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When's the right time for a first kiss - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Old 01-18-2009, 05:29 AM   #1
Sunsetplaza
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Talking When's the right time for a first kiss

I'm really happy to find this thread as I'm new to the board and logged on to ask the very question of 'how long before the first kiss?'

I'm 52, she's 44, both divorced, met online and spoke for hours and hours for several weeks before I moved to her town (A long planned move, NOT related to meeting her!). When we met in person, it was weird. I thought she didn't like me (in person) and she thought I didn't like her. Long story short, we didn't talk for a couple of months after that night, then she contacted me out of the blue and we got together again.

The second night was magic. We talked about the first date and laughed when we found out that we were both mis-reading each other. From that very moment on, we didn't have chemistry, we had the whole laboratory. At the end of the night, I was scared to kiss her goodnight even though the evening was amazing. I didn't want to screw it up by doing the wrong thing.

We talk or write every day, have seen each other again (last night) same chemistry, we share dark secrets as well as much laughter. It's kinda assumed that we'll keep on seeing each other as SHE says things like:

'Leave a good tip, we may want to come back here'
'One afternoon next week let's drive up and see your new business location'
'Am I too fat for you?' (she's skinny)
'We're so much alike this is dangerous' with a laugh

Things along those lines. Still, last night I just din't feel right kissing her goodnight as much as I wanted to for fear of moving too fast. YET, I worry that she may think I'm not interested and wonder why I'm NOT kissing her goodnight. I want to be a gentleman but I know nice guys finish last.

This lady is awesome. We're awesome. Yet, we don't really talk about 'us.' Maybe it's just assumed that we're hitting it off great. I want this to work badly and not screw anything up as I'm into this for the long run.

Also, she's out of town on business until Monday and I miss her terribly. Should I call or email to say hi or just let it go for the weekend and talk Monday? My gut says respect her 'space' and reconnect Monday, yet I want her to know I miss her.

Opinions on this and the kissing issue please?

Thanks!
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Old 01-18-2009, 03:45 PM   #2
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Welcome to ATLF, I'm glad that you joined us & decided to post your need for advice with our caring community.

Well honestly there isn't a set specific time for a first kiss, if you feel it then you just do it. It seems like you 2 really do get along so when it feels right to you, then give her a kiss hello or goodnight.

You could text her just to say Hi & that your thinking of her & hopes she's having a good time away. Nothing too personal, but enough to let her know that your thinking of her, little things like that go a long way with women.
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Old 01-18-2009, 03:51 PM   #3
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You could talk to her about it, just let her know you're nervous, that you really don't want to ruin things with her. She'll help you.. And talks like this can often lead to the thing happening..

The fact you came on the forum to ask this question, shows you are considering it, and apart of you wants to, just sounds like you're letting your nerves get in the way..

You could try speaking to her about it.. Otherwise, just keep contact, let her know you're thinking of her, and.. when the time is right - you'll know what to do
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Old 01-18-2009, 08:09 PM   #4
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It sounds to me like now is the right time to make the move. I mean - why not? If she seems interested and you obviously are then I think you should go for it. If you want to start off slow maybe try holding her hand first or touch her in a flirty manner. A lot of people go by that sort of body language to see how the other person is feeling.
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Old 01-25-2009, 02:03 AM   #5
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I'm sorry I missed your thread SunsetPlaza! It's so exciting and extremely cute! New found puppylove at your age. hahaha

Anyway, I understand it like you have been on 2 dates since the two month span from the very first date so the next will be like the third. Do something that will give you oppurtunity to hold her hand and get closer. It's no out of line for date #3. That will probably also set you up for a more 'natural' first kiss. Instead of the 'after evening' which can be pretty awkward anyway.

As for calling or emailing. You could always let her know you missed her when she returns by saying something like...."I don't know how many more of these 'months' long trips of yours I can take, I have missed talking with you, what are you doing tonight?" That way you are respecting her space but get to let her know you WERE thinking about her the whole time too.
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Old 02-04-2009, 03:28 AM   #6
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You should create a Pre Valentine Romantic Dinner Date.... It could be at the beach, in the mountains, candles, flowers, Wine, make the perfect setting and see how it unfolds. Let yourself be you and her be her. If the KISS happens it was meant to be. If not, maybe you are meant to be just very good friends.
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Old 02-04-2009, 04:49 AM   #7
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Thanks Sheri - That's a great suggestion but since my original post there's been a huge development in my love life. (See my post in Long Distance R/S).

The person I was seeing when I asked the kissing question is just not the one for me. She is a fine girl, smart, sweet, very pretty and I hope we're always good friends. (This proves there are some good people on the dating sites)

But...

I now realize that my heart is with the girl in the L/D R/S thread ( and has been for three years) and that's going great. Out of nowhere, like a dream come true.

I'm very happy
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Old 02-04-2009, 11:16 PM   #8
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I am very happy for you also Sunset. I am glad that things are working out for you
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Old 02-05-2009, 11:33 PM   #9
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im glad with your long distance as well, it seems you two are very cute together
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Old 02-07-2009, 12:48 AM   #10
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i agree with sheri...."Let yourself be you and her be her. If the KISS happens it was meant to be. If not, maybe you are meant to be just very good friends."
Make your move and you ll see...if this girl is the best for u.
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Old 07-22-2010, 11:39 AM   #11
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i am glad to hear your story, wish you all the best in your relationship with your lover.
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