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Old 11-26-2012, 11:42 PM   #1
pegz
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Hello - first time posting on any sort of forum.

I am looking for advice/perspective. Thank you to anyone in advance. I've always felt a bit out of touch when it comes to women and relationships, however, it has been extremely difficult to pinpoint why.

I'm 21, going to a good university, strong grades, job lined up, president of a few organizations, keep in good physical shape -- basically, trying to make the best of what I have been given in life. Extremely grateful for the family I was born into. Very happy about my life, but my trouble with women has been getting me down.

Been told that I am funny, attractive, but there must be some vibe that I am giving off. I am a bit shy, but not to a fault in my opinion. I am respectful of women, and don't believe in "playing the game"; it's not who I am. I have never had sex... not a religious thing, just prefer hold out for someone I trust. However, I don't think that I fall into the realm of pushover/overly sensitive. Just want to find a special girl, and have been a bit disheartened by some of the things I see guys and girls my age doing.

I know men are "supposed" to pursue women by societal convention, but I see women making themselves available to those they are interested in. This rarely occurs for me (i.e., text messages out of the blue, asking if I'm going to a party, running into girls at random times, etc.), though I see these happen to many others around me. I get very little feedback, which is why I am turning to an internet forum (no mentors/confidants with respect to dating and girls). It would be very nice to see a few more welcoming signals from women, as I am either not receiving these or oblivious.

Told that I was "marriage material" by a girl who broke up with me. She did not mean it in a negative way, but I take offense to girls wanting to fool around in college, only to look for a "decent person" once they've had their fun. I try my best to make things light/enjoyable when I take someone out, but when I try to go the traditional dating route, girls don't seem terribly interested, despite the frequent complaints I hear about guys being pigs".

Not looking to change the way others think, but would just like some advice on how to be more attractive, spark a connection with women, and be the best man I can be. It'd make all the difference with regard to my general well-being.

Trying my best here.

Thanks,
Kay
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Old 12-30-2012, 04:32 AM   #2
goldengob
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Quote:
Told that I was "marriage material" by a girl who broke up with me
That comment right there should tell you something. I don't think she was actually paying you a compliment, hence the fact that she did eventually break up.
What I got from her comment was that you were too laid back and waiting for the inevitable.
I think your biggest problem could be your shyness. Which I also believe is why you haven't made any sexual advances towards them.

In todays day and age you don't always gain respect from a girl by not making the first move. Most girls you will meet, will welcome the intimacy. It's part of developing a relationship. If she likes you, she will want you to make that move, and if you don't eventually, she may be scared off, thinking that she is the one that is at fault.

Quote:
This rarely occurs for me (i.e., text messages out of the blue, asking if I'm going to a party, running into girls at random times, etc.)
Don't wait around for things to happen. You will miss out BIG TIME!
Try and initiate sometimes. Be the one who sends the text. The worst they can say is NO...right?....It's not the end of the world...Stand up brush off your knees and move onto the next one.

You consider yourself "funny" and "attractive."
If this is the case, there are probably hoards of girls around you who, just like yourself are scared to make the first move.

Get in there....give it a go, you will be surprised.
Don't let your potential future partner slip by your grasp.

And finally, don't take it too serious. Have fun trying to find the right person.

Last edited by goldengob; 12-30-2012 at 04:35 AM.
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