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Old 08-14-2011, 01:09 PM   #1
PaulaC
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Default New Relationship Troubles Already?

I met this really great guy about 6 weeks ago. Shortly after we met, he had to go offshore where he works 4 weeks then comes home for 2 weeks. While he was gone, we communicated almost constantly via phone, email, and text. It was great getting to know each other that way without the pressure of another face-to-face date so soon, but I looked forward to his homecoming very much. As soon as he returned, we fell into this really comfortable relationship like we had known each other for years. Now I've been here before and I learned my lesson about voicing those types of things, so I didn't. It surprised me very much when HE was the one who vocalized how comfortable he was, how I was everything he was looking for, how he was certain that he would never get into another relationship unless he could be best friends with that person and he felt like I was the woman he could be happy with. He even went so far as to say that he was thrilled with the way we got to know each other after meeting only a few times before he left for work. My little heart was pitter pattering all over the place.

Fast forward through a few sex sessions where I had several orgasms and he did not. I know that bringing this stuff up doesn't really help, but my own psyche was starting to hurt from wondering if it was something about me that was turning him off. He insisted it was him and that it had happened before. I was supportive and said that we would work through it and that I didn't want to lose my best friend over something so minor that was easily dealt with. He is hot, sexy, great in bed, and very sensual. And I had no problems telling him that I felt this way regardless of what happened.

This weekend, he had to make a 4 day out-of-town trip to see his family. I was invited, but I declined. As he probably knew I would. I'm not quite ready to meet the extended family just yet. Before he left, he told me that he wasn't sure he would get cell service there. I immediately thought this was odd, although I'm sure that there are parts of remote rural America that don't have great cell service, but who actually looks at cell coverage maps before going on a trip? I responded that I understood that we wouldn't be communicating as much as usual.

Our goodbye was really awkward, but after the fiasco in the bedroom I decided that I would step back and follow his lead because I didn't want to pressure him in any way. I like him a lot and want to be supportive and show my support for him. He texted a few times during the long drive there; just simple things like a sign that he saw or how high the temperature was. Then nothing. I texted him later to make sure he arrived safely, and he said that he did and was visiting with the family so I told him goodnight. The following day, he didn't communicate with me at all until very late that night where he texted me and told me he was having a great time and missed me.

Up until this point, our relationship has not been primarily a texting relationship. We talk on the phone, we talk face to face, it was always "good morning, beautiful" and "good night, love, sweet dreams". Now I'm getting this texting stuff that really says nothing at all. I recognize this for what it is: a virtual prehistoric retreat into the mancave for reasons that I don't quite understand. My question is: what can I do to further show him how much I care and that this is less of an issue for me than he thinks? Or is this retreat from me a sign of worse things to come? Like I said, he has quickly become a great friend and I can think of no one that I'd rather go to dinner with or to the movies with or just hang out on the beach with. I feel like we were custom made to spend time together and I've never gotten along with anyone better. I don't want to lose this.
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Old 08-15-2011, 11:21 AM   #2
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Welcome to ATLF, glad that you joined us here.

I say just try hard not to analyze these texts while he's away. He may be pre-occupied with family & can't be as communicative with you as he normally is when he's away.

When he comes back, then see how things go. If he's still the same way after a day or 2, then I suggest having a face to face talk with him about what's going on.
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Old 12-30-2011, 08:46 PM   #3
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If the relationship alreays has issues, they will only get bigger and bigger over time. I know you like him, but he is probably not the guy for you.
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