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Alternative Lifestyle A forum for anyone in an "alternative lifestyle" (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, etc.). A place where you can ask questions and get advice without judgement.

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Old 04-07-2012, 11:45 PM   #1
kdwil78
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Default New friends drama

I just moved to a new city to be closer to my girlfriend… I have no friends here. Her family and friends are here.

I posted an ad looking for friends. After several responses, I choosed one.

We starting working out together and we went to the bar before introducing her to my girlfriend. Should I have introduced her before going out? I wasn't out alone with her it was 3 of us.

The first time my friend and I worked out I didn't tell her anything… but on the second work out in the same week I did because I didn't want her to assume I was single. I know how easily it is for someone to assume you are single because you don’t talk about your status.

One night we had a card party and I invited my new friend over because my girlfriend I shouldn't have new friends I haven't introduced her too.

Well, one of her friends had a instant attraction to my friend. That same friend also told my girlfriend that my new friend was staring at her(my girlfriend) and she thinks my new friend likes me.

My new friend and my girlfriend's friend exchanged numbers and starting talking.

The same night of the card party my girlfriend and I had a fight. I called my new friend to talk because I was hurt. My new friend caught me by surprise and said most people said she's pretty good at what she do and offered that to me. I ignored her. Another night we went shooting pool and we sat and talk in the car for a little while afterwards. Before I got out the car she said if you ever need anything, anything whatever that may be call me. Well, she has a way with words and she never directly says it but she says it so you know what she means. I laughed, but I didn't respond. So the next morning I received a text from her saying it's hard to not want me because I'm attractive but she was going to step back and be a good friend. It made me leery that she approached me like that to begin with because she knows I have a girlfriend that I am heads over heels in love with. But I'm assuming when you meet people they will test you. So I figured if she approaches me again in this manner, I will stop talking to her. Well, we talked on the phone one day and she mentioned my girlfriend posted on her FB going to Napa and Monterey. I said yes, she came to see me...but it threw me back because it seemed a little messy. I'm not my girlfriend's friend on FB, I prefer to keep those lines blocked. I was a little disappointed that my new friend might possibly create drama for me. So I mentioned it to my girlfriend that my new friend told me about her post and what she thought about it...giving her the heads up that my new friend might be on some other ****. She concluded the same thing I did. So on Sunday I invited her to breakfast with my girlfriend and I, just so she can see it's about Brandi no confusion...I just want a friend. No need for an intervention. I believe if you make that clear and the other person respects that a friendship can form.

Days later my girlfriend's friend told my girlfriend that my new friend told her that I never told her I had a girlfriend and that she thought I was single. And had no clue Brandi was my girlfriend at the card party. I invited her to a card party and gave her the address….that was it no extra info.

**Rewind a little**...a day after the party I told my girlfriend, my new friend said she couldn't tell we were girlfriends...we didn't give her that vibe, she didn't know B was the girlfriend I've mentioned but we were cute together. So it was obvious there my new friend knew I had a girlfriend before that night.

**Fast forward**
Well, my girlfriend called me blew the lid off and broke up with me.

I felt that maybe she should have talked to me first and asked instead of taking her friends word, considering the source was my new friend?

What do you think? Should I have cut her off when she first offered her services…. considering in any new friendship there may be an attraction and someone will make that known? Was I disrespectful to my relationship for giving her a second chance in friendship?

Is my girlfriend right by approaching me the way she did assuming what her friend told her was true and calling me liar?

Do you think her friend was being messy by telling her she thinks my new friend likes me and also telling her that my new friend said I never told her I had a girlfriend?

Mind you I never entertained my new friend in that manner, or did I by continuing to be her friend after she confessed her attraction?
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