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Dealing with huge problems with my ex wife - it's beginning to affect our kids 😞 - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Old 10-26-2013, 12:37 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Near Gatwick Airport, Surrey, UK
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xxjustinukxx is on a distinguished road
Default Dealing with huge problems with my ex wife - it's beginning to affect our kids 😞

Hello, I have reached absolute breaking point, and desperately need some help and advice. I can't tell you how much it would mean to me.

First a bit of background...

I was with my wife for 14 years. We had our ups and downs like most couples. We had three gorgeous children together, and as the years went on, we slowly realised it wasn't working, and after a long time, and trying hard, we decided to separate. Two years later we divorced.
During our relationship I subsequently found out my wife had been having an affair with my best friend for nearly two years. It was devastating as I'm sure you can imagine. Even now I sometimes struggle with it.

Since we parted we have remained good friends and I've always continued to go over to her place, help out with the kids, be there for them and her as much as I can. My ex wife met someone else and has been seeing him for over a year now. He has met our children. My ex and I agreed to a "6 month rule" before introducing a new partner to the children. Which I agreed with.

Everything was going fine between us, until I met my girlfriend. My ex has said I've changed, acted like an a-hole, and because my girlfriend lives nearby, my ex says I'm "shatting on my own doorstep".

My ex and I have had a few arguments, one of which was when she assumed we'd be meeting for lunch and because nothing had been planned, I made plans with my girlfriend. My ex hit the roof and said I was hurting her. We've had several tear-filled conversations, and she has said she hates me.

But in all honesty, i don't feel I've changed, sure I've had less time to see my ex, but my attitude towards her is the same, I've never been rude or nasty or anything.

Now we've become those parents that we always said we'd never be, hardly talking to each other, dropping the kids off at the door, that kind of thing.

I've mentioned my girlfriend meeting the kids after the agreed 6 months, and my ex says "over my dead body" - and if I do, she'll "see you (me), in court". So how do I get past this?

I don't understand why the change has happened. Can anyone give me any advice on how to deal with this?

Thank you.
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Old 11-05-2013, 11:37 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Uk
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TracyJ will become famous soon enoughTracyJ will become famous soon enough

sounds like she doesn't like the fact that you have moved on.
she was the one that cheated and the reason that your marriage broke down.
she is purposely trying to make it difficult for you.
so sorry that you are having to go through this.
I don't really have any advice for you.
Hopefully she will calm down, but sounds like she might still have feelings for you and is unable to let go.
At the end of the day you don't want to lose access to your kids.
Hopefully your new gf will understand if you delay her meeting them.
Good luck, wish I had a great answer for you but I don't
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