Visit our other forums: Orchid Forum Gardening Forums Bonsai Forum Citrus Forum Fat Cat Forum Appraisers Forum Vegatarian Forum Disney Forum Hawaii Forum


my gf kissed another girl and hurts? should it - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
     Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
Go Back   Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love > Love & Relationships > Alternative Lifestyle

Alternative Lifestyle A forum for anyone in an "alternative lifestyle" (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, etc.). A place where you can ask questions and get advice without judgement.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-03-2008, 07:43 AM   #1
redline
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2
redline is on a distinguished road
Unhappy my gf kissed another girl and hurts? should it

I am a male and my girlfreind went out and made out with another girl (her freind) in the club. i have told her befoer that this breaks my heart but she did it again. I feel like it doesnt matter if its a girl or guy its cheating. She told me that she did not remember me telling her this and that she did not think that i would be hurt by doing this at all. She has never done anything to hurt me on purpose and never would but I have told her that I dont like this before. She becomes another person when she is drinking and seems to forget about everything that is really important. Any advice?
redline is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2008, 08:00 AM   #2
Tony
Photobucket
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
 
Tony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: On an Island
Posts: 5,831
Tony will become famous soon enoughTony will become famous soon enough
Default

first of all welcome to the ATLF
nice to have you with us
well from one male to another I would really say to her that she has a choice the other girl or you.
she has shown you how much she loves you by cheating.
I think what you need to do is think long and hard what you want because its all so clear that you can not trust her.
to be honest you should not have to tell he she can not cheat with some one else
her love should be for you and no one else.

I also think that she has a problem with drinking she has to want to help herself first before you can help her.
she become another person when drinking she needs help and I think you need to make a decision either you help her and always have a thought in the back of your mind when she is out, is she with some one else is she cheating on me.
then there is the issue of trust that has to be earned back

if she will not help herself you may have to let her go.

she may not have done anything to hurt you but the truth is she is doing a good job

lets also see what out other ATLF members have to say regarding this
__________________
Tony is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2008, 08:08 AM   #3
redline
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 2
redline is on a distinguished road
Default

to be more specific her freind went to kiss her and she recipricated. they were both really drunk. they made out and then acted normal again
redline is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2008, 08:22 AM   #4
Tony
Photobucket
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
 
Tony's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: On an Island
Posts: 5,831
Tony will become famous soon enoughTony will become famous soon enough
Default

kissed her OK but making out there goes trust for the second time
being drunk is no excuse in my mind.
I still believe she needs help to control the drinking problem

no guilt or remorse on her side by acting normal again

I clearly see the term being faithful has gone out the window

as you have said she has done this before to you ask yourself this question how much more of this do I take.

If she was to see what she is doing to you she would work through this with you and sort this out and be with you.

really she has crossed the line.
you had asked her not to do that and yet she has done that again
I also think its time to talk to her where you want your relationship to go with her and that is to be with you sober or drunk.
__________________
Tony is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2008, 12:22 PM   #5
**Sapphire**
Photobucket
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
 
**Sapphire**'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 17,189
**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future**Sapphire** has a brilliant future
Default

Welcome to ATLF redline, glad to have you here with us.

No matter if she kissed/made out with a guy or girl, that is still cheating. She can't class 1 gender as being worse than another.

Have you 2 discussed her possibly having bi-sexual tendencies? You mentioned this is another time she has kissed a girl, so maybe you 2 need to talk about her feelings towards women.

You need to have a good think & see if you would like to be with her anymore. She's cheated before, she did it again, being drunk is no excuse either. So, are you willing to continue on with your relationship always wondering when she's going to do it again. If she goes out, what she's up to etc.?
__________________
**Sapphire** is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2008, 04:00 PM   #6
TracyJ
Photobucket
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
 
TracyJ's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Uk
Posts: 6,059
TracyJ will become famous soon enoughTracyJ will become famous soon enough
Default

She cheated on you whether it is with a woman or a man it is still cheating.

If she gets like this when she is on alcohol then she shouldn't drink..When people get that drunk that they don't know what they are doing then they shouldn't drink themselves in to that state.

Tell her how hurt you are and that if you are going to continue with this relationship then she needs to stop all this.

Good luck.
TracyJ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2008, 05:28 PM   #7
dutchdiosa
Experienced
 
dutchdiosa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: always in his heart.
Posts: 316
dutchdiosa will become famous soon enoughdutchdiosa will become famous soon enough
Default

I agree with Teej here. It is cheating no matter which six directions you want to tear it apart. I would say have a discussion and see what happens. If she doesn't want to give up her drinking or at least control herself then you may have re-think the nature of your relationship. I know it is going to be tough, but if it hurts you...you should not have to go through that. Good luck with everything and make sure you stick around!!!
__________________
"Love isn't perfect. It isn't a fairytale or a storybook, and it doesn't always come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never letting go. Love is work, but most of all, love is realizing that every hour, every minute, every second of it was worth it because you did it ... together."
dutchdiosa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2008, 10:34 PM   #8
aussiecoffee007
Love Guru
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
 
aussiecoffee007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,636
aussiecoffee007 will become famous soon enoughaussiecoffee007 will become famous soon enough
Default

i think its cheating because cheating is just the act of being with someone other than your significant other, or feeling or wanting to to that degree, so i think she betrayed you and she cheated on you by kissing that other girl. cheating doesnt matter, the fact that she abandoned your relationship is enough.
i think if she cant control her drinking she has other issues that she needs to deal with before she can maintain a healthy relationship with you, im sorry to say that... she needs to get help if she cant get it under control.
__________________
no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.
aussiecoffee007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 07:50 PM   #9
lauraaaxbaby
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: I waLk tHe sTreEts oF NeWyork =)
Posts: 53
lauraaaxbaby is on a distinguished road
Default

its cheating. i dont think alcohol is an excuse i hate when people use that as an excuse. its funny how they rem. when they had fun when they were drunk but dont rem. when they cheat and do stuff there not suppose to do when there drunk
lauraaaxbaby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2008, 12:42 AM   #10
jjj
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7
jjj is on a distinguished road
Default

yh i agree...alcohol isnt an excuse...i dont think the first time is a big deal but u did tell her that u got upset nd then she did it again..i think thats the worse part..at least it was her friend...maybe u should go out with her and have a good night together with some of her friends..then mayb she might really see that you dont want her to do that
jjj is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2008, 03:58 PM   #11
lauraaaxbaby
Newbie
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: I waLk tHe sTreEts oF NeWyork =)
Posts: 53
lauraaaxbaby is on a distinguished road
Default

^^^^ i agreee
lauraaaxbaby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-05-2008, 08:53 PM   #12
aussiecoffee007
Love Guru
PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket
 
aussiecoffee007's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 8,636
aussiecoffee007 will become famous soon enoughaussiecoffee007 will become famous soon enough
Default

did you talk to her about it or anything, redline?
__________________
no hacer algo por miedo de fracasar es como suicidarse por miedo de morir.
aussiecoffee007 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks



Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
It hurts. I feel so foolish. Advice please. foolishguy Broken Heart - Breaking Up 10 09-13-2007 02:52 AM

Photobucket
Free Vote Caster from Bravenet.com Free Vote Caster from Bravenet.com

All times are GMT. The time now is 11:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Relationship Forum Ask The Love Forum