not sure how i feel

[babylove621]

well as i said in other posts me and my ex are still close and really good friends. And now he recently started dating this girl and im dating this guy that i love a lot. heres the thing it bothers me a little bit but i cant seem to figure out why. he hasn't asked her to be his girlfriend yet, but he talked to me about if first which is kool since were friends and he knows how i feel and i really want to be happy for him and a part of me is, but i wish it didnt bother me so much. i have a great guy that makes me happy, but still something inside is just idk. i told a few friends, exactly how i feel and they all keep saying the samething, "its because you're still in love with him and ur new guy just isn't him". or they keep saying "are you really asking why" like i should know why it bothers me, but i dont. i feel like everyone around me sees how i really feel, but its like i don't feel like im still in love with him, before this week i felt like i was over him. im not really sure what i feel. i don't know if im just afriad to admitt that yeh im still in love or yeh i still have feelings or what. i feel like he even sees how i really feel and thats why he wanted to talk to me before he asked her. i just have this feeling deep down inside that me and him just aren't done with each other. ive never felt this way after any other break up before, like it was totally done and i knew that, but with him its different. i know he doesnt want to be together now and we can't be together right now. i feel like even he feels this way deep down, hes even told me before that hes not completely over me and will always love me and always wants me in his life. idk im confused but has anyone ever had the same feeling before? this has been a hard week to begin with and now this is on top of it, my head is completely spinning with everything everyone has to say. i just need to vent everything out i cant hold it in anymore!!!

[**Sapphire**]

It could be a case of you aren't over him babylove. It could also be that because you & he keep in touch & also talk about things such as you posted it kind of keeps the "what if" questions going.

Do you deep down think that if you 2 were to get back together again if it would work out better this time around? Might be something to think about hun.

[babylove621]

if it was right now, im not sure it would but in the future i think it really would, the main reason why we broke up in the first place was bcos of distance and that caused all of our other problems. the more and more i keep think about my future, hes the one i see. i try not to but something inside cant help it.

[aussiecoffee007]

babylove, i just wanted to let you know i have kinda the same problem as you... my ex started dating my friend though, so, it still bothers me despite having a really good guy.

perhaps you just arent fully over him yet? how logn has it been since you two broke up? or maybe you didnt take the time to be fully apart before coming friends--perhaps you went from a relationship straight to friends i mean--which can be quite detrimental to getting over someone.

if you are thinking of him in teh future that way, perhaps its best to take a break from your boyfriend or something, just to figure out stuff.

[babylove621]

we broke about about 6 months ago, we did take a break before becoming friends, but im not sure our relationship is so weird, i asked him one time if he thinks we could ever get the spark back, n his exact words were i dont we ever lost it or our connection. anytime we talk everythin feels so right, i never ever have to worry about saying the wrong thing to him. its kinda like when i feel like noone else is gonna be there for me, he always always is and he still is, i can tell him everything, even stuff about my current guy. whos absolutely amazing and has completely become a better guy for me over the last few months, i love him so much, but i dont look at him as being my best friend too as i did with my ex. theres things that i just wouldn't tell him or even act certain ways around him. my ex knows everything, he can read me like a book and i know i can be a total dork around him. i wish my new guy was like that, hes learning but its still just not the same. i guess thats the part i miss most having my guy be a best friend too. i actually really feel like im falling for this guy too. idk lol i guess what they is true, you never really fully get over your first true love...

[aussiecoffee007]

okay, well i think its good you took a break first, sometimes if you rush into things the emotion level is too high and its harder to get over... at least thats what happened to me.

oh, so is he still interested or is he actually into this other girl? do you think he would do it just to make myou jealous?

who do you really envision yourself with? you mentioned your ex when you thought about the future... i woudl recognize that as maybe a sign you should take a break from your boyfriend to figure stuff out.

[babylove621]

honestly im not really sure whats on his mind right now, i think he really is into this girl, actually i know he is he told me straight up that he is. All he keeps telling me is to not focus on the future right now and just focus on the now, cuz hes sick of thinkin about the future lol hes right i do and i want to be happy right now, thats why i want to be with my current guy, cuz he does make me happy. maybe he is the right guy for me, or maybe hes just the right guy that i need right now, you know? all i keep thinkin is whatever is meant to be, will work out perfectly...

[aussiecoffee007]

maybe you should just tell him how you feel, to see if he legit likes this other girl or wants things to work out with you two.
so maybe it will happen in the future then? in that case, let it be... stay friends or if its too hard, maybe tell him its too hard to stay friends with him right now but you hope to "in the near future" hehe

[babylove621]

well i did tell him, he said he does love me more than anything but hes not in love with me right now, but that doesnt mean he wont always be and that he doesn't want to lose me. For now im just going to suck it up and stay friends with him and just focus on me and my guy right now, cuz even through all this crap were still actually really good. i get the feeling hes surprising me on valentines day so we'll see!!

[**Sapphire**]

What if you took a break in contacting your ex babylove? I'm not saying to totally say goodbye & break off your friendship. I'm thinking a little time from contact.

It seems to me that you are confused about him & your current boyfriend. I wonder if you & your ex didn't have contact for a little while if it would help your confusion. Maybe help you to concentrate a bit more on your current boyfriend & possibly anything that could be lacking in your relationship? Maybe it would help you to make a clearer decision on who you can see yourself with now & in the future?

[aussiecoffee007]

i think if nothing happens with this guy on vday then just do what sapphire says and take some time off.. i thnk it might help to focus your attention--and emotional attachemnt--to your current bf if thats where you want it at.

[babylove621]

ive actually decided to do that we haven't talked since yesterday afternoon which is actually big for us, theres a few times were i wanted to text him today, just cuz its a really hard day for me, for other reasons but i stopped myself, its just gonna be a day by day thing to get through it but i think i can do or at least try to lol i dont think hes even just the reason why im so confused, i think im just confused with my life in general right now. Ima be graduating from college next semester and im still not even exactly sure what i want to do with my degree and then theres family issues, so its just a combination of everything and i think it just all finally broke me down and made me start thinking about everything. thanks for all the advice, i tried talking to my friends but sometimes its just better to get advice from someone whos not right there to see it all. they all think its so simple, they all think me and my ex should just be together, but its not that simple, if thats not what he wants. i cant make him want to be with me, he has to figure it out himself, they just don't get it. until he figures it out i need to move on i cant wait for him for the rest of my life, im confident enough to know if we are suppose to be together then in the end all this mess will be cleaned up.

[**Sapphire**]

Very good babylove. I know it will probably be hard for you not to contact him, but I think it will help you.

Also, it will give you time for yourself & to figure out what you want to do now in your life.

If we can be of any help, you know we are all her for you. :)