What to do

[jasper]

If your s.o. cheated on you and you knew the person they cheated with?

[aussiecoffee007]

i would break up with them, i dont think its right to cheat and i would be too hurt to continue the relationship, especially if i knew the person they cheated with.

[**Sapphire**]

I agree w/Aussie, I would break it off w/your SO. There is no room for cheating in my book! I wouldn't even bother talking to the "other" 1, really the 1 you have to deal w/is your SO. Even if the other person knew your SO is married, engaged, in a long term relationship, whatever, you SO is the 1 really wrong here for even cheating.

[Riggs]

If your s.o. cheated on you and you knew the person they cheated w/would you do anything to the cheater or let it go?

I could kick the guys azz for messing with my lady, but what good would that do? It wouldn't undo what has happened. I don't hurt girls, so I would just end it with her and move on. Don't really have to do a thing, anyway.
What goes around..comes back around.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah i agree, i think its your SO's fault, since the other one involved doesnt really have a commitment and a promise to you to be faithful. its your SO's responsiblity to say no because of you.

[~Teej~]

I agree with the others. No one should cheat or be forgiven for cheating.

There's just no excuse for that behaviour in my eyes

[daisychip]

if you did something to the 'other' cheater, you'd HAVE to do something to your cheater............and then maybe the other cheater does something back................or has a friend do something back...............so you have to get them............see where i'm goin'.................and then pretty soon the cops are involved because someone didn't like the heat they got involved with................AND..................it still doesn't change the fact that you've been hurt and have to make a choice about your original cheater and if the relationship is worth salvaging. Just let it be, people can be very mean and cruel, especially in situations like this.

[**Sapphire**]

if you did something to the 'other' cheater, you'd HAVE to do something to your cheater............and then maybe the other cheater does something back................or has a friend do something back...............so you have to get them............see where i'm goin'.................and then pretty soon the cops are involved because someone didn't like the heat they got involved with................AND..................it still doesn't change the fact that you've been hurt and have to make a choice about your original cheater and if the relationship is worth salvaging. Just let it be, people can be very mean and cruel, especially in situations like this.


Good point daisychip!

[**Sapphire**]

Well I would say that if you can do some serious talking & if you feel that you can overcome the "emotional affair" your S.O. had then I would stay with her/him.

[daisychip]

Are you saying the baby may be the cheaters? or (maybe) it's yours, you don't know for sure? jasper, these are no childish games! especially when another human life may be involved. of course you know that and are prolly just focused on your own personal hurt. undrerstandable! but.......if this is truly a concern, there are many aspects to consider. If you AND your SO wanted to try to save your relationship, would you BOTH realise NOW is the time to take your relationship seriously???? Would you enter into a grown up life suiteable for child rearing? I guess I don't know if you already have children but even if you do, the day is now to put away all the old habits, hurt feelings, etc. and start fresh. In a loving, two way partnership. If the baby is not yours.......could you be grown up enough to accept him/her as your own?......and accept that the father(the cheater) may be involved in him/hers life forever? Could you truly forgive your SO and not always try to use this horrible mistake as the basis to win every disagreement you may ever have? Would you not use the mistake she made to justify doing the same to her and some point? There are like I said, many issues, and when you put it out as though it's only a matter of staying or leaving, you minimize the importance of not only your relationship but of yourself as you pertain to it. Obviously there have been extremely bad chouices made, but you are on the receiving end of showing what kind of person you are. I'm not syaing that you need to stay to be a bigger man or any of that kinda crap. What I AM saying is that, how you deal with the situation and the maturity level you put into it, will save your dignity and show all around you that you have your own set of standards and requirements. Don't let yourself look like a fool by just saying, she got what she deserved or running around acting like a victim. Most people can see through that anyway. I hope that you will put some serious thought into this. You didn't deserve what you got but remember she is also paying the price............she may lose you, she may be pregnant and she will know exactly why. You don't feel sorry for her but you can see that she hurt herself too. Big Time!

[~Teej~]

If you are sure that the child is yours and you can be sure you can get through this then the best of luck to you.
Hopefully she has learnt from her mistakes and you can put this all behind you.

[daisychip]

I hope that being certain the child is yours is not the only reason you have decided to stay. You can be a father and suport your baby w/o being in relationship that is not able to work. If you feel that you both love each other and can move onto better days and better ways of dealing with probs and providing an adult relationship role model for your child, I wish you all the luck, joy, peace and happiness you will receive after all the walls and hurtles are overcome and the stones are fell to the ground. It is not an easy thing to feel like your swallowing your pride but you will get past that fake and see it for what it really is, when you truly forgive. Good Luck to you both and CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!

[**Sapphire**]

Your the only 1 that knows the in's & out's of your relationship jasper. I'm glad that you both are trying to put things back together! :)