lovesick101
01-03-2012, 04:31 PM
I have been struggling with an issue for a couple of months now, an issue which I thought I can resolve on my own over time, but it keeps occurring and I feel like I am ruining our relationship.
I have been dating my bf for almost 3 years. He has been in the Navy for 6 months about. I had no problem with him joining, I actually gave him the idea to go due to finances and career options he was struggling with.
But I have been having anxiety, and jealousy issues and I feel like they are taking over me badly over little things. I had a past relationship where I was cheated on, my bf now has never done that, never hit me, verbally abused me, basically he never did anything to destroy our relationship. He thinks very high of me, and always says great things to me and about me to others, how happy he is so have me and such.
However, I am known to be very jealous, and I have been starting to feel this way only in our relationship, I think it is due to the fact that I care a lot about him and he means a lot to me. And that I am overprotective. The problems I have been having are mainly trust issues, and I do trust him, but I make my anxiety go overboard and it is like I wanna get lies out of him, and it looks as if I do not trust him.
We have been having arguments about him talking to other girls, and I would sometimes creep online to see if there is something he is hiding, but there isn't. He doesn't constantly text other girls or talk to them online, its on a rare occasion, and it is just to say whats up, nothing intimate, he doesn't call others either. The thing that bothered me though is when I once found out months back that he told one girl that he used to like her, even though it was before me, it bothered me that he told her. He did apologize for doing that, and he told me there was no actual reason of him to do it. I know he doesn't have feelings for anyone else, he has mentioned marriage before and how he wants to someday start a life with me. Yet I still have these issues and I do not know how to handle them, when I do tell him what is bothering me, he does listen but it pisses him off because it comes down to the same thing, me giving him a million questions and what it turns out to be is me not trusting him.
And I tell myself that I won't snoop on his stuff but I still do anyways and from there the little things start to bother me and we start the cycle again.
Could it just be that he is away and I am having these issues, I sometimes think a break would be necessary but that would not solve anything because the issue won't be resolved that way.
I would tell him I would fix the problem, but it is still there, how can I make our relationship stronger and not fall apart?
I have been dating my bf for almost 3 years. He has been in the Navy for 6 months about. I had no problem with him joining, I actually gave him the idea to go due to finances and career options he was struggling with.
But I have been having anxiety, and jealousy issues and I feel like they are taking over me badly over little things. I had a past relationship where I was cheated on, my bf now has never done that, never hit me, verbally abused me, basically he never did anything to destroy our relationship. He thinks very high of me, and always says great things to me and about me to others, how happy he is so have me and such.
However, I am known to be very jealous, and I have been starting to feel this way only in our relationship, I think it is due to the fact that I care a lot about him and he means a lot to me. And that I am overprotective. The problems I have been having are mainly trust issues, and I do trust him, but I make my anxiety go overboard and it is like I wanna get lies out of him, and it looks as if I do not trust him.
We have been having arguments about him talking to other girls, and I would sometimes creep online to see if there is something he is hiding, but there isn't. He doesn't constantly text other girls or talk to them online, its on a rare occasion, and it is just to say whats up, nothing intimate, he doesn't call others either. The thing that bothered me though is when I once found out months back that he told one girl that he used to like her, even though it was before me, it bothered me that he told her. He did apologize for doing that, and he told me there was no actual reason of him to do it. I know he doesn't have feelings for anyone else, he has mentioned marriage before and how he wants to someday start a life with me. Yet I still have these issues and I do not know how to handle them, when I do tell him what is bothering me, he does listen but it pisses him off because it comes down to the same thing, me giving him a million questions and what it turns out to be is me not trusting him.
And I tell myself that I won't snoop on his stuff but I still do anyways and from there the little things start to bother me and we start the cycle again.
Could it just be that he is away and I am having these issues, I sometimes think a break would be necessary but that would not solve anything because the issue won't be resolved that way.
I would tell him I would fix the problem, but it is still there, how can I make our relationship stronger and not fall apart?