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Old 01-05-2012, 10:25 PM   #1
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I am a 21 year old mechanical engineering student/military pilot in training

Last month, a church that my stepfather goes to, went on a mission trip. I went along thinking of it as a good life experience and never thought that i would chalk it up as anything more than that. There were more girls than guys on the trip and i do flirt whenever i can, but there was one girl who i had not talked to previously before the trip (i assumed she was a typical pretty face, which i think are a dime a dozen), but boredom would drive me to talk to her on the bus one day, and i found out what a gem she really is. She is extremely independent, smart, loves the outdoors, and the only woman that has ever called my bluff successfully when i flirted. We talked about camping, hunting, fishing, and horseback riding (her four favorite things) and her dream of going to Alaska to go fishing one day (which i have done). She's very confident and placed 2nd in state in rifle marksmanship in a class that included everyone (i want to design weapons in the future, so this dosen't intimidate me at all). Since the trip, she has been all that i can think about. I thought she was pretty before, but now think of her as some Goddess descended to earth (as corny as it sounds). Traditionally, i am a 'there's plenty of fish in the sea' kind of guy, but after realizing that a person like her exists, i know deep down that i cannot settle for anyone less than her. I have always been extremely shy and as a result never had a real relationship, i worked up the courage to ask her out only for her to say she dosen't believe in dating, but rather 'courting'... i have no idea what this means, and my only hint is from a websters definition- not helpful. i want to do what ever i can to be with her, but i have no idea what that is.
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Old 01-06-2012, 05:53 AM   #2
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I believe she wishes to spend more time with you, and therefore decide for herself if you are suitable to be with, my advice is to be patient, try getting to know her on a level where you can ensure her, that you only like her for who she is and your intention is to love and care for her and not simply their to have sex with her, also try to learn about her past experiences in relationship, that can be an advantage in understanding her position

In addition courting couples state up front that their intentions are to see if the other person is a suitable potential marriage partner. Courtship advocates claim that courtship allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a more platonic setting without the pressures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view.

Good Luck,
Bennie Hubbard

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Old 01-06-2012, 12:07 PM   #3
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Welcome to ATLF, glad that you joined us here.

Have you looked up what "courting" means online?

I think she may want to get to know you slowly, maybe start out as friends & work her way up to a relationship.
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Old 01-07-2012, 05:53 AM   #4
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Yeah i know the official definition of courting, but i just don't know how. i've never had any fear of commitment and i never saw a point in dating someone for sex or with no thought of marriage (it's self destructive in my own opinion). she lives a pretty good distance away, so randomly visiting or something of that nature would be difficult. my friend is the one who spilled the beans about me liking her (she randomly started texting me that night and asked me about it, so i came clean and asked her out [not a text but an actual phone call]) and that's when we started talking by texting. texting is nice, but just having some face time would be great, i excel at reading a portraying emotion, and it simply can't be done in a text. I just don't know how i can see her without her considering it a "date"
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Old 01-09-2012, 12:44 PM   #5
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Well, you could always not label it a "date". Just ask her for coffee or to see a movie, but no pressure of a date, just you 2 hanging out, enjoying a movie or something together in a friendly way.
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