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Should I have ended the relationship? - Relationship, Dating Forums, Advice on Love
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Broken Heart - Breaking Up Have you had your heart broken? Are going through a break up, divorce? Come on by & share with us, we are here to help.

View Poll Results: Make up or break up
Keep trying, it could be worth it. 2 66.67%
Leave her alone ***hole! 1 33.33%
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Old 01-15-2012, 09:34 AM   #1
simplesimon
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Default Should I have ended the relationship?

I have just ended a relationship with my girlfriend of 3 months. 24 hrs later and I feel like I've made the wrong decision.
I could have quite happily continued the relationship until she mentioned the L word. I knew it was coming but still wasn't prepared. The problem is I don't think my feelings for her are as strong as hers are for me. Is this even a problem? Isn't this likely to be the same scenario many people face?
After hearing 'I love you', and not feeling the same, I had a think to myself and considered breaking up. My reasoning being that if she loves me and continues to plan a future, I could be making things harder if I don't ever get to where she is and finish the relationship later.
Before I could think things through properly, my girlfriend realized something was up and was looking for answers. Next thing I know, I've told her I want to finish it. She suggested time apart or seeing each other less often but I stuck to the idea that I'd just be prolonging the inevitable. She cried, I cried. I felt terrible and still do.
Can feeling like this simply be feeling lonely and missing the company? It certainly feels like more than that just now. I've been on the receiving end of a break up with a woman I was head over heels in love with; this feels similar to then.
Maybe I do have strong feelings for her but wasn't open to ' falling in love', whatever that is.
So, do I leave her alone and accept I've made a right but hard decision?
Or maybe we could try to work things out.
I wish I'd had another 24 hrs to think things through before blurting out my thoughts.
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Old 01-16-2012, 01:19 PM   #2
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Welcome to ATLF, glad that you joined us here!

It sounds like maybe you didn't share the same feelings that she did for you, for her until you broke up with her.

Do you think if you 2 were to get back together, but maybe slow down seeing each other that your feelings would be stronger for her?

If you don't think so, then I suggest you leaving her be & start to put yourself back together & move on.

Because if you think your feelings won't change or grow more, then it's not fair to your ex to be with someone that isn't "in love" with her as she would be with him.
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Old 01-26-2012, 12:46 PM   #3
JeremiahBae
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I was in a relationship for a whole year with someone who felt more strongly about me than I did for them...It feels restricting and wrong...you've done the right thing dude, keep strong and don't seem contradictory...not cool...
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