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View Full Version : Absotively Posilutely, It's A Nuclear Powered Wombat Egg!


Myzyri
08-03-2007, 10:12 AM
Howdy all...

I'm Myzyri... From Chicago, Illinois... Sapphire invited me over from another board...

While I occasionally request advice, I'm usually the one giving it.

As for my advice style, I'm very straight-forward and blunt. I don't like to "beat around the bush" because that often leaves things open for alternate interpretation. Beyond that, I don't coddle anyone asking for advice because you're here for a straight answer to a problem. I can offer support, but if you're an idiot about something you've done, you'll hear about it (but I'll also give you ideas on how to get yourself out of whatever hole you've dug). Additionally, I have a pretty strange sense of humor; it's sometimes plain funny, silly, dark, sarcastic, twisted, or just plain "off the friggin' wall."

Next, I typically don't give out much personal information about myself unless you're an admin who wants some details or you become an online buddy. The reason behind it is bias. If I told you I was 50, on my third marriage, had four kids, and grew up in an orphanage, it might make some people biased in that a 14 year old kid having problems with his parents might think, "What's this old geezer know about having parents and being my age?! He's old and probably can't remember to tie his diaper on let alone remember what it was like to be a Freshman in high school!" On the flip side, If I said I was 16, the older crowd might not take me seriously because, "Bah! What's this stupid kid know about being married and having kids?!" So, I like to stay a bit more anonymous for those reasons.

Next, I must apologize for my mantras in advance... My most popular is proving that guys and girls can't be friends because one will inevitably fall for the other... So, if they're dating, leave them alone! If they're single, just ask them out and save yourself the aggravation of having to ask us how to tell her without losing the relationship if it doesn't pan out... I have others, but this is the one you'll hear about most often...

So, if you like your advice head-on and your humor a bit sick and twisted, I think you'll enjoy having me around...

Anyway, I hope I can help out here and I'll see you in the threads!
Myz

P.S. I love screwing with "trolls!" Those usually get me working at my comedic best... Hey, you ever notice how trolls always break out the "You're all a bunch of Nazis" comments whenever they start losing?

Penguin_Woman
08-03-2007, 10:16 AM
Welcome to ATLF, Myzyri. Your reputation preceeds you. lol We're glad to have ya' on board. :)

Myzyri
08-03-2007, 10:19 AM
WTF?! My reputation preceeds me!?!?! What?! Who's been talkin' about me!?!!

*looks around for my baseball bat muttering "sum-body gunna lose a kneecap..."*

:p

Penguin_Woman
08-03-2007, 10:21 AM
You ain't goin' near Sapphire with that baseball bat. lol I'm not called wolf girl for nothin'. lol :)

~Teej~
08-03-2007, 10:23 AM
Hee Hee...I like you...I think you are going to fit in just fine here :D

Myzyri
08-03-2007, 10:26 AM
You ain't goin' near Sapphire with that baseball bat. lol I'm not called wolf girl for nothin'. lol :)

OK, then what about me just giving Sapphire a spirited spanking followed by scented oils, warming gels, a massage, some peanut butter, a few cucumber slices, and a pickle wrapped in turkey slices? (She'll have to supply her own dog for the peanut butter... But I'll supply the web cam.)

Myzyri
08-03-2007, 10:36 AM
Hee Hee...I like you...I think you are going to fit in just fine here :D

TY!

What would happen if we kissed?...

Well, the French might attack, but I think that's a longshot. In reality, you'd probably just get a little chin chaffing from my beard.

Would your tongue slip past my lips?...

Of course! Which lips? Are we talking French Kiss or deep, low, genital kiss? Either way, I'm up for it, but being the "Bi-Mod," I'm guessing you've had better than me down below... I mean, chicks own that "equipment," so they probably have a better handle on it than I could...

Would you run away?...

Only if you recently ate goat cheese and garlic. Or if you have that funky "creamed corn" saliva that's all thick and strange... WTF is that all about?! Most women have that "flavor" to their kisses when it's a first kiss and they're nervous... I know assloads about science and physiology and I still can't figure that one out...

Would you stay?...

$100 for the first hour, $75 for each additional hour... But you might be able to get a good nightly rate... I'd have to ask my she-pimp though...

Or would I melt into you?...

AHHH! A witch!! A WITCH!

Mouth to mouth...

Oh, wonderful! Yes, you need to know that one and the Heimlich Maneuver. Then you're set to save drown victims and chokers!

lust to lust...

Ashes to ashes...

Spontaneously combust...

I've heard of fiery romances before, but **** girl, you take it to a whole new level... I guess I should invest in some asbestos condoms and a new fire extinguisher....

What would happen if we kissed?

I think you asked that already, so I'll answer by saying I'd get you a new set of glasses or a hearing aid. :p

Penguin_Woman
08-03-2007, 10:39 AM
You are indeed something else...just don't know what. lol

Myzyri
08-03-2007, 10:41 AM
Yeah, I haven't slept in like 3 days so I'm a bit slap-happy...

And, uh, why are some words censored and others aren't? D A M N is censored, but **** is not... ??

Penguin_Woman
08-03-2007, 10:44 AM
At the whim of the admin(s). ;) hehe Both those used to be censored...once not too long ago. I guess I could remove that one too.

Edit: There you got your word back. rotfl :lol:

~Teej~
08-03-2007, 11:08 AM
Hee Hee Hee

I haven't smiled so much in ages...Thanks for clearing all that up for me :D

I know what you mean I've used damn a lot and to go back and change it..Thanks for getting it uncensored...Yipppeee

Oh and although I am Bi I have never had a GF...I am so missing out :(

**Sapphire**
08-03-2007, 12:52 PM
OMG...Myzyri you are too much!! :D I am sitting here laughing my *** off at my desk at your intro. I SOO needed the laughs this AM!!
:laught16:

I didn't say anything bad about you, just told Jwolf what you told us in your intro., your blunt but good with your advice. Not only that you have that sick twisted sense of humor too! :D :)

Glad that you are here with us, you will see that we are all a little bit crazy at times too, I think you will fit in just fine with us here!

WELCOME! :)