Is he cheating?

[dollface82]

OK, bizarre story.

Boyfriend of 6 months told me he was going away for the wknd for work.

No big deal, I travel for work too.

I was driving to a friend's place on the weekend - I see my BOYFRIEND walking with another girl, and her dog. Not holding hands of anything. I was shocked.

I confronted them calmly, said Hi, thought you were meant to be away.

He said - I was - I was given the sack from my job yesterday, very upset, flew back in this morning, just wanted to talk to a friend before I saw you. Nothing going on with her.

She then said hi - known him for a while.

I just said "Ok then" and left. He then sent me a text saying he's really stressed out at the moment, and needs a bit of breathing space.

I've checked up - he has lost his job which is devestating.

Why didn't he tell me? Two weeks ago he told me he loved me,wants a future together and looking at properties.

He's never mentioned her before, he knows my male friends.

What to think? Has he been cheating this whole time? Or is his story legit?

I haven't heard from him the past 3 days - his phone/email accounts deactivated as work has paid for them.

I love him, this is heartbreaking.

Guys? Be honest.

[Penguin_Woman]

Hi and welcome to ATLF. I wouldn't assume he was cheating. But maybe you guys need to talk about where you see things going.

edit: I just read a bit more that I missed the first time. Why doesn't he have an email address and phone of his own? Plenty of free email services out there. It does concern me you've not heard from him in 3 days

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah, is his work paying for the actual internet access? but still, youd think he could call or something...
if hes walking the dog with her, thats a pretty close friendship so id definitely confront him about your fears but i wouldnt automatically assume hes cheating or antyhing, especialyl if he DID just lose his job and such... maybe he was ashamed of telling you...? but he still should have, and you should probably just have a good long chat with him.

[dollface82]

called his Mum - apparently he doesn't have a new phone yet, she hasn't heard from him since Monday, when he gave the work phone back, which is the last day I heard from him.



they speak all the time.


so maybe the story was true?

[mashmac]

well I would be worried. If he is feeling so bad you would expect him to share it with you. It might not mean he has been cheating but that's how it could be interpreted. And now not calling... could he be feeling guilty?

Perhaps there is an explanation. But at the moment you certainly have enough reasons to be worried. I would be. Hope he calls you soon to explain.

[dollface82]

He called me at work earlier today – just got new phone activated apparently (that’s true, because I checked with his Mum this morning LOL, she hadn’t heard from him since he turned his phone in on Monday, as I did).



Turns out the girl was a HR adviser from a company he used to work for, he organised a catch-up with her to establish his rights against the employer in the job situation (I can easily verify that).


Knew I’d be in a emotional-dangerous mood after seeing him so thought he’d ignore my drama for a couple of days.



Didn’t think that I’d be stressing myself sick over him. Guys are so weird.



You believe his story?

[Penguin_Woman]

Oh that's lovely of him. He may not be cheating but I don't think that was nice of him

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah i dont think hes cheating either, but i think he should have told you since youre in a relationship and all... and assuming you wouldnt take it well is kind of harsh :(

[mashmac]

I would believe the story.

[dollface82]

Turns out his story was true. The female he was talking too is married, was a corporate adviser.

Now, I'm worried that I've ruined my relationship with him - shows I don't trust him?

But the situation was so dodgy!

[mashmac]

the situation seemed dodgy indeed. i am sure he is rational enough to see why you were concerned. now it's over and you can just both move on. not really such a drama.

[Riggs]

Turns out his story was true. The female he was talking too is married, was a corporate adviser.

Now, I'm worried that I've ruined my relationship with him - shows I don't trust him?

But the situation was so dodgy!

Trust him until you find out otherwise. If you do find out otherwise, than drop his *** like a hot potato. I think he should have called and let you know what is going on right after it happened.

Trust him, but still keep those eyes open, dollface. If he starts treating you bad, direspecting you, or not wanting to make love to you, than most likely he is. Like I said, darlin..trust until you know for sure, and don't stress yourself out over it. It does you no good.

[aussiecoffee007]

meh just let him know you were only slightly jealous because you thought he was cheating, it seemed a little odd, just tell him you were worried since he wasnt communicating what was going on anyway.
but have faith in the guy! :)

[Jackie]

In this situation is to have a calm talk with him. You can not say he is cheating on you because he didn't do anything that made him a cheater. First thing you might have thought of is why he didnt tell you first thing when he got back. After what you said that he said he loves you and want to have a future with you. It makes me think maybe he feels upset and stressed because he lost a job. When anyone who loses their job is devasted. Especially when that person mention I want to have a future with their partner. Is just some psychological normal reaction. Maybe he is afraid to tell you so he is asking his close friends for advice on how to confront you. Hmm he hasn't called you for 3 days.. why dont you tri to text him and call him. If no response give him 2 more days or so and go look for him. You need an answer some how. Hope the other memebers on here and I can help you. :)