Comunicating with his ex?

[cranberries]

Is it a bad thing that I am communicating with his ex? She contacted me before him and her broke up. I was more or less a factor in their breakup. But we continued to talk even after their break up. She knew I started dating him, Im sure she was upset about it. But I was wondering if I should continue talking with her. All she does is rag on him, and tell me stories I'd rather not hear like him taking her virginity, or him being a liar and a user. Usually it doesnt bother me, but Im thinking maybe all this negativity towards my new boyfriend isnt something that is needed right now. I notice sometimes that it does create these doubts in my mind (which are usually washed out as soon as i talk to him [by the way he knows i talk to her, she's his least favorite ex because he knows she talks **** about him, but he doesnt say anything about me not talking to her. She's a cool person when we're talking about other stuff. She just always ends up talking about him not matter what). Do any of you talk to your boyfriends ex? Would you?

[Penguin_Woman]

Have I? No...not that I know of. Would I? Well...it'd depend on a lot of things. Certainly if all they can do is bad-mouth them I think I would cease contact

[**Sapphire**]

No, I can't say that I have ever talked to any of my boyfriend's ex's. I really wouldn't want to put myself in that type of situation where the ex is bad mouthing my boyfriend.

If all this girl is doing is bad mouthing your boyfriend it might be best to stop talking to her. You really don't need to hear any negativity, not only that, there just might be that 1 thing that she says that REALLY plants the seeds of doubt in your mind. Then you & you boyfriend could end up in a needless argument, you know?

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah, i dont really see why the friendship is necessary to add.. all it can add is a bunch of negativity and bitterness, since they obviiously didnt break up on great terms. why do you want to talk with her anyway? plus it might make your ex feel awkward and stuff... it would for me...

[cranberries]

Well I talked to her the first time, cause I felt bad, and I thought she just wanted to yell at me. But she was really nice and we had alot in common. But yeah, I pretty much already know the answer tot his question. I just thought she was cool except for the ragging. He hasnt said anything but it probably would annoy the hell out of me if he started talking to my ex. I just like everyone I meet.

[~Teej~]

Yeah I would try not to talk to her anymore...She may be trying to spilt you two up especially if all she says to you is negative stuff.

[daisychip]

You're kidding, right? cranberries?...........unless you don't think there's any REAL possibility of a lasting relationship with this guy and are just kinda playin' around..........then stay frriends with her..........cuz like sapphire said..........that 1 comment WILL come and prolly not at a good time. if there is such a thing in the first place. There's plenty of "cool" people around to hang with and talk to. I wouldn't even consider letting s/o talk s*#t about my bf TO me.....rather they were an ex or not. Are you a drama junkie?........lol.........be honest!...........you're kinda likin' it huh? Waiting to see whose gonna be the first to tell ya to screw off or demand you choose. Ya lil mynx. Thats bad!!.....lol

[cranberries]

You're kidding, right? cranberries?...........unless you don't think there's any REAL possibility of a lasting relationship with this guy and are just kinda playin' around..........then stay frriends with her..........cuz like sapphire said..........that 1 comment WILL come and prolly not at a good time. if there is such a thing in the first place. There's plenty of "cool" people around to hang with and talk to. I wouldn't even consider letting s/o talk s*#t about my bf TO me.....rather they were an ex or not. Are you a drama junkie?........lol.........be honest!...........you're kinda likin' it huh? Waiting to see whose gonna be the first to tell ya to screw off or demand you choose. Ya lil mynx. Thats bad!!.....lol

hahaha no. im just really nice, i usually just let people go off on anything. beacause it makes them feel better. I like listening to people. but i didnt like her doing it about him but i thought i should listen. i also feel like i owe her something =p im stupid. i kinda stole her bf... its pretty much why i get walked all over.

[**Sapphire**]

Well cranberries, stop being SOO nice...toughen up a bit! :D LOL...just kidding hun! :D

[daisychip]

im just really nice,...................i kinda stole her bf..........I knew you were a drama junkie!.....you like to get in there and get 'dirty' even....shame on you.

i also feel like i owe her something =p im stupid.........admit it, you just wanted to stick and see what she might do or say..........see how nuts it would make her........you must be dissappointed!.....just a bunch of bs bout your new bf that may be true or not.

its pretty much why i get walked all over......lmao!!!.....the only one gettin' 'walked all over' in this scenario is the ex and her ex bf!

I am wondering to myself, maybe you'll be "nice" enough to tell me........now that you got him......do you still want him?

[mashmac]

really wouldn't be talking to my other half's ex... really don't want to know the details. too much information. and that doesn't make me not nice. just do not see why. it would do my head in to be told the details of their intimacy...
and most certainly affect my relationship. can't imagine i would have anything to say to someone who got dumped because of me...somehow that's just not right.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah i dont know what you can say to her either... and a lot of the negative stuff is probably becasue she is bitter and angry at you for inadvertently stealing her boyfriend... plus i dont know why youd invite that kind of negativity in.

[cranberries]

I told her I couldnt talk to her anymore yesterday. She seemed upset, she was just cool when she didnt bring him up.

to your question daisychip, I love him and I cant wait to see him again. He melts away all my worries in the world and I wouldnt give him up for anything. If I am a drama junkie, I think it would be for watching tv or movies with it in there :p , that is my fav genre, cult & dark humor n the such :D haha. Our relationship just happened to start out complicated, mostly due to bad timing on my part (and maybe a little bad judgment on his). ;) good job for trying to figure me out though, I give you props.

[**Sapphire**]

That's good that you told her that you couldn't talk to her anymore. I think it's best that way for you all.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah i think thats for the best as well, not talking anymore... hopefully shell be cool with that :)

[daisychip]

I'm glad cranberries that you are a good sport. Every one of us either has or can be caught up in drama and sometimes not even realise thats what it is. I had to give you a hard time. That was plain drama material and honestly very hillarious from where I sit. I'm actually a loyalty "freak" but your situation didn't seem to have the qualities needed for my psycho behavoir(words) on the subject.........lol. I knew you didn't really want to hurt anyone because you asked the question......looked for an answer when you weren't sure what to do or (how), maybe is the better. Being a drama junkie isn't a bad thing I say, unless you want to be involved to keep it going. Oh and I'm happy that you want to 'keep your prize'...........lol.........just joking. Good Luck to you and your new bf. I think you've made the right choice as well.;)