Need some help.........

[magnusmartel]

I was wondering if you have feelings for a girl if its possible to be friends. Usually if I am interested in a girl and she gives me the "I see you as a friend" bit then I totally get mad and cut all ties. I wanted to do something different this time and just say cool we can be friends. But it is really hard for me to send an email to someone who rejected me and be nice to them. Makes me feel worse. Everytime I talk to them or get an email from them all I can think about is the rejection. Do you think I have serious anger problems? What should I do about this girl. We were friends and we both said it would stay like that until we know each other better. Well she told me a few days ago that she can only see me as a friend. I like talking to her and such, but I just don't know if I can have a friendship with her, without thinking of a possibilty of a relationship. Any ladies out there tell a guy you only like them as a friend but then get with them later on?

[aussiecoffee007]

i would say its pretty impossible if she has made it clear that she doesnt want to be with you/be in a relationship with you. i think its hard to stay friends with someone that you want more with that doesnt want you back! i dont think you have anger issues, i think you are just hurt that she rejected you and then that turns into the anger that you experience. i dont know if a friendship is worth your pain and confusion, and if you want to move on, being friends probably isnt the best option for you. you will never be able to really move on from her...

[**Sapphire**]

I think that if a girl makes it plain that she isn't interested in you in a romantic way that she pretty much means what she has told you. There are lot of different things that could lead her to letting you know this. She may not be ready for a committed relationship at the moment. She might have someone else in her life or maybe someone else that she may like. Or she just might see you as more of a friend than a romantic partner.

It's all in how you feel if you think you could stay friends with her or become closer to her as a friend only. If you feel too strongly for her, then it just may hurt you to continue on as a friend knowing it can't be more. I would do some thinking & decide on what your comfort level would be if you kept her as a friend or if you didn't.

[wertz]

im on the same boat as you are. last tuesday, i really had enough. so i asked for space. but what she did was end everything. i only wanted her to understand me and accept me. but for her its only friendship she can give. even if she is allowing me to do act as if we had that romantic relationship. but i guess this is enough. she doesnt wants me to leave her, but we are in a situation now that we have to separate. she is keeping distance now because she knows it will hurt if shes with me.

i dont know how this helps though. im just sharing mine
Sorry we have to go tru all these.

[**Sapphire**]

Originally Posted by wertz

im on the same boat as you are. last tuesday, i really had enough. so i asked for space. but what she did was end everything. i only wanted her to understand me and accept me. but for her its only friendship she can give. even if she is allowing me to do act as if we had that romantic relationship. but i guess this is enough. she doesnt wants me to leave her, but we are in a situation now that we have to separate. she is keeping distance now because she knows it will hurt if shes with me.

i dont know how this helps though. im just sharing mine
Sorry we have to go tru all these.

Sorry to hear your going through this rough time wertz. Maybe she just needs time to herself now to think things out. Maybe she thinks a total break is better so she doesn't get hurt more.

[wertz]

sapphire <= thanks, no need to be sorry. it was my fault anyways. i should have stopped when she said no. but i continued and gave more hoping she will change her mind. only to realize i was taken advantage of, thats how i saw it anyways because i wasnt able to see any sense of appreciation or a return of favor of the things i did for her.
and i made it worst because lets just say we broke off on bad terms, should i say. my emotions got a hold of me and it ended bad. all i can do now, is to accept the consequences now....

[wertz]

Originally Posted by **Sapphire**

I think that if a girl makes it plain that she isn't interested in you in a romantic way that she pretty much means what she has told you. There are lot of different things that could lead her to letting you know this. She may not be ready for a committed relationship at the moment. She might have someone else in her life or maybe someone else that she may like. Or she just might see you as more of a friend than a romantic partner.

It's all in how you feel if you think you could stay friends with her or become closer to her as a friend only. If you feel too strongly for her, then it just may hurt you to continue on as a friend knowing it can't be more. I would do some thinking & decide on what your comfort level would be if you kept her as a friend or if you didn't.

**Sapphire** <== i really really love what your saying in this one. your right on the spot. and this is the situation i am really in right now. I had made peace and she also made peace with me yesterday and accepted friends. but it doesnt really mean anything right? i mean i will still keep my distance and not do the things i did for her before or even show care, right? am i right to just really act casually to her and just wait if she talks more and gives more attention, right? can i really do this? because sadly she is still inlove with her x even until now. and i knew this from the start. and that was the reason i stayed with her so i thought i could make her forget him but instead she said i was the reason she cant move on, because everytime i say about the "LOVE" word, she would remember HIM. its just unfair right? that im giving this much care, this much love, this much attention to her only to see somebody else?

tell me, should i really keep my distance?

[**Sapphire**]

Keeping your distance wertz does sound like it's the best thing. You can give her the time she needs to get over her ex & to miss you & the time you 2 spent together as well.