What do I do about this?

[bluesky]

Alright well anyone who read my LDR story and my other heartbreak story kinda knows the deal...he was ignoring my IMs and emails and I pretty much tricked him into letting me know that he was in fact online so he couldn't ignore me.

From there we had the sort of "end" conversation which was mostly BS on his part, talking about how he had felt this way since "sunday" (when I know he was certain he just didn't love me when some other girl walked into his life, the stupid female-novice that he is).

Obviously I couldn't admit that to him but he acted like we'd be friends and email each other at work, yadda yadda, get through the boredom of work (really this was just my test to see if he'd actually try and be friends) he never emailed me, just him emailing the horse face girl all day. So now I realize I really didn't ever mean ****, despite whatever he may say or believe at the time.

Anyway my problem is, I KNOW HIS EMAIL AND FACEBOOK PASSWORDS. Deleting him doesn't help if I'm forever going to be tempted to just log into it myself. I haven't done so in days, and I'm proud of myself for that because I know it'd just make me feel 100x worse and I'd be back to square 1 but the temptation alone is torture.

I'm too embarrased to tell him I know his passwords and to change them, I really shouldn't care what that ******* thinks at this point but I can't help that I still do, so asking him to change it is out of the question, if I change it myself he'll know it was me (don't ask why but he'd know).

I want more than anything to not even be able to check his emails, I wish I could just forget this damn combination of numbers and letters but I can't!

I need to know what to do, I don't want the ability to ever look in on his life, EVER. I want to forget him and his empty words but this is the most horrible torture.

This may sound nuts but I am actually considering trying hypnotherapy to see if I can forget this password. I would do ANYTHING at this point to be rid of this anguish. Does anyone have any thoughts/creative ideas to help me out?

[**Sapphire**]

The best you can do bluesky is to try your hardest NOT to log in to his stuff with the passwords you know. It will get easier as time goes on. The longer you don't do it the easier it will get.

My best advice is to keep yourself busy with lots of different things. Going out with friends/family, hobbies etc.. That way your mind will be on what your doing, not on wanting to be online & checking his stuff out.

[bluesky]

Part of the problem is my mindlessly boring job that I sit in front of a computer for 8 hours. D:

I NEVER get on a computer when I'm at home. Or rarely.

[**Sapphire**]

Well maybe you can try to be a bit more busy at work. See if others need help, something to keep you a bit busier during your work hours??

I know about temptation at work. When my job wasn't as busy as it is now I would be online a whole lot. Now that it's gotten a whole lot busier, I'm not online nearly as much.

[AngelOfLove]

The best you can do bluesky is to try your hardest NOT to log in to his stuff with the passwords you know. It will get easier as time goes on. The longer you don't do it the easier it will get.

My best advice is to keep yourself busy with lots of different things. Going out with friends/family, hobbies etc.. That way your mind will be on what your doing, not on wanting to be online & checking his stuff out.

I completely agree with Sapphire. Distracting yourself will keep you away from doing such stuff. Its the best thing you can do :)

[lisa843]

just don't do it. I know that is simple and easier said than done, especially if you have that compulsion to do that. You have to be conscious of your choices and make sure you don't do this. It is kind of a destructive behavior that will only hurt you if you continue. Just let it go, let all that be in the past and move on. It's for the best. good luck and take care.