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Signs to Know If You are Jealous of Your Partner - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Old 10-24-2008, 09:24 PM   #1
Lucky
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Default Signs to Know If You are Jealous of Your Partner

Some people believe jealousy is a sign of love. But real love involves trust and communication, not accusations and snooping. When jealous behaviour becomes a problem, it's most often a manifestation of the jealous person's own insecurities and self-esteem issues. Here's some signs that you may have a problem with jealousy:

1) Feeling compelled to track your partner's every minute of time
2) Becoming overly upset when your partner is unavailable
3) Calling your partner multiple times to check up
4) Feeling tempted to flirt with others just to 'show' a supposedly cheating partner
5) Interpreting a partner's fatigue, illness, or distraction as a sign that you are not loved
6) Compulsions to snoop into a partner's e-mail, cell phone records or other private communications

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Old 10-24-2008, 10:40 PM   #2
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my question for you, lucky... jealousy is something i know that i struggle with. i show many of those signs :P

so what do i do about it? how do i stop the cycle? at this point i dont even thikn it has to do with the guy, cuz i think its just psychological
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Old 10-26-2008, 03:52 PM   #3
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Very good information Lucky, I'm going to make this a sticky to keep it at the top.

I can give you an answer or possibly 1 answer to your question Aussie.

When you start to feel the jealousy rising up in you, think about the good times you & he have. Think about how he does care/love you, the times he's proven his feelings. Let's say you call him & he doesn't pick up, call you back right away or reply to you right away. Try to put yourself in his shoes, you know his schedule with work, school, home things. Try to remember that he can be busy at the moment, but he will get back to you. Try to remember other times he may not have been available, but he DID get back to you. Those different things just might help the jealous feelings you get.
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Old 10-26-2008, 06:26 PM   #4
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yeah i think you are right... its not even that he when he doesnt pick up his phone, i think hes out with someone else or something, i just like talking to him i guess. mostly its 4 and 5 that get me. i know hes really busy with work and school, hes finishing up his thesis and all that stuff, but then i feel like i love him more than he loves me and i think he doesnt love me anymore as much or something
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Old 10-27-2008, 01:16 PM   #5
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That's the frustration that comes with being in an LDR Aussie. They are far away so when you don't get the chance to hear from them all these thoughts start running through your head. Believe me hun I've been there, done that when my fiance & I were apart. There are so many ways to keep in touch these days, but when 1 or the other is busy that's when the loneliness takes over & those crazy thoughts too.
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Old 10-28-2008, 12:00 AM   #6
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yeah i know, its just more that my imagination runs wild i guess than me not trusting him, cuz really, i know he would never cheat on me, i just get really jealous when hes around all these other girls but iii cant be with him
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Old 10-28-2008, 12:49 PM   #7
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Yeah you kind of get resentful because those other girls can get to see him everyday & you can't. I know those types of feelings as well Aussie. It's hard, but just try to continue to say that you 2 will be together when the time is right for the both of you. Also, say to yourself that he does love you & only you.
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Old 10-28-2008, 11:23 PM   #8
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well i know he does we are trying to live with each other--well not in the same house but in the same country!!--next year but there are just a lot of factors involved... ugh
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Old 02-22-2009, 06:36 AM   #9
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wow this thread sounds totally like me! I find myself getting so jealous of my boyfriend. He has all these girls that he is friends with... one in particular. They talk all the time, he tells her everything and i feel like has a better relationship with her then with me. About the whole snooping around thing... i have done that and found emails to random girls, and porn on his computer. So it gets my imagination going yet at the same time he has never really done anything to make me not trust him.
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Old 02-23-2009, 05:46 AM   #10
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ah well for me at least that would sound like reason to get jealous haha but i know hes closest to me at that helps... maybe try to talk to him more about hte emotional stuff, or ask to try to come to yuo too during tough times?
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Old 02-27-2009, 08:19 AM   #11
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Personally I think a little bit of jealousy is good. Nothing obsessive, but you know, if some guy was talking to my gf, making her laugh, etc, it might make me want to do something to step up my game per say.

GHCutie, I wouldn't worry about porn and stuff. I mean as long as it's not filled up with stuff, I think it's natural. I'd take a guess and say 80 percent of the guys I know look at porn, with or without girlfriends. I think as long as it doesn't get in the way of your relationship, like as long as it's not affecting your physical intimacy, or the way he treats you, then why not? Unless it morally offends you which I could totally understand. Guys are the hornier gender IMO, and your gf can't always be there to satisfy you when you'd like. lol.
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Old 10-24-2009, 09:00 PM   #12
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I would say how to deal with jealousy is by working on your own confidence, speaking to your partner about how you feel about him and your relationship and find self - talents, qualities,achievements and favourite parts of your body which you believe makes you very desireable to men, so why would he leave you if you give him some space to himself, appreciate his gestures and acts of love and kindness, accept that he has other responsibilities and a family and friends as well as you, be honest, trust him and stand up for yoursel and be optomisic and fun and adventurious and sociable and a great friend and companion. Am I right?
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Old 11-25-2009, 04:13 PM   #13
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Rockchick is right. I have been jealous in previous relationships and it was all down to my own insecurities, and feelings of low self esteem.
I ended up miserable, and made my girlfriends miserable. Eventually recognizing I had a real problem helped a lot. I realized my insecurity were based on fear, fear of losing the girl to someone else.
It took time and an understanding from my girlfriend, who eventually became my wife to turn things around. Her support helped me to overcome my irrational fears.
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Old 12-01-2010, 10:37 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raybork View Post
Rockchick is right. I have been jealous in previous relationships and it was all down to my own insecurities, and feelings of low self esteem.
I ended up miserable, and made my girlfriends miserable. Eventually recognizing I had a real problem helped a lot. I realized my insecurity were based on fear, fear of losing the girl to someone else.
It took time and an understanding from my girlfriend, who eventually became my wife to turn things around. Her support helped me to overcome my irrational fears.
Aw!!! Congratulations! You have learned one of the barriers of having a happy healthy relationship. That's brilliant! Well done. Best of luck with everything X
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Old 03-14-2011, 06:21 PM   #15
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thank you
tell me what is love relation. give me advice
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:23 AM   #16
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thank you
tell me what is love relation. give me advice
We really can't tell you what a relationship is like. You have to experience being with someone yourself in order to start to figure out what love is & what being with another person feels like.
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Old 03-15-2011, 09:30 PM   #17
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I used to be a really jealous person and lucky for me, it has gotten much better and we are now stronger than ever. I don't know what snapped me out of it, but I just realized that I love him and never want to lose him. It took time and patience with myself to change it but it happened. Change is tough, I can be the first person to tell you that.
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Old 07-29-2011, 06:13 AM   #18
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I always go onto my boyfriends facebook to check up on his mail...
I have found some pretty horrifying stuff, but I can't stop doing it.
The curiosity is what gets me.
I don't think its jealousy, I think its just determination to find out what his friends say about me and what he has in response.
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Old 07-29-2011, 11:29 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Saures View Post
I always go onto my boyfriends facebook to check up on his mail...
I have found some pretty horrifying stuff, but I can't stop doing it.
The curiosity is what gets me.
I don't think its jealousy, I think its just determination to find out what his friends say about me and what he has in response.
Don't you think that's a little invasive? Not only that, but if there were horrifying things that you saw, have you talked to him about it?
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Old 08-03-2011, 01:43 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucky View Post
Some people believe jealousy is a sign of love. But real love involves trust and communication, not accusations and snooping. When jealous behaviour becomes a problem, it's most often a manifestation of the jealous person's own insecurities and self-esteem issues. Here's some signs that you may have a problem with jealousy:

1) Feeling compelled to track your partner's every minute of time
2) Becoming overly upset when your partner is unavailable
3) Calling your partner multiple times to check up
4) Feeling tempted to flirt with others just to 'show' a supposedly cheating partner
5) Interpreting a partner's fatigue, illness, or distraction as a sign that you are not loved
6) Compulsions to snoop into a partner's e-mail, cell phone records or other private communications
Agreed. I'm actually aware that there are times I'm feeling jealous but I just can't help it.
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Old 09-20-2011, 12:51 AM   #21
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Maybe jealousy is a sign of love because I'd be delighted to know that my partner was doing the 6 things you mentioned
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Old 02-08-2012, 07:52 AM   #22
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Default jealousy still part of love life

yeah, i strongly agree with you but the fact is that, you cannot separate jealousy from lovers. you see, I can't be jealousy over something I don't love. even the scripture said something about God being a jealous lover, this is because He loves us human. we also have that attributes in us whenever we fall in love. believe me, if you are in a relationship and your partner is not being jealous, I tell you, you may not feel loved and special. all we should be talking about is excessive of it is bad but it must be there as long as you love the person. jealousy is like being concerned and with it, you can also save your relationship by preventing infidelity. no man should even trust him/herself
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Old 02-23-2012, 10:37 PM   #23
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Jealousy is born of insecurity and distrust, and nothing else.

If your partner (or you) are jealous, and the other has done nothing to provoke it, then there is indeed a problem, but the problem resides with the one that's jealous, not the other way around.
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:04 PM   #24
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i am not guilty of number 1,2,3,4,5 but i am guilty of number six, becasue 8 months ago i discovered my gf cheating on me long distance by phone, email, picture mail.
nothing sexual, but the 'babe' stuff and 'i love you' and 'your the man ive been wating for all eternity'. it only lasted about five weeks before he moved on.

ever since then, i check our phone logs to see if anything is out of the ordinary.
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