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Old 01-31-2013, 11:09 AM   #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
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confusedfem is on a distinguished road
Default having a baby with someone I'm not sure I'm in love with

Please..i need some serious advice.

I've been in an almost 8-year relationship with my ex-boyfriend. We were like on and off. I met this guy through a common friend and he is been with a 4-year relationship.

We started dating even though we have these past issues with our exes and even if we are not really sure of what we truly feels. During the course of our dating we came into a point where we felt like we love each other. Something happened and then I found out that I'm pregnant. And then, as time passes by, we realized that we cannot let go of the past but we don't know what to do with our situation, me being pregnant and he will became a dad.

What's the best thing I could do? BTW, I'm planning to go with the pregnancy, I'm just really confused with what would be my relationship with this guy would. I'm not sure if I love him but there's part of me that really cares for him and hoping we could be family together.
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Old 02-09-2013, 01:27 AM   #2
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acsmith3506 is on a distinguished road

Dear confusedfem:

What a dilemma, but welcome to the new world, a world full of children, where the parents are together or not together. I believe that when a woman gets pregnant, that pregnancy was chosen for the woman by our Lord. It's a gift to you and yours, for you were chosen because of your caring and love towards another individual. You may have made a mistake, seeking comfort from another man, while you were in a relationship that is on and off. I have been in such relationships myself. It hurts but I didn't go to bed with another man while my man was in the arms of another. I just worked and cried myself to sleep at night. Remember that the baby is #1 now. You don't need a male relationship. Just make sure he does his part in taking care of your baby (his baby). Once your guy and his gal find out that you are pregnant, it will be yours and his choice to separate yourselves from your past relationships and start your relationship with one another as a couple, and expectant parents. In the meantime, if you don't have insurance for the baby, you best go to Social Services for help for you to get your meds and chosen doctor. Then you will need medical insurance on the baby and food assistance for the baby. Good luck to you. There are also places that help you with pregnancy aid. You need to check them out. And confusedfem, don't worry about having a male relationship right now. You are going to be a mom, and if you are stressed in any way, the baby will be affected by it. It's important that you get your rest, be happy, and be proud that you were chosen by our Lord. Good luck and write me anytime.
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Old 02-21-2013, 05:58 AM   #3
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Ellen is on a distinguished road

I’m not much of a miracle or this baby is a blessing kind of person. You’re pregnant and have chosen to try your hardest to make this baby happy and healthy and have a wonderful life. It will take all of your effort but can be very rewarding and fill you with a new sense of love you haven’t experienced before. As for starting a family where you aren’t so sure about loving the man who is the father—well, there are plenty of situations where both mom and dad can essentially be parents of the year without necessarily being a couple. You can’t force yourself to love someone deeply simply because you have a child together. What you can do is work with him to make your baby happy. Even if that means you guys are apart. Your lover (husband, boyfriend or whatever) should be someone you partner with because it’s someone who YOU love.
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Old 02-21-2013, 10:25 PM   #4
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Old 02-23-2013, 03:44 AM   #5
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m8check is on a distinguished road

Good job for deciding to go with the pregnancy. But if you are not sure about the baby's father, don't force yourselves to commit into the relationship. It can get messy someday to be with this guy then realize that you don't really love him.
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