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my ex broke up with me a year ago and I'm not sure about my next move - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Old 01-23-2008, 05:35 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 4
dreamguy is on a distinguished road
Default my ex broke up with me a year ago and I'm not sure about my next move

So here's my story. I was with my ex girlfriend for 4 years. She broke up with me in January 2007 because she was under a great deal of emotional distress from losing 2 close members of her family.

She said that the emotional distress has taken a toll on her mind. She started drinking shortly after we broke up. When she broke up with me that night she told me to move on with my life and not wait for her. This was after she shouted at me in anger saying "At this point I don't care who you sleep with!"

She has quite a few medical problems. She is prone to have seziures if she's under a lot of stress.

I stayed in regular contact with her as a friend from January until April. I initiated all the contact. I was trying to support her during her rough patch.

But in April I reduced my contact to where I only answered her. I never initiated. This continued until July. She would text me 2 to 3 times per week.

By July I asked her if we could meet up but she turned me down. At that point I knew I wasn't getting anywhere with her and it was torturing me to still talk to her. So I implemented no contact for the next 4 months.

From January until early October she limited our communication to text messages and IMs. She didn't want to talk on the phone. But her phone calls started coming again in early October. I let them all go to voicemail as I was still implementing no contact.

In mid November I broke NC by sending her family a "thinking of you card" because it was the 1 year anniversary of her dad's death. She called me the following day and left a voicemail asking me to call her back. I waited a day to call her back and she thanked me for the card.

Then she called me again thanksgiving weekend and left a voicemail wishing me a happy thanksgiving. By December 1st I get an e-mail from her on myspace telling me that she misses me alot and that she still loves me.

Anyway to make a long story short we have been in limited contact since mid November. She has initiated most of the calls and texts. I have been civl and kept all conversations light, funny, & short and I made sure to end conversations first.

But in the past 2 weeks she has initiated talk about heavy subjects such as our relationship. She e-mailed me more confessions of her feelings.

On January 10th she e-mailed me the following:

"I actually haven't been anywhere since me and you broke up except for when me and mom go to the store to do our monthly shopping which i pay for now. I really and trully miss EVERYTHING that we did together. I really meant it when i told you that i still love you and i'm starting to regret the things that i told you last year when we broke up...Remember when i told you that i would prolly never think about taking you back again at all? That's one of the things I regret saying."

Then last night she and I talked some more and she sent a comment on my myspace page saying the following:

"Our four year relationship was one of the best ones that i have ever been in with any man in my life...I'm also grateful that we have still kept in touch since then.I also want to tell you that i love you (my name) and i always will. At the time of the breakup i was going through so much turmoil that my head was spinning and i ended up hurting you for no reason..I wish that i had never ended the relationship at all. But in some ways it has made you and myself better people and we're still able to talk about everything just like we did when we were together."

This is the same girl who told me to move on with my life the night she broke up with me.

So after she sent me this I ended the conversation first by saying "Listen it's getting pretty late here. How about we talk about this later?"

Then she suggested that we talk more Thursday night. She also said " I'm off all weekend. I'll just catch up on house cleaning but the rest of the weekend i'm free. Don't have anything planned."

Then she says goodnight and sends me a kiss gesture. I reciprocated with a hug gesture instead of a kiss one. I figure it's not a good idea to blindly reciprocate with flirting when she's being flirty. I reciprocated with friendliness instead.

So what should my next move be? I would like to reconcile with her but I don't want to pressure her. I'm not going to ask her to meet up. I'm going to let her ask me to meet up.

Should I go back to no contact? If so for how long? If I decide to go no contact for the next 6 months will she miss me more? If I stay in contact with her now what are the chances that I'm being strung along?

I have more information about the conversations we had over the last 2 weeks but I'll save it for a future post as I know this has been a long read for everybody so far.

I've been feeling down for most of this month as it marks the 1 year anniversary of the breakup. I'm still not over her.

Last edited by dreamguy; 01-23-2008 at 05:54 AM.
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