Why are girls so possessive?

[lovebites]

Its very natural to be possessive in love. But I have observed that girls become more possessive. Is it there possessiveness or its just jealousy. Girls tend to become possessive when they see that their boyfriend is attracted towards someone else or is trying to flirt with someone else. Is it the guys fault or the girls should give guys more space?

[lovelovelove]

First off, it really depends on the age and how long you've been together. If you've been with someone a month, and your partner is flirting with someone else, I can see why they'd be posessive. Not to a psycho level though.

It's not only girls though. I was in a very long relationship in which women hit on my boyfriend every single time we left the house. No, I'm not joking. At first it bothered me a lot, but with time I realized that he flirted back a little, but always came over to me when they finished talking, and left with me at the end of the night. He on the other hand was always threatened by men flirting with me, and he used to get possessive and jealous.

[audreycsmith]

Men make us that way. They hit on us, make us fall in love with them, and then think they are an open door to every women that they talk to, especially if the woman looks and sounds hot.

Men that were breastfed, never forget that tool that they sucked on. It is mother nature at work for the rest of their life. So, when they have a woman, especially a good one, they can't just settle for that. They will go after all that is out there, and carries that tool. They may love you, but they think that they can also love as many woman as they want to. You do everything for them. You are dedicated, turning down dates, and you are single. You work hard for this individual, yet you must stay on the back burner, if the male is married. You await for them to come and see you. Your whole life is centered around this male. No wonder you become possessive.

And, in the end, you lose anyway. They are gone to someone else, or return to loves that past. You can't win. The more possessive you are, the more they do to hurt you, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly.

The best you can do, is do what the Jone's do. Save yourself, forget the possessiveness, and let him alone if he doesn't act right the first time he messes up.

Sincerely,

Audrey C. Smith

[Neo_Geisha]

Men are by nature polygamists. I don't like it and I don't agree with it, but that is the way that they are. It is in their genes. As humans have evolved and fought evolution to become monogomous in relationships, it has created a lot of strain. Men still have this ingrained desire to have multiple women and to "spread their seed". Women are competitive. They want to be the primary woman. So, if they are in a commited relationship with a man, there is going to be that natural urge to become posessive due to subconsious confusion. I am not saying that either gender is right or wrong. I just think that it is something that everyone should be aware of. I am all for monogomy and I think if someone makes that commitment, man or woman, that it needs to be obided by. Our genetics are not an excuse, just an explanation.

On another note... some women are worse than others and some men are worse than others...

example A: Man who flirts and checks out 99% of women wether his g/f, wife, whoever, is there or not. His SO gets posessive. She has every right to be, it is rude.

example B: A man who shows his SO unconditional affection and love but she is still outright posessive. She needs to re-evaluate what she is doing.

If you are a guy who is flirting with other girls and curious as to why your g/f is posessive... I think it is fairly obvious as to why.

[Tuxie]

Oh c'mon guys... not ALL men are like this! And I'm a little frustrated that you've grouped all men together like this. My girl is tuxgal, I don't need anyone else. I don't like it when we have members come on here and stereotype women, and I think the same should apply with stereotyping the men.

I realize, there are some men this way. On the other hand, there are women this way also. Let's not let a few 'bad apples' spoil the whole basket. :)

[Tuxgal]

Sorry, ladies...I agree with my love. I know all too well that some men out there like to flirt around or "gawk" at other women. But since meeting Tuxguy I've seen not every man is that way. There are some good men out there. I don't honestly think they are polygamous by nature. But say they are...we as humans have free will. They can choose not to act in such a manner. Audrey - we all need to take responsibility for own own actions and emotions not blame it on others IMO.

[smackie9]

I agree with Tuxguy. Guys are not all dirty dogs out there. If a guy you are with starts flirting with other women, he doesn't respect you. That's right....it's all about respect. It is a quality that is a must in any relationship.

And yes there is the caveman theory about men just out to procreate the world because it's programmed into their genes. But did you know that for women, it's programmed into our genes to find a mate that can take care of us, and then go out and mate with another man that has the best genetic makeup .;) So we aren't all that pure and innocent either lol!

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah it depends on the level of flirting. some girls get ****** when their guys go and talk to other girls, which is a bit overpossessive, but some guys do much more (and show the girl complete DISRESPECT) and then say its the girls fault for being so overprotective.

but one thing youve got to remember--when girls are jealous, its because we are afraid of getting hurt. the more jealous, the more we love you. (if that makes any sense)... we care about the people we are possessive of--because we care the MOST about losing THEM. so just keep that in mind as your girlfriend is yelling at you over it, but there is a line of course (much like with everything in relationships :) )