View Full Version : I Need some Advice Please
07-22-2006, 10:06 PM
hey ive been dating this girl for a year ( well next week would of made it a year). I was her 1st love and basically her 1st bf. She recently broke up with me about to days ago. she told me that she is 16 (Im 19) and she didnt want to be tied down on a realationship and also because she wanted to see what else it out there. she still loves and cares about me alot she said. and she still wants to be my friend and all but it just hurts im inside if she ever found a new man. I mean she always used to say that nothing would get inbetween us and that we wernt meant for each other and then I day it all changes. I could use some advice on what to do about this situation because I cant get her out of my head and ive been really depressed lately. Some of my friends are sayin just give her time and she will come back to you. Is that true? how would I go on about doing that?
I know it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel when you're in the dark, I've had 2 major heartbreaks in my life and it seemed as if my world was crumbling on me, but once you get through it, you realize that you're not that fragile and it only makes you stronger.
Respect her decision you 2 are still very young, and even though you can't imagine this now there will be others....this advice is going to suck and sound cliche but it's sooooo true, the only thing that mends a broken heart is TIME....so in the meanwhile try and keep yourself busy, go out, hang out w/ your friends (that's the most helpful advice), whatever it takes to keep yourself preoccupied!!
07-30-2006, 04:04 PM
Yea, I would venture to say by your age that this maybe your first true heartbreak. Time does help and unless you're very lucky, you may find yourself mending a broken heart again in your life. I've had my heartbroken so many times I've lost count, but I've never given up, never gotten jaded, and always remained hopeful.
There is an old saying that says, "If you love something, set it free... if it comes back to you it's yours, if it doesn't, then it never was." This probably doesn't help, but I think it might be better for your girlfriend to be free for awhile. I have always said that I would never want to marry a virgin. While it would have been very romantic and sweet to have married my first love, I've come to the conclusion that in this day and age it would be better for my true love to have had her chance to explore the world and date other men, because then she would know and would have seen what the world has to offer, so that when she finally came to me... she would see me as the best and would have a frame of reference to make this judgement.
If my lover had never been with another man I think that over time she might begin to wonder about such things. She might wonder if what we have is all there is or if what we have is the best or if there is something better. Her wondering could turn to wandering, even if only to satisfy her wonder. I would rather she wonder and wander before we committed, rather than do so after many years of marriage.
This doesn't mean I want a woman who has been around the block several times, but I do want a woman who has experienced life and love and has settled with me, because she sees me as the best and the best for her.
None of this probably helps you at all, but you're so very young and even though it may feel like your chance at love and happiness has been dashed... trust me... you will feel it again and receive it again and next time it will be even better.
It maybe too difficult to remain friends with your gf, especially if she begins dating or seeing other guys, so you might want to think hard about that. Of course remaining friends does keep some hope alive that the two of you may find your way back to each other, so that maybe something to consider as well. Prolonging the agony can be hard and sometimes it is best to make a clean break, recover, and find love again, which I promise you that you will...
08-01-2006, 11:31 AM
Yeh i still do talk talk to her. she Broke up with me about 2 wks ago. she usually calls me in the mornings and when she ges to bed. Its weird though because shes been telling me how shes been crying herself to sleep and that she misses everyting about us but yet she dosent want it back? she been saying shes not gonna find a new man and all this. for example she called me last night and was all depressed and everything. so i was like u need to get over me and move on, and she was like i cant. all guys are assholes blah blah blah. so idk what to do anymore I never call her or anything I just give her the space she wanted and let her call me when she wants to.
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