LWNagel
10-09-2011, 09:39 PM
Well, here is the story.
I met a girl about a year ago. We didn't talk much at first but we eventually did and I realized how much I wanted to be with her. We are really good friends, so when my romantic advances didn't work at first we just talked about it, and I tried various tactics, and it didn't work, and now she has had a boyfriend for a month or two.
Well, I haven't stopped wanting to be hers. And we have talked about it a lot---I have given lots of reasons, and even she has admitted that us being together is logical. I keep feeling like I know what two of the main reasons are: 1) she is three and a half years older than me, and 2) she does have a boyfriend. But she has made it clear that he is not really a long-term relationship. And we are transferring to the same university next year.
As if I wasn't confused enough already, we have (clearly) been getting closer lately. We are talking about more intimate topics, and our lives in the past, etc. And then when I was driving her to the train one day she told me she needs me (she meant it as a friend, I am sure, but still) and then as she left we hugged but hugged considerably longer than we usually do. Well, two days later her boyfriend came up in conversation for us, so it isn't like she had broken up with him or anything.
I am not naive, I know that I cannot convince her to be into me, or prove that we should be together any more than I already have (no to the first, yes to the second). I suggested that when we transfer or some time in the future, we simply skip the awkward flirt/date phase and just start something, a serious something. Some days later I was laughing about how we will have been friends for so long and that it might be awkward to move into romance, and she responded by saying that we could just do what I suggested.
We have a wonderful friendship, and we both know it. She says that if she ever wants me she will (very clearly) let me know, and we can take it from there.
But a few days ago I was talking to her more about it, and she (rightfully) got upset/irritated and ended up just saying "IF I AM SO WONDERFUL AND WORTH IT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAIT FOR ME!?!"
As I said, I am not naive and I am not "blinded by love". We do have a strong friendship, and I really do feel and think that if I do wait, and not get upset when I see her with her boyfriend, that there is a really good chance we might have a serious relationship in the future.
Well, what do you all think?
I met a girl about a year ago. We didn't talk much at first but we eventually did and I realized how much I wanted to be with her. We are really good friends, so when my romantic advances didn't work at first we just talked about it, and I tried various tactics, and it didn't work, and now she has had a boyfriend for a month or two.
Well, I haven't stopped wanting to be hers. And we have talked about it a lot---I have given lots of reasons, and even she has admitted that us being together is logical. I keep feeling like I know what two of the main reasons are: 1) she is three and a half years older than me, and 2) she does have a boyfriend. But she has made it clear that he is not really a long-term relationship. And we are transferring to the same university next year.
As if I wasn't confused enough already, we have (clearly) been getting closer lately. We are talking about more intimate topics, and our lives in the past, etc. And then when I was driving her to the train one day she told me she needs me (she meant it as a friend, I am sure, but still) and then as she left we hugged but hugged considerably longer than we usually do. Well, two days later her boyfriend came up in conversation for us, so it isn't like she had broken up with him or anything.
I am not naive, I know that I cannot convince her to be into me, or prove that we should be together any more than I already have (no to the first, yes to the second). I suggested that when we transfer or some time in the future, we simply skip the awkward flirt/date phase and just start something, a serious something. Some days later I was laughing about how we will have been friends for so long and that it might be awkward to move into romance, and she responded by saying that we could just do what I suggested.
We have a wonderful friendship, and we both know it. She says that if she ever wants me she will (very clearly) let me know, and we can take it from there.
But a few days ago I was talking to her more about it, and she (rightfully) got upset/irritated and ended up just saying "IF I AM SO WONDERFUL AND WORTH IT, WHY DON'T YOU JUST WAIT FOR ME!?!"
As I said, I am not naive and I am not "blinded by love". We do have a strong friendship, and I really do feel and think that if I do wait, and not get upset when I see her with her boyfriend, that there is a really good chance we might have a serious relationship in the future.
Well, what do you all think?