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Create the moment or wait for it? - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Old 01-15-2010, 11:05 AM   #1
esqubar
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Unhappy Create the moment or wait for it?

Hello,
I am feeling really low this morning and wanted to get some advice and whether or you think I made a mistake or not! My question revolves around kissing and whether you should wait for the right moment or create that moment yourself? (will try to keep this short)

a bit of background
--------------------
I just got into a long distance relationship with a friend i have known for 2 years, we have been "together" as a item for 2 months now. The long distance is quite hard as she lives in another country and i only get to see her once a month. Anyway we had our first date (as a couple) last month and it was great, but we didnt kiss. We spoke about it afterwards and both admitted we dont kiss on the first date BUT we also admitted it would have been nice to kiss then. We spoke a bit about it in casual convo and both said we usually kiss on the 3rd date. That was last month and and since then our relationship has gone up a notch and we have been talking a lot more openly about the physical side and a lot about kissing.

Met her yesterday
-----------------
I wasn't supposed to see her until next month but she called me on Weds saying she is coming to country for a day (last min with work) and she is going to take the early flight in so we maybe can have 30 mins to spend together before she has to go to work...i went picked her up and we were talking, tried to go for coffee...went into a place and they kicked us out after 5 mins because they were closing! i had 15 mins left we parked up somewhere and started talking and before you know it i had to drop her off again. As i droped her off her work colleague were waiting at the train station and they came to the car..we hugged ot say goodbye and she whispered in my ear "oh you didnt get to kiss me before" i WOULD have kissed right there and then but all her colleagues were around (like right next to us) and i also remember her saying she doesnt like to kiss in public...

Did i miss the moment?
-----------------------
So i came home and was upset...i thought about the night in full and when we were parked up it felt very rushed and and i didnt feel like there was a moment there to kiss...i was nervous yes but thinking back to my past GF i was nervous too but there was always a moment like were were doing something, our eyes met...pasued for a second and i made the first move. I didnt feel it here..but maybe she was just waiting for me? from her body language it didnt seem like she was indicating anything...but she must have been thinking it as she said it to me afterwards? worst part is the kiss was all i could think about all day and it never happened! was i being too naive and waiting for a moment or should i have just created it?

We talked last night (briefly) and she never mentioned it so im not sure if she was being serious or not..all i can think about is im not going to see her now for another month and i hope i didnt blow my chance.

thanks and your advice/thoughts are very much welcomed
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Old 01-16-2010, 02:44 PM   #2
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Well there really isn't a set time to kiss the person you're dating. It all depends on the mood & if you both are feeling it.

If you didn't feel comfortable enough the second time you 2 met because there were her colleagues around, then for you, you did the right thing.

Talk to her about when when you 2 chat next, let her know that you did want to kiss her, but you didn't feel it was appropriate at that time.
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Old 01-16-2010, 05:28 PM   #3
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Hey thanks for the reply...
What is really getting me down is that we are both comfortable enough to start kissing (even tho it was the 2nd date) and we have talked about it ages.

I was really low because in my head its like i let her down and didnt "man up" even tho her colleagues were there i still was with her for 10 mins in the car alone and I could have done more to start creating the moment...

She is in the air now and i wont get to speak to her until tomorrow, we have texted since and she hasnt mentioned anything so far i just hope she isnt disapointed

I will speak to her about it and see what she says...
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Old 01-17-2010, 10:21 PM   #4
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Looks like I have a lot to talk to her about? hahaha
well i havent spoke to her yet...she has exams this week and i am pretty busy myself so i will wait until things clear up. But as you can tell...with her acting distant (other threads) my thinking was this was my chance to bring our relationship up a level..i am really dreading her thinking its not worth it and with the distance its not like i can go and see her tomorrow :-(
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Old 01-18-2010, 01:20 PM   #5
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True, your relationship being long distance does put you at a disadvantage.

BUT you can still keep things going, even though you 2 are busy, send her a message just to let her know your thinking of her. Nothing that she would feel needs a big long talk while she is busy, but something nice that just may put a smile on her face.
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