messed up big time

[hurtsoul1980]

I met my x almost 2 years ago and we fell in love very quick and i moved in (too early). I was a big drinker back then and done alot of stupid things and said alot of things that hurt her. I didnt mean to do these things but i did and eventualy i gave up drink all together until she showed me i could have a drink without having to get totaly out of it and not know what im saying or doing, things then were good between us for some time untill we moved house together. She believed i was cheating on her because i didnt give her enough atention. The problem was that we had no space between us apart from work, other than that we were together 24/7 which is probably why i didnt give her enough affectinn and we ended up arguing and eventualy split up. I moved back to my parents and started drinking and taking other things also, a month later i went over to her house to help her fix her lights, we went for a meal after and a drive, we ended up stopping the car for a hug then were all over each other, it felt amazing. So yeah we got back together and we decided i would stay at my parents still since we rushed things too much at the begining. Feelings had grown much stronger untill 1 nite she told me she had met a guy at work while we were apart and that she still fancied him and didnt know who she wanted to be with. This drove me crazy for days until she told me of course she would only want to be with me. But the damage had been done but i managed to put it aside.i started getting really close to her again until the weekend came, we met after work and she stayed at mine. The next day we made love for ages then went to my mates house and she invited them to come over to hers with us. I was in ruch a partY mood as was my mate that i went and bought a load of drink, again i got cnmpletly drunk and ruined the nite for my x, my self, my best m8 and his girl. I dont remember anything except getting in a taxi and going home. I woke up the next day and called her, she said she never wants to talk or see me again. I really messed up and now i miss her like mad. I have lost the best thing in my life all because of a stupid drink that i deeply regret.

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF hurtsoul1980, we are glad that you have joined us here. :)

Have you had a chance to talk to your ex since that night? Have you tried to apologize for whatever behavior you exhibited that night? If not, maybe send her a text or call her letting her know your sorry & that you would like to talk to her.

Depending on what happened or if she finally had that last straw with your drinking you may not be able to try again with her. That's all in if she will talk to you & if you 2 can salvage your relationship. First though you 2 have to talk if she will be want to talk to you.

[hurtsoul1980]

yeah we spoke but she said she wanted nothing to do with me ever again, i sent her a few texts after and even some sorry E-CARDS, she did reply by e-mail today but didnt say much but atleast she has had contact with me i guess thats a good sign

[**Sapphire**]

Well maybe give it a bit more time to let everything settle down on her end. Then maybe contact her, maybe even send her a long email of your sorry & see how things go from there.

That is a little plus that you have had some contact with her, don't push it for now, give her a little bit more time & then see how things go if she contacts you or when you contact her.