Why do women like jerks?

[ABA]

My question is directed towards the women, I know that a lot of you are attracted to jerks, why not sure...guess thats just the way things are. Anyways when do you realize that the whole badass jerk attitude you crave so much in a man is just plain ridicules. When does the whole jerk thing become unattractive and just plain wrong, when does it go too far?

[Penguin_Woman]

IMHO It's always too much, too far. I'm not attracted to jerks anymore. Though, yes there was a time was. It wasn't a conscious thing. In fact I'd often only find out later that they were jerks. I certainly didn't seek them out. When I realized who they were...I'd get out asap. I'm just lucky and blessed it was soon enough. Some were sure to get physically violent with me. A couple had already kinda started. I would guess that's where most women draw the line, if they are lucky. Some continue to make excuses and end up in a really bad situation. I'm very blessed. The love of my life is the fartest thing from a jerk. He's wonderful.

Edit: Oh sorry...you asked why. Well, for some they may be like me...they honestly didn't know. Some just think that "bad boy" image is really hot...until things get too hot to handle.

[**Sapphire**]

I agree w/Tuxette. When I was in the "bad guy" mode I liked the "thrill" of being w/a bad boy. I'm a pretty conservative lady, so when I was younger I wanted to be a little bad right along w/them.

I realized real quick that it got old because those "bad boys" weren't worth much at all. No more "bad boys" for me.

[mashmac]

I am attracted to "normal" guys, just met one jerk but that's enough for a lifetime. What an idiot he was... but really I have only myself to blame!

How do you now someone is a jerk from the start? how can you know?

[**Sapphire**]

Good questions mashmac. You really won't know until you get to know him/her. Not alot of people show their "true selves" in the beginning of a relationship.

[Riggs]

My question is directed towards the women, I know that a lot of you are attracted to jerks, why not sure...guess thats just the way things are. Anyways when do you realize that the whole badass jerk attitude you crave so much in a man is just plain ridicules. When does the whole jerk thing become unattractive and just plain wrong, when does it go too far?

Well, either they feel sorry for them or they make the best lovers. LOL JK

I have no idea, I'm just glad I'm not a jerk. :)

A little on the crazy side :p , but.. I'm :cool: :D

I know..oh, Riggs ! :rolleyes: LOL

[cranberries]

I dont know. Maybe it's a naive way to see something. but some of the girls I know, I've noticed liked jerky guys. I think they get with them just to see if they can change them (Like through the power of love [LOL]). I think it's a fairy tale thing that gets ingraved in girls minds. You know, like a beauty and the beast thing. That beast was a douche bag but he learned to love belle. Or like with batman where Harely Quinn falls in love with the Joker, he's a big ***. But he starts to love her back and then tries to kill her... I dont know where I was going with that last example. But thats my take on the whole situation.

[GeeksAreHotter]

Yeah, I never got this. I know some wonderful girls but their b/f are complete to&%ers. I mean, COMPLETE. Actually, one of the very few fights I've ever been involved in was when I slugged one of my friends boyfriends because he was walking around chatting up all these other girls at a party RIGHT IN FRONT of his girl. She was visibly upset but he just kept on doing it and I cracked.

So'd his jaw. HA! Serves him right too.

I don't know what it is. Maybe it is the bad boy thing, I don't know. I've never been like that though and I have had some nice girl friends. Maybe not as many as some of those jerk guys, but I can't complain. I often think those "bad boys" act that was to hide inadequacies and so they can feel that they "fit in".

My advice is just be yourself. You'll find the right girl eventually!

[disturbed2483]

Its just a phase from what I've seen they tend to get over it, some never like jerks I have never been a jerk and never will be. Just be yourself and you'll find the right person.

[daisychip]

There are many different reasons but I know for myself it was because men like that always seemed to be confident and I am definitely attracted to that but as I've grown and became a MUCH wiser person from all the trials in my life I found out that most of the time those types really are NOT confident, the complete oppossite actually, and they have become less attractive to me. The problem for me now is breaking out of the habit of being with men that have to be taught how to be real men. It's hard for me to give up on people and like cranberries said........with him hoping for or guiding change.

I agree with you disturbed........just be yourself because the right woman will come along or smarten up, as I have, and you will find her.

[TreeofSephri]

I think the answer has already been stated ,but I will simply add my two cents. First and foremost trying to understand women is a futile endeavor so don't torture yourself over these questions. Experience and Research have taught me that it's not the bad attitude that women like but the characteristics of the jerk. In other words, it is the attitudes and behaviors of the jerk that make him attractive not his "jerkiness". Jerks are confident, courageous, leaders, funny and usually stand out. All these characteristics are things women value in a man. However, one does not have to be jerk to have these characteristics ,and I think most would prefer that they were not. In the end, it all comes down to being happy with who you are flaws and all.

[daisychip]

Almost Tree.........they SEEM to be all those things you said but inside they really aren't...............it's a show.

You are right that one does not have to be a jerk to have the characteristics..............it is actually the true confidence of a man that "doesn't have" to try to be blatant about being secure.........

Jerks are not secure with their flaws, thats why they they have to try to be the leader of the pack, so no one sees the "real" person.

I don't mean to argue the point but when you REALLY know these guys I have come to...............you really do see their true nature and it is sad really. Pitiful.......truely.

[Mystique]

Ill just add my two penneth worth here.


Jerks,....Mmmmm that was the tune I sang too when I was younger.

I guess its the bad boy thing that keeps us girlies on our toes.

Will he call, wont he, will he turn up, will he be faithful,........its all about the thrill of trying to tame the beast. A challenge is more of a better phrase.

However, when it first starts out the fire is burning the sex is great and usually the bad boys are total eye candy.

Then you start to slink into the paranoid world of 'Mmmm hes not changing,...WHY?'


Personally,.......I like a guy that has some balls about him,.....will make decisions and take the lead,....but also one that knows how to read women too. I dont expect them to be mindreaders but I would hope for some interest in the well being of the other partner.



Bad boys are great fun if your in it for fun too,....or your of a similar liking,..........I like to have a little of both,.......someone that keeps you guessing and is not so predictable to make life so hum drum.


But hey,.....thats just MO.

[clueless24]

i think that is because some girls find the jerks to be intringuing and challenging to understand and to love. eventually however, its get to be too difficult and we come to a realization that they can never make us happy cuz they never seem to care. jerks are going to be jerks, their priorties are themselves and their egos. they are just not worth the time and the effort.

[pika]

I would say girls like someone w strong personality, jerk for instance....they tend to be more attractive......for ppl ard the youth time....all the way till 25 and above...they will be looking for a trusty decent partner that can spend their life with.....
so be a jerk when u are young and mature when times come:p

[aussiecoffee007]

i think we like that its unpredictable, a little thrilling maybe... and then yeah they are usually more attractive and when you are young that is super important haha and then also... jerks kinda like pika was saying have a strong personality type, adn i think ambiguousness is looked down upon in youth.

[sweet26]

It seems everytime i date someone they turn out to be jerks. It doesnt matter who they are, they always turn out to be that way, it never fails. I guess they are attracted to my niceness or whatever. I just dont understand it.

[eaglebaseball]

I have never figured that out...

I'm definitely what you would call a nice guy most of the time, but when we're alone, or in certain situations, I can get a little cocky, and my gf likes it. She's told me a few times how at first she didn't like me because I was too nice, and then once she got to know me, and we spent a little time together, she saw that there were times when I was a bit of a bada*s as well.

So I guess it attracts girls right off the bat, but I'd like to think girls get tired of the jerk attitude pretty quickly.

[TreeofSephri]

The truth is that no one likes a jerk. What is attractive about a jerk is the air of masculinity that emanates from him.