COLMCGIN
09-13-2006, 02:51 PM
Hello to everyone~
I just need some opinions and advise on my relationship. I ask family and friedns but they all seem to be bias and I'm not sure if I can trust my own heart. I love him dearly.
I have been dating my BF for 6 months now. We started out as really good friends (me always wanting more) but waiting for him to come around. In the beginning we spent every weekend together but also spent these weekends with his brother and sister in-law. We never had any alone dates. I was tolerant of this because he ws so nice to me otherwise. In the beginning he would tell me things like hewasnt sure if i was the one and right for him but he wanted to give me a shot since i had so many qualities he liked...
Fast forward a little. He finally decided he wanted to commit and apologizes almost daily for all he did to me in the beginning. Only problem was that by the time he made this great realization I had gotten a little tired of his constant contradictions...one minute he would tell me i was the best ever and he loved next he would tell me he was unsure and needed time. Well, by the time he realized i was the worth comitting to i decided i was tired of what i called the "games" so i broke up with him. This is when he decided that he couldn't live unless he was with me and pulled some pretty crazy stunts n order to win me back.
I decided to give him another chance and get over the past. I thought that ws only fair sonce he started stating that he couldn't live his life without me. It seemed like everything was going along really great. We have so much fum together and feel like we are each other's best friends.
Next bump in the road...we found out his company would be sending him to Japan for 5 months. Of course we are both sad but he has asked me and i have agreed that we will remain comitted while he is gone...We think this a great enough love to last.
He continues to tell me how much he needs me, he plans our future, talks of our children together, even looked at house plans with me...
No here is where I am confused...BTW we are both 24. We were at the mall last weekend. He starts heading in jewelry store. I stress, ALL on his own...no urging from me. We begin looking at engagement rings. We spent about an hour in this one store. We picked out a ring we both liked the sales lady wrote down all the info and we left the store. Of course being a girl I was excited and emotional. It is very meaningful to try on rings with the man you love and see your fututre with. On the way out to the car he tells me how pretty I am and that he loved seeing me so happy in there...I start crying. He hugs me sets me down in the car kneels down and says: " I don't want to get engaged yet though. I am unsure about how you will react while I am gone and want to wait until I get back from Japan." I felt like i had been slapped. I felt like he dangled this carrot in front of me just to tell me I couldn't have it. I alomost felt like he was bribbing me to be a "good girl" while he ws gone and i would be awarded.
I pointed out to him that my love has always been the steadfast one. I have always maintained that i love him more than myself from the beginning. I have given up events with my family to spend time with his. I have held his hadnd while he had some emotional problems and I even acceotted the fact that he talked to other girls in the beginning of our relationship. He said he had never stopped and thought about how much I must have loved him to tolerate all his odd actions. He has apologized repeatedly but nothing else has been said about an engagement before he leaves.
I almost feel like if he doesn't propose I should leave. I feel like how can he say that i am his world and his everything but not want to make that kind of promise to me. I feel like if i don't walk he will feel like he can control me forever but I do love him very much and it kills me to think of my life without him. I just feel like he has really disresected me with this last display....
PLEASE help...What do you think...I'm so hurt and confused
I just need some opinions and advise on my relationship. I ask family and friedns but they all seem to be bias and I'm not sure if I can trust my own heart. I love him dearly.
I have been dating my BF for 6 months now. We started out as really good friends (me always wanting more) but waiting for him to come around. In the beginning we spent every weekend together but also spent these weekends with his brother and sister in-law. We never had any alone dates. I was tolerant of this because he ws so nice to me otherwise. In the beginning he would tell me things like hewasnt sure if i was the one and right for him but he wanted to give me a shot since i had so many qualities he liked...
Fast forward a little. He finally decided he wanted to commit and apologizes almost daily for all he did to me in the beginning. Only problem was that by the time he made this great realization I had gotten a little tired of his constant contradictions...one minute he would tell me i was the best ever and he loved next he would tell me he was unsure and needed time. Well, by the time he realized i was the worth comitting to i decided i was tired of what i called the "games" so i broke up with him. This is when he decided that he couldn't live unless he was with me and pulled some pretty crazy stunts n order to win me back.
I decided to give him another chance and get over the past. I thought that ws only fair sonce he started stating that he couldn't live his life without me. It seemed like everything was going along really great. We have so much fum together and feel like we are each other's best friends.
Next bump in the road...we found out his company would be sending him to Japan for 5 months. Of course we are both sad but he has asked me and i have agreed that we will remain comitted while he is gone...We think this a great enough love to last.
He continues to tell me how much he needs me, he plans our future, talks of our children together, even looked at house plans with me...
No here is where I am confused...BTW we are both 24. We were at the mall last weekend. He starts heading in jewelry store. I stress, ALL on his own...no urging from me. We begin looking at engagement rings. We spent about an hour in this one store. We picked out a ring we both liked the sales lady wrote down all the info and we left the store. Of course being a girl I was excited and emotional. It is very meaningful to try on rings with the man you love and see your fututre with. On the way out to the car he tells me how pretty I am and that he loved seeing me so happy in there...I start crying. He hugs me sets me down in the car kneels down and says: " I don't want to get engaged yet though. I am unsure about how you will react while I am gone and want to wait until I get back from Japan." I felt like i had been slapped. I felt like he dangled this carrot in front of me just to tell me I couldn't have it. I alomost felt like he was bribbing me to be a "good girl" while he ws gone and i would be awarded.
I pointed out to him that my love has always been the steadfast one. I have always maintained that i love him more than myself from the beginning. I have given up events with my family to spend time with his. I have held his hadnd while he had some emotional problems and I even acceotted the fact that he talked to other girls in the beginning of our relationship. He said he had never stopped and thought about how much I must have loved him to tolerate all his odd actions. He has apologized repeatedly but nothing else has been said about an engagement before he leaves.
I almost feel like if he doesn't propose I should leave. I feel like how can he say that i am his world and his everything but not want to make that kind of promise to me. I feel like if i don't walk he will feel like he can control me forever but I do love him very much and it kills me to think of my life without him. I just feel like he has really disresected me with this last display....
PLEASE help...What do you think...I'm so hurt and confused