How long before first kiss with him? - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love

anniemov · 01-04-2008, 03:37 PM

Hi!
I am curious, how long after you know your current date/partner when you decide to kiss him/her?
At that time, how long you guys been formally going out?
Only if don't mind, please also share your age and gender.

Thank you!!

**Sapphire** · 01-04-2008, 05:37 PM

I am a female & 32.

I don't believe there is any kind of set time for when you can share a first kiss. It's one of those things were if you feel it & you want to kiss the person you are dating then you do it.

I think too much analyzing about kissing a person could possibly ruin the moment. It could also get either person a little nervous & the moment can pass you by & possibly continue to pass you by on each date.

Let it happen & be spontaneous.

aussiecoffee007 · 01-04-2008, 06:14 PM

im usually going out officially with them for about a month, but weve been friends for a while.

devilwoman · 01-04-2008, 07:09 PM

it depends what you mean by a kiss, I see nothing wrong with giving someone a quick goodnight kiss on the first date if things have gone well and you both get on well. Then again, a quick goodnight kiss could lead to a longer one if the chemistry was right, would go not further than that though until I was certain it wasn't going to be just a quick fling.

I'm female and 47 by the way, why do you want to know?

anniemov · 01-04-2008, 07:18 PM

Thanks.. because I was afraid that I will make myself a fool by allowing the kiss too soon.

We've been on 4th dates for the past 2 weeks, and he seems to be interested in kissing me, yet I haven't let it happen yet....

~Teej~ · 01-05-2008, 11:32 AM

Just do it when it feels right, there are no rules to say when is the right time, when it comes you will know

devilwoman · 01-05-2008, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anniemov

Thanks.. because I was afraid that I will make myself a fool by allowing the kiss too soon.

We've been on 4th dates for the past 2 weeks, and he seems to be interested in kissing me, yet I haven't let it happen yet....

you should never worry that you'll make a fool of yourself, things like that usually just happen when the time is right anyway

anniemov · 01-07-2008, 01:58 AM

one more question, if I let him kiss, will that automatically be considered that we are in exclusive dating condition?

aussiecoffee007 · 01-07-2008, 02:22 AM

not necessarily... just be clear with him about it, either way

**Sapphire** · 01-07-2008, 12:37 PM

I agree. If you do or don't want to be exclusive, have a talk with him about it & your feelings about being in an exclusive relationship with him.

anniemov · 01-07-2008, 02:22 PM

...regardless whether we decide to be in exclusive dating, if say I hang out with other guys, am I considered cheating?

~Teej~ · 01-07-2008, 09:56 PM

if you are hanging out as friends there is no problem.

aussiecoffee007 · 01-07-2008, 10:29 PM

no way, not to me. guyfriends can be just as important as girlfriends to a person!

~Teej~ · 01-07-2008, 10:38 PM

Same as me Aussie..My guyfriends are too important to me..More important than my girlfriends I would say, I wouldn't give them up for anyone

babylove621 · 01-07-2008, 10:45 PM

i agree, some of my guy friends mean way more than my girl friends, def wouldn't give them up.

aussiecoffee007 · 01-08-2008, 01:07 AM

haha yeah sometimes i tell more to my guyfriends and i hang out with them way more than girlfriends... so if a boyfriend thought i was cheating by beign friends with someone... i think they would have to go.
friends before boyfriends right?

anniemov · 01-08-2008, 02:11 AM

I see, as long I am not doing anything inappropriate, then I am not cheating, hanging out is fine, I guess.

**Sapphire** · 01-08-2008, 01:02 PM

I say anniemov if you don't want to be exclusive with him that you can talk to him about it. Make sure he knows that if you 2 do have a kiss or 2 that it's just that a kiss & that you don't want to date him exclusively at this time.

That way if you do see another guy it will be ok & also if he found out he wouldn't be hurt that you went out with someone else while being with him.

~Teej~ · 01-08-2008, 04:09 PM

Yeah I agree with Sapphire as long as you are making it clear to him what you want then things will be fine

Scbeauty09 · 01-13-2008, 05:40 PM

I didnt really decide it just kinda happen if you are in the moment......you will know when its the right time and place trust me !

**Tony** · 01-13-2008, 07:32 PM

hi Scbeauty09
welcome to the ATLF

please feel free to go to our Introduction section to introduce yourself to our ATLF members

anniemov · 01-13-2008, 11:47 PM

we kissed... but it still bothers me, although I enjoy the time w/ him, yet when we kissed, I just feel scared, and I want to run away. Is this the sign that I "actually" not in love with him?

aussiecoffee007 · 01-14-2008, 01:13 AM

not necessarily, but it might.
it might be just mean that you are not ready, or its too early, or whatnot.

it also might mean you dont feel a lot for him, or dotn want to be with him in that way.

**Sapphire** · 01-14-2008, 01:10 PM

Aussie is correct. It could me a few different things as she named them before me.

1 thing also is maybe you are a bit too nervous to kiss him, so you have worked yourself up into a nervous ball that when you did kiss him, you didn't feel much because you were too nervous.

~Teej~ · 01-14-2008, 07:35 PM

Maybe it means you just want to be friends or maybe you weren't ready yet..Only you can decide that though

Mixed · 02-17-2008, 03:26 PM

Trust your instinct. If it's right, it'll feel right.

As for me, we were friends for over a year and then when we got together, we took it EXTREMELY slow ((especially because of our society)) so we kissed after 6 months I think.

For me, I had been in relationships where things were rushed and we kissed/did other things too fast and I ended up regretting everything. So I didnt want to make the same mistake more than once after I "matured"

So yeah I wasn't planning on being physical with him AT ALL. But the kiss came naturally and felt natural

no pressure and it was magical *shy*

eaglebaseball · 02-18-2008, 04:58 AM

for me, it was oh, 2 days after we were officially going out. We had pretty much been dating up until then, it just wasn't relaly official.

It didn't feel rushed though. And oh lord, it was amazing...

stilldreaming · 02-18-2008, 07:40 AM

1.5 Months or so
2 Hours
Male 23 starting Wednesday

The first kiss was very natural i think we moved in at the same time. I think the first hug was more memorable. I think hugs are underrated, they may not be juicy but they're so warm.

aussiecoffee007 · 02-19-2008, 03:02 AM

mine was about a month after we officially started dating, in both serious relationships ive been in.

tracey · 03-11-2008, 05:06 PM

i am female 36. well my partner kissed me first and we are still together after 15 years.

lauraaaxbaby · 10-09-2008, 03:14 PM

female 18 =)

im engaged now and my first kiss with him was the first day we went out after like 2 hours lol =)

aussiecoffee007 · 10-09-2008, 10:50 PM

nice

i guess when you know you know!

tatertotslove · 01-09-2011, 09:41 PM

I usually kiss on the first date but I have, on some occasions, hooked up with guys I'm not in a relationship and don't intend to be in a relationship with. I've waited until the second date if I'm not sure I want a second date.

blondie · 05-13-2011, 01:14 AM

My boyfriend kissed me on the second date

It was spontaneous, romantic and I loved it. We knew each other for two days but it didn't matter on that day...And now we've been together for 7 months already and we're only getting stronger

fusnot · 07-11-2011, 02:46 PM

Male mid 20s. Its been both a few seconds and long time friends before kissing. It just depends on the setting, situation, your and her (or his) comfort level, and on so many things. There literary is no right answer, unless you are into some kind of religion that has rules for that.

AsianBeauties · 07-15-2011, 01:40 PM

The first kiss is always nerve-wracking and there are so many expectations that we have of the other person. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves and this first sign of intimacy. I think you'll know the time is right if things are going well and there is a natural chemistry. Also, it is much more worth it if you don't know it is coming!

01-04-2008, 03:37 PM	#1
anniemov Newbie Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 40	How long before first kiss with him? Hi! I am curious, how long after you know your current date/partner when you decide to kiss him/her? At that time, how long you guys been formally going out? Only if don't mind, please also share your age and gender. Thank you!! __________________ DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING ODD?

01-04-2008, 05:37 PM	#2
Sapphire Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 17,187	I am a female & 32. I don't believe there is any kind of set time for when you can share a first kiss. It's one of those things were if you feel it & you want to kiss the person you are dating then you do it. I think too much analyzing about kissing a person could possibly ruin the moment. It could also get either person a little nervous & the moment can pass you by & possibly continue to pass you by on each date. Let it happen & be spontaneous. __________________

01-04-2008, 06:14 PM	#3
aussiecoffee007 Love Guru Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,636	im usually going out officially with them for about a month, but weve been friends for a while. __________________ no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.

01-04-2008, 07:09 PM	#4
devilwoman Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: East Yorkshire, UK Posts: 286	it depends what you mean by a kiss, I see nothing wrong with giving someone a quick goodnight kiss on the first date if things have gone well and you both get on well. Then again, a quick goodnight kiss could lead to a longer one if the chemistry was right, would go not further than that though until I was certain it wasn't going to be just a quick fling. I'm female and 47 by the way, why do you want to know? __________________

01-04-2008, 07:18 PM	#5
anniemov Newbie Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 40	Thanks.. because I was afraid that I will make myself a fool by allowing the kiss too soon. We've been on 4th dates for the past 2 weeks, and he seems to be interested in kissing me, yet I haven't let it happen yet.... __________________ DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING ODD? Last edited by anniemov; 01-04-2008 at 07:21 PM.

01-05-2008, 11:32 AM	#6
~Teej~ Love Guru Join Date: May 2007 Location: Uk Posts: 5,936	Just do it when it feels right, there are no rules to say when is the right time, when it comes you will know __________________ Before I fall too fast kiss me quick but make it last so i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say good bye

01-07-2008, 01:58 AM	#8
anniemov Newbie Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 40	one more question, if I let him kiss, will that automatically be considered that we are in exclusive dating condition? __________________ DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING ODD?

01-07-2008, 02:22 AM	#9
aussiecoffee007 Love Guru Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,636	not necessarily... just be clear with him about it, either way __________________ no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.

01-07-2008, 12:37 PM	#10
Sapphire Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 17,187	I agree. If you do or don't want to be exclusive, have a talk with him about it & your feelings about being in an exclusive relationship with him. __________________

01-07-2008, 02:22 PM	#11
anniemov Newbie Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 40	...regardless whether we decide to be in exclusive dating, if say I hang out with other guys, am I considered cheating? __________________ DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING ODD?

01-07-2008, 09:56 PM	#12
~Teej~ Love Guru Join Date: May 2007 Location: Uk Posts: 5,936	if you are hanging out as friends there is no problem. __________________ Before I fall too fast kiss me quick but make it last so i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say good bye

01-07-2008, 10:29 PM	#13
aussiecoffee007 Love Guru Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,636	no way, not to me. guyfriends can be just as important as girlfriends to a person! __________________ no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.

01-07-2008, 10:38 PM	#14
~Teej~ Love Guru Join Date: May 2007 Location: Uk Posts: 5,936	Same as me Aussie..My guyfriends are too important to me..More important than my girlfriends I would say, I wouldn't give them up for anyone __________________ Before I fall too fast kiss me quick but make it last so i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say good bye

01-07-2008, 10:45 PM	#15
babylove621 Newbie Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 73	i agree, some of my guy friends mean way more than my girl friends, def wouldn't give them up. __________________ his voice could save me <3

01-08-2008, 01:07 AM	#16
aussiecoffee007 Love Guru Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,636	haha yeah sometimes i tell more to my guyfriends and i hang out with them way more than girlfriends... so if a boyfriend thought i was cheating by beign friends with someone... i think they would have to go. friends before boyfriends right? __________________ no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.

01-08-2008, 02:11 AM	#17
anniemov Newbie Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 40	I see, as long I am not doing anything inappropriate, then I am not cheating, hanging out is fine, I guess. __________________ DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING ODD?

01-08-2008, 01:02 PM	#18
Sapphire Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 17,187	I say anniemov if you don't want to be exclusive with him that you can talk to him about it. Make sure he knows that if you 2 do have a kiss or 2 that it's just that a kiss & that you don't want to date him exclusively at this time. That way if you do see another guy it will be ok & also if he found out he wouldn't be hurt that you went out with someone else while being with him. __________________

01-08-2008, 04:09 PM	#19
~Teej~ Love Guru Join Date: May 2007 Location: Uk Posts: 5,936	Yeah I agree with Sapphire as long as you are making it clear to him what you want then things will be fine __________________ Before I fall too fast kiss me quick but make it last so i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say good bye

01-13-2008, 05:40 PM	#20
Scbeauty09 Newbie Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1	I didnt really decide it just kinda happen if you are in the moment......you will know when its the right time and place trust me !

01-13-2008, 07:32 PM	#21
Tony Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: On an Island Posts: 5,830	hi Scbeauty09 welcome to the ATLF please feel free to go to our Introduction section to introduce yourself to our ATLF members __________________

01-13-2008, 11:47 PM	#22
anniemov Newbie Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 40	we kissed... but it still bothers me, although I enjoy the time w/ him, yet when we kissed, I just feel scared, and I want to run away. Is this the sign that I "actually" not in love with him? __________________ DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING ODD?

01-14-2008, 01:13 AM	#23
aussiecoffee007 Love Guru Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,636	not necessarily, but it might. it might be just mean that you are not ready, or its too early, or whatnot. it also might mean you dont feel a lot for him, or dotn want to be with him in that way. __________________ no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.

01-14-2008, 01:10 PM	#24
Sapphire Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 17,187	Aussie is correct. It could me a few different things as she named them before me. 1 thing also is maybe you are a bit too nervous to kiss him, so you have worked yourself up into a nervous ball that when you did kiss him, you didn't feel much because you were too nervous. __________________

01-14-2008, 07:35 PM	#25
~Teej~ Love Guru Join Date: May 2007 Location: Uk Posts: 5,936	Maybe it means you just want to be friends or maybe you weren't ready yet..Only you can decide that though __________________ Before I fall too fast kiss me quick but make it last so i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say good bye

02-17-2008, 03:26 PM	#26
Mixed Member Join Date: Nov 2007 Posts: 233	Trust your instinct. If it's right, it'll feel right. As for me, we were friends for over a year and then when we got together, we took it EXTREMELY slow ((especially because of our society)) so we kissed after 6 months I think. For me, I had been in relationships where things were rushed and we kissed/did other things too fast and I ended up regretting everything. So I didnt want to make the same mistake more than once after I "matured" So yeah I wasn't planning on being physical with him AT ALL. But the kiss came naturally and felt natural no pressure and it was magical shy

02-18-2008, 04:58 AM	#27
eaglebaseball Super Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 468	for me, it was oh, 2 days after we were officially going out. We had pretty much been dating up until then, it just wasn't relaly official. It didn't feel rushed though. And oh lord, it was amazing... __________________ "Life's simple, you make choices and you don't look back."

02-18-2008, 07:40 AM	#28
stilldreaming Newbie Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: california Posts: 49	1.5 Months or so 2 Hours Male 23 starting Wednesday The first kiss was very natural i think we moved in at the same time. I think the first hug was more memorable. I think hugs are underrated, they may not be juicy but they're so warm. __________________ Shut Up Im Dreaming... Last edited by stilldreaming; 02-18-2008 at 07:41 AM. Reason: spelling

02-19-2008, 03:02 AM	#29
aussiecoffee007 Love Guru Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,636	mine was about a month after we officially started dating, in both serious relationships ive been in. __________________ no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.

03-11-2008, 05:06 PM	#30
tracey Junior Member Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: midlands Posts: 132	i am female 36. well my partner kissed me first and we are still together after 15 years. __________________ i am mad.

10-09-2008, 03:14 PM	#31
lauraaaxbaby Newbie Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: I waLk tHe sTreEts oF NeWyork =) Posts: 53	female 18 =) im engaged now and my first kiss with him was the first day we went out after like 2 hours lol =)

10-09-2008, 10:50 PM	#32
aussiecoffee007 Love Guru Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 8,636	nice i guess when you know you know! __________________ no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.

01-09-2011, 09:41 PM	#33
tatertotslove Newbie Join Date: Jan 2011 Posts: 6	I usually kiss on the first date but I have, on some occasions, hooked up with guys I'm not in a relationship and don't intend to be in a relationship with. I've waited until the second date if I'm not sure I want a second date.

05-13-2011, 01:14 AM	#34
blondie Newbie Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 2	My boyfriend kissed me on the second date It was spontaneous, romantic and I loved it. We knew each other for two days but it didn't matter on that day...And now we've been together for 7 months already and we're only getting stronger __________________ C`est cette fille qui me trouble au point de plus pouvoir parler..Elle est tellement belle toute en simplicité

07-11-2011, 02:46 PM	#35
fusnot Newbie Join Date: Jul 2011 Posts: 27	Male mid 20s. Its been both a few seconds and long time friends before kissing. It just depends on the setting, situation, your and her (or his) comfort level, and on so many things. There literary is no right answer, unless you are into some kind of religion that has rules for that.

07-15-2011, 01:40 PM	#36
AsianBeauties Love Struck Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 35	The first kiss is always nerve-wracking and there are so many expectations that we have of the other person. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves and this first sign of intimacy. I think you'll know the time is right if things are going well and there is a natural chemistry. Also, it is much more worth it if you don't know it is coming!