Awful long distance...... - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love

iamadreamer · 11-08-2009, 04:56 PM

my relationship started back in 2003....after 3 ys he had to move to another country because of work. we kept on together handling a long distance relationship bc he was not sure to commit. during these years he has cheated on me ONCE for distraction, bore, or whatever. I forgave him and started over...he has got many issues esp related to an old important relationship.
our relationship seems like almost at the end now...and i feel lonely,empty and drained. i have put all myself to this relationship - made a lot of efforts and been faithful and completely devoted to him.
now he is depressed, confused about his feelings for me and still doubting on his ex. we talked last night on the phone for 2 hours. at the end of the conversation he sent to me a text saying that "he is a troubled soul, unhappy man and he does not understand his life and how i can tolerate to stay in it "I tried to call him the morning after but he did not accept my phone call neither my texts/only this afternoon he sent to me an email saying : "ive got some things in my mind that I need to sort out. Okay? Try to sleep, enjoy the rest of your weekend,week.."
that's it. I really think that's it. i feel lost empty and lonely.
This relationship is a mess but the most beautiful and most important part of my life. I have a good life, happy family and friends and this will sound weird to you but ... he has some Unhealthy attraction to girls who are COMPLETELY ALONE in life and that need a lot of help and support. it makes it feel like a MAN. i find it very unhealthy but at the same time I hate the fact that he does not realize that I DO NEED HIM in my life no matter how fortunate i am! he cannot feel me HIS for real bc of these things and this is very sad and unfair to me.
I think this is the end -- why am I venting here? Because I have the hope to read some advice/suggestion from you on HOW TO MANAGE THIS BREAKING UP.Some of you might think "long distance wold make it easier to move on" BUT to me is the opposite. I will DEFINITELY have no chance to see him again not even one last time- I will have NO Idea of what he is doing tomorrow, how he feels, if he is happy or not, how life is treating him, if he is safe or in trouble........it is a real nightmare i am crying whiel i write this because FACING THE TRUTH IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING even if the rightest one.
PLEASE HELP ME.I AM IN REAL PAIN.I Was used to call him up, send him many many texts emails very often, call him up at my nights which would be his days bc of the timezone....he still made my day even if his presence was not here. I FEEL LIKE I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY.

**Sapphire** · 11-09-2009, 12:01 PM

He cheated on you before, to me that's grounds for never talking to him again.

Personally I think he's playing with your head. He's going to tell you he has feelings for his ex & you're just supposed to take it??

Sorry, but my advice is no more contact & move on with your life, you can do so much better than this guy.

raybork · 11-10-2009, 11:46 AM

You are experiencing the stages of a break up. We all go through this period when we lose someone we care about.
Soon you will get through this and move on with your life. Life is all about joy and pain,and learning from it all.
I do hope you find the strength to see you through this time. Are there friends or family you could confide in, their support could really help you.

11-08-2009, 04:56 PM	#1
iamadreamer Newbie Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 6	Awful long distance...... my relationship started back in 2003....after 3 ys he had to move to another country because of work. we kept on together handling a long distance relationship bc he was not sure to commit. during these years he has cheated on me ONCE for distraction, bore, or whatever. I forgave him and started over...he has got many issues esp related to an old important relationship. our relationship seems like almost at the end now...and i feel lonely,empty and drained. i have put all myself to this relationship - made a lot of efforts and been faithful and completely devoted to him. now he is depressed, confused about his feelings for me and still doubting on his ex. we talked last night on the phone for 2 hours. at the end of the conversation he sent to me a text saying that "he is a troubled soul, unhappy man and he does not understand his life and how i can tolerate to stay in it "I tried to call him the morning after but he did not accept my phone call neither my texts/only this afternoon he sent to me an email saying : "ive got some things in my mind that I need to sort out. Okay? Try to sleep, enjoy the rest of your weekend,week.." that's it. I really think that's it. i feel lost empty and lonely. This relationship is a mess but the most beautiful and most important part of my life. I have a good life, happy family and friends and this will sound weird to you but ... he has some Unhealthy attraction to girls who are COMPLETELY ALONE in life and that need a lot of help and support. it makes it feel like a MAN. i find it very unhealthy but at the same time I hate the fact that he does not realize that I DO NEED HIM in my life no matter how fortunate i am! he cannot feel me HIS for real bc of these things and this is very sad and unfair to me. I think this is the end -- why am I venting here? Because I have the hope to read some advice/suggestion from you on HOW TO MANAGE THIS BREAKING UP.Some of you might think "long distance wold make it easier to move on" BUT to me is the opposite. I will DEFINITELY have no chance to see him again not even one last time- I will have NO Idea of what he is doing tomorrow, how he feels, if he is happy or not, how life is treating him, if he is safe or in trouble........it is a real nightmare i am crying whiel i write this because FACING THE TRUTH IS THE MOST DIFFICULT THING even if the rightest one. PLEASE HELP ME.I AM IN REAL PAIN.I Was used to call him up, send him many many texts emails very often, call him up at my nights which would be his days bc of the timezone....he still made my day even if his presence was not here. I FEEL LIKE I AM ABOUT TO GO CRAZY.

11-09-2009, 12:01 PM	#2
Sapphire Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Illinois, USA Posts: 15,651	He cheated on you before, to me that's grounds for never talking to him again. Personally I think he's playing with your head. He's going to tell you he has feelings for his ex & you're just supposed to take it?? Sorry, but my advice is no more contact & move on with your life, you can do so much better than this guy. __________________

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11-10-2009, 11:46 AM	#3
raybork Love Struck Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Rugby, Warwickshire, England Posts: 42	You are experiencing the stages of a break up. We all go through this period when we lose someone we care about. Soon you will get through this and move on with your life. Life is all about joy and pain,and learning from it all. I do hope you find the strength to see you through this time. Are there friends or family you could confide in, their support could really help you.