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Old 02-10-2009, 09:39 PM   #1
lessia
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Default Emails from my boyfriend's past

Hi everyone,
I feel awful.
I'm 20 and have been seriously dating my boyfriend for 1.5 years.
2 months before we started going out he broke up with his ex who he'd been dating for a little over a year.
I love my boyfriend very much but I found an email he sent his ex (when they were still going out) It was a love letter and contained a lot of phrases I've heard him say to me.
They don't keep in contact but is it wrong that I feel upset that he's used these lines before?
I've had ex's and can honestly say that I've never felt with them what I feel now with my bf. Why do his messages to his ex sound so much like what we have? I don't like the idea of him having loved someone as he loves me. I think that if we're going to be together, he must feel something different from all the others. right?
I don't know what to do or to confront him about it.
please please help.
-Lessia
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:47 PM   #2
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Hey lessia...

For whatever it's worth, here's my humble opinion:

You've only been with him for 2 months. Maybe he needs time to get into that 'zone'. The more things you do together, the more you will have 'special' memories, and that in itself may stir more creative things for him to say to you...

again...I'm a heartbroken mess, so maybe I'm way off base.
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Old 02-10-2009, 09:54 PM   #3
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no no,, he started going out with me 2 months AFTER they broke up but we've been going out for 1 year and a half since then
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Old 02-10-2009, 11:00 PM   #4
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Sorry, Lessia...I misread it...(kind of like I do with my ex.)

Well...maybe you should talk to him abuot it. Be careful how you broach the subject though...he may have issues with you reading his email.

Best of luck!!
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Old 02-11-2009, 12:36 AM   #5
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yeah why were you checking his email? has he given you a reason not to trust him? for honestys sake, i would talk to him about it but then again he will be very angry with you for looking through his old emails, especially his personal ones.

you cant help what he and his past girlfriend now, and if you feel likes hes totally re-using lines with you, if they are just lines to him, then i would ask him about it... but for the most part, i think theres only a few ways you can even tell someone the same way you feel, and he did feel tha tway, but hes with you now and thats all that matters
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Old 02-11-2009, 01:15 AM   #6
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yeah..I was gonna ask WHY/How you came about his e-mail??

I would let it go. How is your relationship..besides this??
He can't help he has loved before you. The past is the past, but sometimes people have patterns or ways of expressing themselves that they are comfortable with. It doesn't mean he still loves her. You are different women and I'm sure eventhough the words may sound the same, I'm sure he feels differently...because YOU are different, right??

I wouldn't worry about it too much...unless there are other things going on, ya know??
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Old 02-11-2009, 02:02 AM   #7
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We all learn from our past mistakes, and then move on - especially when it comes to relationships.

Heck, I am guilty as charged when it comes to those. Prior to marrying my wife, I had gone out with others in the past. Every new girl I was with, I tossed away things that flopped, and had applied the successes and positive experiences from the past. Yes, that included pick-up lines and "sweet" nothings. One thing I am proud of is that I never cheated on any one of my ex-gfs - not a single one.

If I were you, I would let this go as lisa had already mentioned. You'd been together for 2 years, and he hasn't been in contact with her - as per your post. His relationship with this girl - whatever that may be - was so yesterday. Some things are better left in the past, and this "thing" that he had with his ex is one of them.

You're with him now. Focus on the good times you have with him in the here and now, and may you have memorable moments to come that's worth cherishing. Good luck.
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Old 02-11-2009, 05:24 PM   #8
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Welcome to ATLF, glad that you joined us here.

I have to agree with all the parts that the other members have given to you. He has a past & as such he would have an ex girlfriend, he may have felt what he told her at 1 time, but for whatever reason it didn't work out as she is his EX & he is with you now for over a year as well.

I would concentrate on your relationship with him & know that he loves you.
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