absolutely fabulous time. When then proceeded to head out to a late night cocktail bar for more chin-wagging. The chemistry between us was intoxicating; the companionship between us was unique. Somehow we ended up back at her place & the next thing we were sprawled across the bed doing our thing! After some amazing love making we chatted & passed out as couples (or is that ex couples?) do. The next morning we woke in each others arms & proceeded to act out the very ritual we had done hours before. This time it’s was somehow even more wonderful than before. By us performing our lovemaking again I felt a great sense of relief because it confirmed that our actions were not something that was fuelled by alcohol, but by 2 people with genuine feelings for each other.

After chatting & re-assuring each other that it was “All Good” I left her place with a most ridiculous grin on my face; I learnt later that day that she was too suffering from a similar fate.

The previous evening while dining I asked my ex if she willing to have another relationship with me. Her answer was a resounding No - not with me or anyone else. I asked her why and she said she’s sorting a couple things out for herself and that she is in no rush to get back into anything. I still love my girlfriend & I sense she still loves me & I would be so grateful if I got another chance. But I sense I need to be very patient, give her the space she needs & not rush anything (not a very easy thing to do considering we just slept together). Which leads me onto my question?

What sort of timetable should I keep, I mean I want to see her but not appear over bearing & respecting the space she needs. Do I send her a text once a week, then a phone call every second week, with the hope of maybe meeting up every 3rd week? Do I wait for her to contact me – how do I play it?

I want to be a friend to her and the person she fell in love (+ so much more) with…but I don’t want to spook her at the same time?

Any help is greatly appreciated.

Kind Regards

Blankz

[Penguin_Woman]

Welcome to ATLF, Blankz. We're glad you could join us. I would reccomend that if you want to be there for her and be her friend while she sorts things out, that's fine. I'm sure she'd much appreciate it. But, I think you guys should not make love again until she decides. It will only be confusing to you and hurt you more each time she gives you her body but not her heart. Tell her that too, if she tries to initiate things. It may be difficult, but it's for the best.

Good luck. Keep us updated

[aussiecoffee007]

same, i would try to physically stay away from anything, because you want her to make the decision based on teh relationship and not just the sex or anything... i think you should perhaps wait for her to call you, or resolve to calling once every three days or four or (i dont know how much it normally was) but if it lasts more than a month, i think you deserve to know, she cant keep you waiting forever...

[Mixed]

I agree with what they both said. By making love, you get more and more attached to her. But she isn't willing to give herself to you. On the long run, it'll hurt you more. She shouldn't have one foot in the boat and one foot on land. She should make her mind.

You should be there for her. As a FRIEND. Until she herself says that she's ready for a relationship.

It is hard. Considering you love her, but if you do, and she does, things will work out for the best.

Wait and see