How do you deal with loneliness after a breakup?

[Billie2008]

How do you deal with the after math of a break up?

You spent so much time with that person, your life revolved around that person, making plans around them, neglating your hobbies to make them centre of attention, and then suddenly, its gone.

How do you guys deal with this? Many people have different ways, doing new stuff, going back to old hobbies, going on a rebound.

For me it is meeting all my old friends again, and going back out fishing in the lake, running, painting, playing guitar.

What about you guys?

[**Sapphire**]

Well when I had to deal with break-ups it was hard, but I did much of the same you are doing now.

Doing for myself, getting back in touch with who I was before the ex. Taking up hobbies, going out with friends/family & maybe making some new friends in the process.

[Billie2008]

How long did it take you to feel completley over him?

[**Sapphire**]

It took a bit, I'm not sure how long as it was a long time ago when I had my last break-up.

Everyone heals in their own time Billie. You may heal longer or shorter than another person that is going through something similar.

I think if you keep yourself busy, get yourself back on track, your healing will go pretty smoothly & before you know it you won't be missing her as much or hurting.

There will be always something or another that may trigger a memory of her, but it won't hurt like it may be now.

I still remember things from past ex's, some of the memories are good so I smile about them. While others have been bad memories which then make me a bit happy that I'm not longer with them.

[Billie2008]

I miss what we had. I do miss her in my life, she said she wanted to be friends, but didn't give me a time scale of how long that would take.

I think if we started talking again, I wouldn't view it as a possibly reunion, as thats not what she wants, and unless she wants to, I dont want to either. I've told her I'm ready to be friends, but she said she needed more time. I am giving her that time, and shes promised me when the time is right we'll be friends, its just that, A. I miss talking to her, we shared alot together B. There is still a friendship bond there.

I guess what I'm asking is.. Am I silly to think that we will be friends? When we split up she was the one who said she woul like to be friends eventually, but we needed time apart, and that she valued as me as one of her closest friends and won't me let me become a distant memory. Of course I agreed to this. It's been about a month now since we last spoke, and I miss speaking to her. Is there anything I can do? No? All I keep saying to myself is, she promised, gaurenteed me that when the time is right, she would get back in touch.

[Anonymous89]

Maybe you can try doing things you enjoy. I'm also currently dealing with my own heartbreak. A girl led me on for two years. It's almost one year since I have been trying to forget her and occasionally I still have triggers of sadness and anger whenever I think about her, but I try to keep myself occupied by doing things I enjoy.
It's also quite useful to meditate, since at this point of time, it tend to hurt a lot, so meditation can help you to regain your inner peace.

Hope my advice helps. =)

[Billie2008]

Thank you I have taken up some new things, fishing, spending time with my friends, going to the cinema. I'm alot happier than I was when we split, I just.. feel empty and don't want anyone else except her. Every girl will compare to her it feels. Thats the problem I seem to have now.

But thank you for your advice, and I may well try that

[Billie2008]

Well that wasnt nice. I had a dream lastnight, a quite clear one, of her saying to me "Billie, I've met someone else"

Now when we split, she said to me, I dont want to date anyone in a long while yet, and she just isnt interested in boys, we had a good relationship that when she is ready I would think she would come back to me, but I had this dream lastnight, and its really upset and me and shook me up.

[**Sapphire**]

Alot of times when people break-up it's final & they can't be friends afterwards.

I guess the ball is in your ex's court right now. Give her the time, if she says she will contact you then she will when it's right for her. Maybe by that time you will have made the decision that you don't want to be a friend OR it will be that much easier for you to be friends with her & not hurt or miss what you 2 had in your relationship.

I think your subconscious could be in a little bit of over drive & that's why you had that dream last night. YOU may not be thinking she is going to be with anyone, but in your mind you could be & that's why you had that dream. Try to relax a bit before you go to bed, watch a TV show, read a good book, something that will take your mind away from her. Hopefully you won't have anymore dreams like that as it will only most likely upset you.

[Billie2008]

Thanks I fully trust what she siad to me about coming back as friend, again I can't really go into too much, but there are reasons why I fully trust her.

Part of me is scared she won't. I guess in time, I won't care, but because its not been too long, it's still fresh. I really hope she sticks to her word though, and I really hate having these dreams, its not the first one either, and its happended before, the sub-concious is a strange thing.