Lonely Depression

[GeeksAreHotter]

Hello folks.

I’ve had some stuff on my mind for a fair while now but don’t really feel comfortable talking about it with my friends and even less so my family. However, I feel I need some advice and thanks to the anonymity of the internet I thought I might try here. I hope this is the right place for this, I apologise if it is not.

Ok, so I’ve been single for about 2 and a half years now, give or take a month or two. I am completely over my ex so there are no worries there. However, of late I’ve been feeling really depressed and lonely. I don’t feel like this all the time, it just sort of washes over me every now and then. This feeling of depression can last as long as a day or as short a time as an hour. The longest so far has been two days straight. I get quick, small pangs of loneliness more often, but these are usually more sort of “man, it’d be nice to have someone here with me” rather than “dear God, I’m so alone, kill me now.” The depressive stuff has only been a fairly recent thing, the last few months.

The thing is, I’m not by nature a sad or depressed guy. I have always seen the positive side to things; I’ve always been a “glass half full” type of bloke. I can’t understand why I’m suddenly having these emotions. However, I do have a few self-confidence issues which really makes it hard for me to ask a girl out on a date or even to the movies.

I’ve just started Uni this year. The place is huge and I feel a little out of my depth, but I do have friends there. However, there are all these beautiful girls wandering around and it feels slightly intimidating. Also, I see all these couples and I feel jealous, even sometimes anger, that I’m alone.

Another thing is that my best mate just got himself a girl. So, now he’s always off with her (as he should be) and I’m still on my lonesome. If that is the reason or not though, I’m not sure.

Anyway, any suggestions you guy could give me as to why I might be getting these feelings or what I should do about them would be most appreciated!

Thanks in advance!

[aussiecoffee007]

first off, i just want to assure you that your feelings are completley normal, you want a girlfriend, or someone to be with, to "have what they have" kind of mindset. but if yuo feel you are really brinking on actual depression, you should go see a doctor because thats somethign that you cant really get over by yourself, as the chemicals in your brain are all changed and whatnot.

i would suggest just reaching out to people, sometimes just friends can fill the void of a non-relationship, or just try to build friendshpis with girls and see where they take you.

and let me also just take this opportunity to say I LOVE YOUR SCREEN NAME :)
ive always been a fan of the geeky guys anyway :)

[GeeksAreHotter]

but if yuo feel you are really brinking on actual depression, you should go see a doctor because thats somethign that you cant really get over by yourself, as the chemicals in your brain are all changed and whatnot.


No, it's not real depression because, as I said, the feeling does pass, but when it's there it is quite depressing. If I try and do something to take my mind off it that usually helps. What do you mean by "have what they have" though? I assume you mean that I'm looking for the companionship that comes with a relationship, that feeling of knowing someone cares about you, which really is something I miss very much. Either that, or I'm completely missing your point. :rolleyes:

and let me also just take this opportunity to say I LOVE YOUR SCREEN NAME
ive always been a fan of the geeky guys anyway

Thanks. It's actually taken from an artwork I did last year called "Geeks Are Hotter." I'd post a URL to it but I'm not allowed to, apparently.


Thanks for your comments above too!

[Penguin_Woman]

Well, you can if it's not some kind of dating site or something. We allow some links like people's myspace accounts and things like that. If you've some artwork you wanna share...go for it. :)

[zoie05]

I think your feelings are very normal. I also think that your friend getting a girl has alot to do with it. My best friend got a guy and now I never see her and I miss her. That too made me feel very low. I am going to agree with the advice you got from the last posts. Talk to people, girls included, be yourself, or try dating sites - aparently they work.

[Riggs]

I think your feelings are very normal. I also think that your friend getting a girl has alot to do with it. My best friend got a guy and now I never see her and I miss her. That too made me feel very low. I am going to agree with the advice you got from the last posts. Talk to people, girls included, be yourself, or try dating sites - aparently they work.

I agree with what you said. I think you might just find the right person on there.
You get to tell about yourself..what you like and dislike, what you want and/or are looking for in a man. You know like..non-smoker, non drinker, non drug user, and good in bed. ::eek: I'm sorry :o I'm bad. :D .... :o

I'm just trying to make you guys laugh that is all.

[zoie05]

HAHA! Note to Geeks, always make your profile say good in bed. :p LOL.

But seriously just be yourself. I am a true believer that God has a plan for each of us. We just have to go with the flow, make good decisions, and trust in him. Your time will come. Everyone deserves to be loved. Just be yourself and someone will appreciate that soon enough.:D

[Riggs]

HAHA! Note to Geeks, always make your profile say good in bed. :p LOL.

But seriously just be yourself. I am a true believer that God has a plan for each of us. We just have to go with the flow, make good decisions, and trust in him. Your time will come. Everyone deserves to be loved. Just be yourself and someone will appreciate that soon enough.:D


That's true, but not the part that I am a geek. :p I'm a sweetheart. :D lol
Oh, ok..a nut..but my mama loves me. Ba..ha ha ha ! Oh, lord..I'm acting this way and it's not even Friday yet.

[zoie05]

I meant that for Geeksarehotter, LOL. I am sure you are a silly sweetheart. And why can't everyday be friday! :D

[Riggs]

I meant that for Geeksarehotter, LOL. I am sure you are a silly sweetheart. And why can't everyday be friday! :D

It would be nice if everyday was Friday, wouldn't it? Yeah, work Friday and get paid for 5. mmm hmm.. that would work for me. :D

[zoie05]

You are funny.:p

[aussiecoffee007]

geeks, you are not totally missing my point :) my point is... perhaps you just want to have what they have in teh sense that... they have a girlfriend, a companion, someone to call when things are good and bad, a constant partner, love, all of it... and perhaps you just want some too. i think you just want to be with someone right now because you want to know someone cares for you...
get me now? :)
and guys, watch the OT..... :)

[Riggs]

Oops ! I'm sorry, boss. ;)

[GeeksAreHotter]

Well, you can if it's not some kind of dating site or something. We allow some links like people's myspace accounts and things like that. If you've some artwork you wanna share...go for it.

Cool, well I might post it else where on the forum.

or try dating sites - aparently they work.


I've actually considered that, but I think I'll wait until all other options have run out.

But seriously just be yourself. I am a true believer that God has a plan for each of us. We just have to go with the flow, make good decisions, and trust in him. Your time will come. Everyone deserves to be loved. Just be yourself and someone will appreciate that soon enough.

While I am personally an atheist (sorry if that offends anyone) I DO believe that there is someone out there for everyone. So, I believe I will someday find my one, true, geeky love. I just wish it'd hurry along a bit sometimes. :)

my point is... perhaps you just want to have what they have in teh sense that... they have a girlfriend, a companion, someone to call when things are good and bad, a constant partner, love, all of it... and perhaps you just want some too. i think you just want to be with someone right now because you want to know someone cares for you...
get me now?

I thought that's what you meant. And yes, you’re right, that is a big part of what I'm missing.

[zoie05]

Just keep your head up. Good luck to you!:o

[GeeksAreHotter]

Just keep your head up. Good luck to you!:o

Thanks Zoie!

[ftheunion]

Its just evolution. It was meant to urge cavemen to hang around females he liked. In those days, all they had was each other, so it was easy to get a mate. Girls were not so picky. Its a see a need, fill a need type of thing. That's why friends and acquaintances or even strangers can come onto each other out of nowhere.