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Alternative Lifestyle A forum for anyone in an "alternative lifestyle" (gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, etc.). A place where you can ask questions and get advice without judgement.

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Old 04-20-2008, 07:11 PM   #1
NandaDevi
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Default Nudists, questions ????

I've been seeing this guy who is obsessed with nudism. I am not comfortable with his "ideas" if nudity and wanted to get other's opinions on this.
* The guy is always talking about being nude, walks around the house nude, goes outside (in clear view of neighbors) nude, I can understand wanting to be comfy at home but here is where I begin to think the guy is just weird and off.
*He tells about times in his past where he got a hard on looking at females while sunning out at some hot spring.
* Then he talks about looking at the nude women and makes comments about their bodies, I am VERY turned off by this !!!!!
*Another time, he talked about some guy who began masterbating at a hot spring and then he joined right in with that other guy.
* He wants to be nude and set up his massage table and give massage in the nude.
* anywhere we plan on going, there has to be some spring or lake so he can be nude.
* He wants to hike in the nude.
His conversation about all this just feels creepy and perverted, he just puts too much emphasis on being nude, a very sexual emphasis rather on just being natural, it is just his incessant talk about the subject!!!!
I want to make it clear that I am not a prude, I enjoy swimming ala natural but not around other people, I want my privacy. I am just not into "flaunting" myself around a bunch of random strangers.
Just curious what you all think? believe? Please ask questions if you need clarification!
Thanks, Nanda
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Old 04-20-2008, 07:56 PM   #2
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Well if it's his choice that he wants to be nude..then I don't think you can get at him about it as it's the person he is..I don't understand the whol nudism thing personally, but it is the way that some people are.
Does he ask you to be nude all the time..does he make you feel like you must when you don't want to?..
If you are not happy with the way he is so open about being nude then maybe he isn't the man for you. This doesn't make you a bad person. I would not be comfortable with it either if I am truthful.
Talk to him and see if he is willing to tone it down for you..but if this is the way he is and you can't accept it then maybe he isn't the guy for you and you should move on.

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Old 04-20-2008, 09:00 PM   #3
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well personally i wouldnt be okay with all the nudism and such, to me it just turns me off that he is looking at so many other naked bodies and stuff. yeah you can ask him to tone it down around you, if only around you, but if he says no its his right and stuff, you have to respect who he is BUT also respect who you are and maybe that relationship is just not right for you and break it off...
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Old 04-20-2008, 10:12 PM   #4
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I'm in agreement with the ladies who posted before me. He really shouldn't be nude out in public as that can cause a whole host of legal issues. If you haven't ask him to tone it down a bit.

If he doesn't as stated before me, then it might be time to think about your relationship with him. You don't want to always be uncomfortable around him, that isn't grounds for a healthy or happy relationship.
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:13 AM   #5
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Thank you for responding, it totally makes sense about the whole comfort issue and that he is who he is! Yes, I have pretty much decided we are not compatible which is a shame cause on so many other levels we are. I am not at all comfortable about his desire to be staring at younger-skinier young women, this is the part which separates nudism from what I construe as "cheating", openly lusting for another!!!! yuck :-(
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Old 04-21-2008, 04:04 AM   #6
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i totally agree, i wouldnt want my boyfriend lusting after another woman, and you deserve to not be jealous and worried all the time! so i think in the long run its a better choice
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Old 04-21-2008, 12:40 PM   #7
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Yeah openly lusting after another woman can be construed as cheating. The more he looks though, the more the temptation is for him to want to go further. As Aussie said, you don't need that kind of frustration, you shouldn't have to feel jealous, angry, sad etc., in your relationship all the time. That's not what relationships are about & obviously this guy your with doesn't understand that or possibly care.
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