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Is Fantasizing Ruining Potential Relationship? - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Old 06-05-2011, 10:55 PM   #1
itsmeshorti
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Default Is Fantasizing Ruining Potential Relationship?

Hi guys,

I am a 29 year old female working my way out of the closet... I met a girl 3 weeks ago at my cousins wedding. We were drinking, mostly I was. So I find that I am very drawn to this girl. I don't know what it is about her but I was just pulled to her. I'm not sure if she was flirting with me. But I definitely was with her. Before she left I suggested we get together sometime. She friended me on FB. We have only chatted once on there. So I'm thinking if she really was interested she would have contacted me by now. But then again here I am very shy and I can't contact her either.

Friday I was checking out her profile and accidentally requested her number. Agh how embarrassing. So I sent her a message "hey sorry about that I was clicking away on the phone and accidentally sent the request." She replied back it's ok here is my # in case you decide you want it. I haven't been brave enough to call, or even reply. I know what I want from her, but does she want the same thing?

My dilemma, I can't stop thinking about her, I keep having sexual fantasies about us meeting, like all of the time, since we talked last week on FB. I don't even know her. I keep looking at her profile, I feel like a creep. I don't even know if she likes me "in that way", she is bi-sexual, but said she was looking to make more friends. I am worried that if we do meet that my fantasies will ruin a potential relationship/ friendship. Like I'm afraid I will act this out. I am not a very spontaneous person, I guess I'm afraid of not being able to control my feelings. I think if I knew for sure she was interested "in that way" I would not be so hesitant. Maybe I'm afraid to come out of the closet? I wouldn't even mind being just friends with her, but I think this fantasizing may ruin it. Who knows if I do meet up with her I may find I don't even like her that much, lol this is just a fantasy. As you can see I am very confused. I thought about talking to my T about it, but we have a lot do discuss tomorrow I don't know if we can fit it in.
Some advice, Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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Old 06-06-2011, 11:51 AM   #2
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Welcome to ATLF, glad that you joined us here.

The only way you will find out for sure if she's interested is if you call her & see if she would like to hang out, go for coffee or something. Not ask her on a date, but something where you 2 can meet, get to know each other & go from there.
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Old 06-07-2011, 09:19 AM   #3
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Thanks for the reply. I did reply to her gave her my number and said we should hang out sometime. Now waiting.... I realized fantasizing is only ruining it for me. If I get my hopes up and then nothing happens, so I have to just relax and let whatever happens happen.
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Old 06-07-2011, 11:03 AM   #4
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You are right, just relax & see where things go from there. I know it's hard sometimes to get high hopes when you like someone, but now the ball is in her court.

Keep us updated on if she replies & how things go too.
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Old 07-11-2011, 02:49 PM   #5
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I have missed out on so many opportunities because I had no balls. Just gather at least 20 seconds of courage, enough to call her and say "hello". Don't wait - it sucks.

If she doesn't feel the same way, you lost nothing

As far as fantasies go, they are fun, but don't mix them with reality - it can ruin things if you take the fantasies too seriously.
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