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View Full Version : Parents divorced, mom's new boyfriend, problem.


Bradthekillerman
12-20-2010, 05:24 PM
Hello, this is the first time i am posting to an English forum, sorry for my English it is not my first language. I can understand pretty nice but I can’t write too good.
My name is George I am 16 years old, I have a brother 12 years old. 4 years before my parents got divorced. They didn’t tell us the reason but they said that they wanted to do it years before but they were afraid that my brother would get hurt that’s why they waiting him getting older . We are living with my mother, my father moved to another city (500 km from us) so we are seeing each other 2 or 3 times a year, he wasn’t really a good father and actually I wanted them to get divorced . 1 year after my parents broke up my mother introduced to us her new friend, he was a good man, he was playing with us, playstation, football, etc. And after some time he moved to our home and we lived together. But about 7 months later they broke up, I asked my mother why, but she didn’t tell me, she just said that they were actually different characters. Of course i didn’t liked this because i already thought, he was gonna be my new dad. He was also too close with me and my little brother. But I knew that it wasn’t my decision. Anyway about one and half year later my mother has introduced to us her new boyfriend, he was nothing like the previous. He weren’t play with us and we aren’t that close like we were with my mom’s ex-boyfriend. The good news are that he is rich, not that much of course but we are living in his house now, it’s bigger, this is the first time I am sleeping in my own room, I have pc, playstation, internet and everything else I want. The bad thing is the relationship with my step-dad, and that I left my old house and I can’t see my old friends now. Anyway, it is already a year and a few months that we are all living together. My mom and her fiancé are often go out at nights and spent their time like normal new pair. When they are in the house they are kissing each other all the time and having fun. One day when I came early form the school and I saw them in the balcony my mom is sitting in his laps and they were talking in a different way than they were when we (the kids) are home (you know what I mean), I pretend that I didn’t saw them. Anyway that wasn’t the problem because she did that kind of thing with her previous boyfriend and I can understand it. The problem is that one night about 22:00 I wanted to go to toilet near and I heard them having sex. I was shocked, I never wanted to heard something like that. I went back to my room and I was really angry but I couldn’t do anything about this. The next day I were in my room, and if I am absolutely quiet I am able hear them even from my room. I put my earphones and I am listening music very aloud. But sometimes I wanna sleep and I still hear them. I knew that every Friday and Saturday they will have sex. So I am trying to do anything else I can so I wouldn’t hear them. I know that is absolutely natural that they are having sex but I really don’t want to hear them. What should I do? Should I leave the house, and live with my father? I really don’t want to do that. Should I stay and pretend every night that I didn’t hear anything? I am very shy and I can’t speak to my mom for that kind of thing. So I m asking if that’s natural and everyone have to endure it in his life. Please help.

Bradthekillerman
12-20-2010, 11:21 PM
Noone in this forum?

darkstar
12-22-2010, 12:40 PM
man, it's perfectly natural that you don't want to hear them having sex. In fact, I think it's healthy that you don't. They're probably totally unaware that you can hear them. It would be crazy to leave though, just because of this. If you really can't work up the courage to mention it to your mother, then I would say, write her a letter. Tell her that you love her, and tell her you're shy about raising the issue, so you're putting it in writing. Say that you understand it's perfectly natural that they're having sex, but that you can hear it in your room and it bothers you. Tell her you don't want to leave but sometimes it's so hard that you do think about leaving. You should be able to come to an arrangement - either they'll be quieter, or you can maybe move to a room that's further away where you can't hear them? I think at your young age if you can open up the communication with your mother, then it will be very good for the future of your relationship with her. You really need to find the courage to let her know, either by talking to her, or sending her a letter like I said. You want to be able to talk to your own mother about pretty much anything, and it's not good for you or for her if you can't raise it. You don't want to do something as drastic as move out when it's a problem that maybe can be solved quite easily.

**Sapphire**
12-22-2010, 01:04 PM
Welcome to ATLF!

I agree with darkstar. I really don't have anything else to add to it than what he said. You really do need to find the courage to tell your mom either face to face or in a letter as he suggested.

She may not be aware of them being loud & with you letting her know she hopefully will quiet it down.

Bradthekillerman
12-22-2010, 01:34 PM
I am sure that my mom is unaware of this. But i really hate to write a note, because she would know that i know and i would be afraid of looking her eyes (you got my point).