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Beginners Guide to Kissing - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Kisses They say a kiss is worth a thousand words. Come share your kiss stories, experiences, anything do to with the KISS!

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Old 09-03-2009, 07:02 PM   #1
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Love Beginners Guide to Kissing

More Types of Kisses:

Aristotelian kiss:
A kiss performed using techniques gained solely from theoretical speculation untainted by any experiential data by one who feels that the latter is irrelevant anyway.

Hegelian kiss:
A dialectical technique in which the kiss incorporates its own antikiss, forming a synthekiss, whatever that means.

Godelian kiss:
A kiss that takes an extraordinarily long time, yet leaves you unable to decide whether you've been kissed or not.

Socratic kiss:
Actually really a Platonic kiss, but it's claimed to be the Socratic technique so it'll sound more authoritative; however, compared to most strictly Platonic kisses, Socratic kisses wander around a lot more and cover more ground.

Sartrean kiss:
A kiss that you worry yourself to death about even though it really doesn't matter anyway.

Russell-Whiteheadian kiss:
A formal kiss in which each lip and tongue movement is rigorously and completely defined, even though it ends up seeming incomplete somehow.

Hertzsprung-Russellian kiss:
Oh, Be A Fine Girl/Guy, Kiss Me.

Pythagorean kiss:
A kiss given by someone who has developed some new and wonderful techniques but refuses to use them on anyone for fear that others would find out about them and start using them.

Cartesian kiss:
A particularly well-planned and coordinated movement: "I think, therefore, I aim." In general, a kiss does not count as Cartesian unless it is applied with enough force to remove all doubt that one has been kissed. (cf. Polar kiss, a more well-rounded movement involving greater nose-to-nose contact, but colder overall.)

Heisenbergian kiss:
A hard-to-define kiss--the more it moves you, the less sure you are of where the kiss was; the more energy it has, the more trouble you have figuring out how long it lasted. Extreme versions of this type of kiss are known as "virtual kisses" because the level of uncertainty is so high that you're not quite sure if you were kissed or not. Virtual kisses have the advantage, however, that you need not have anyone else in the room with you to enjoy them.

Nietzscheian kiss:
"She/He who does not kiss you, makes your lust stronger."

Epimenidian kiss:
A kiss given by someone who does not kiss.

Grouchoic kiss:
A kiss given by someone who will only kiss those who would not kiss him or her.

Harpoic kiss:
Shut up and kiss me.

Zenoian kiss:
Your lips approach, closer and closer, but never actually touch.

Procrustean kiss:
Well, suffice it to say that it is a technique that, once you've experienced it, you'll never forget it, especially when applied to areas of the anatomy other than the lips.


The Forms of Lip Kissing:

Eskimo Kiss: Lightly rubbing your noses together.

Peck: A short kiss with just the lips.

Closed Mouth: You meetlips and just kinda move them around, but keep them closed

Open Mouth: Like closed lip, but open lips some. Move them around and pull back periodically.

Surprise Kissing: This type of kiss is done when your partner is lying down on a sofa or ground, either asleep or lying with their eyes closed. Quietly approach your partner and place a small, very gentle kiss on their lips. Intensify the kiss once they wake up.

Vacuum Kissing: While in an open mouth kiss, suck in deeply so that your sucking the air from your partner.

French - Kiss that involves the mingling of tongues. This kiss has many art forms.

- Cold (Ice) Kiss: Suck on an ice cube, then do a french kiss.
- Melting Kiss: Variation, pass an ice cube back and forth while french kissing.
- Glow-stick Frenzy: Pass the mini-glowstick back and forth.
- Candy Kiss: Use either a jolly rancher or some other hard candy or mint. Either you or your partner place the candy in your/their mouth and then its like a game of keep away. Whoever starts tries to keep the candy in their mouth while the other person tries to get it in theirs. But you can only use your tongue and lips.

Tongue Sucking: When you have the chance to get really deep into your partner's mouth, suck on their tongue as far as you can. Dont suck too hard; you dont want to hurt your partner.

Name Kiss: Spell your name with your tongue in your partner's mouth.

Tongue Wars: Each person tries to get their tongue into the other person's mouth while the other person tries to get their tongue in your mouth. Each person "blocks" the other persons tongue with theirs.

The Tickle Kiss: In this kiss make use of the fact that the roof of the mouth is the most ticklish part of the body. While doing a normal french kiss, stroke your tongue across the roof of each other's mouth. You can make this into a game by whoever can stand it the longest without pulling away.

StarBurst Trick: Put a starburst in your mouth, and while french kissing try to unwrap it.

Marathon Kissing: See how long you can kiss for.

Sigh Kiss: When you first start kissing your partner, gently lick their lips with the tip of your tongue, then blow or sigh into their lips.

Cordial Kiss: Take a sip of your favorite drink, either alcohol or something sweet, and then when your lips meet pour the drink into your partner's mouth. Take only a very small sip.

Upside-Down Kiss: Self-explanitory

Vampire Kiss (aka hickey): Sucking and biting hard anywhere on the body. Please use with caution.

Suck Kissing: This can be a very seductive type of kiss. Instead of french kissing with your mouths open, while your partner's lips are parted suck on their top or bottom lip with your own, just for a second or two, then go back to another type of kissing or try the other lip.

Butterfly Kissing: Put your eye really close to your partners cheek/lips and flutter your lashes on their skin.


The Bad Type of Kissing:

The Roto Rooter: Their tongue ventures so far down your throat that it actually begins to choke you.

The Swordfish: They operate their tongue much like a swordfish uses it's snout, in a blunt and violent manner.

The Deep Sea Diver: They rarely come up for air.

The Lizard: Their tongue darts in and out of your mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim.

Frozen in Time: They never change the position, posture or angle of their head. It is as if they have mastered kissing cryogenics.

The Wrecking Ball: They kiss like a battering ram.

Nick-o-Teen: Kissing them is like licking the contents of a dirty ash tray. When you're done, you feel like taking a shower.
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Old 09-03-2009, 07:04 PM   #2
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When?
When you feel both you, and her, would be comfortable kissing. Also, do it in a private place...I mean, it's not romantic or ANYTHING like that when you kiss in front of alot of people. Just, wait til you guys are alone. It becomes more...personal.

Where?
Somewhere when you guys are alone...and, with the lights lower would be nice (not pitch black, but ya know what I mean?) But, the lighting isn't necessary...just make sure you guys are alone.

How?
Well...this is the longer part of my post...

First off...relax. If you don't relax...your screwed. A kiss isn't THAT big of a deal. So just, be calm. This is one of the KEY things to have a great first kiss.

EYES- Have them open until your lips meet. If you don't...hazards could arise. So, don't close your eyes until your lips meet. That doesn't mean have them WIDE open...just make sure you can see the destination of your lips.

BREATHING- Your nose is your key access to oxygen. Just...REMEMBER to breathe. You may get caught up in the kiss and forget to breathe. It happens...and this is where relaxing comes in. If you relax...then, breathing isn't that big of a deal.

TONGUE- When to put your tongue in, you ask? Well, as you're reading this...stick your tongue out. Then, wrap your lips around your tongue...and then without moving your lips, slip your tongue back into your mouth. This is the minimum your mouth can be open to slip your tongue in their mouth. Whenever it feels right, slip your tongue in their mouth. Also, when your tongue IS in their mouth...be creative with your mouth! Continous circles...are BORING! Do something creative with your tongue...draw letters, your name, their name, draw pictures...ANYTHING! Play with the other tongue...tickle the roof of their mouth...SOMETHING! The more creative...the better if feels on their side. Also...do NOT shove your tongue down their throat! I have experienced this...it feels like a GIANT EEL RAPING YOUR MOUTH!! Dear god...just DO NOT DO THAT!

LIPS- Courtesy of steffy-bee...I learned this. Right now, move your lips so it looks like you're saying the word "LOVE". That's how your lips are supposed to move while you're kissing (thanks steffy-bee!)

SALIVA- SWALLOW IT!! If you don't, it'll be on the outside of your lips...and it'll be like kissing a slobbery DOG! Yuck...and, your partner will be INCREDIBLY turned off by this. So, swallow the saliva...theirs, yours, anyone elses...SWALLOW IT!! lol

HANDS- It's just like a big hug. Hold them close to you. If you're a girl...you would just wrap your arms around his neck. Play with his hair then, or kind run your fingers around his neck/back...feels good. Guys...put one arm around her waist, and one around her upper waist...and just hold her close.
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