made4oneman
09-13-2011, 01:03 AM
Hi everyone
me and my boyfriend been together for a while but we've known each other for years, he is from the bahamas. we met online and he has visited here last november and things went great. then after that, he went back home and made plans to come here permanently so that we can start a life together. First couple of weeks went great, but every since we watched a certain movie called Misery, he basically has been paranoid and drawing really negative conclusions about me, such as me cheating, people recording him, me letting him run up his money and then tell him that he needs to go back home, me having a college degree in psychology and me not being honest about my life period. It got to the point where he had to go to a psychiatric ward, but he still believes whatever delusions that he has concocted about me, yet he tells his family how great of a woman I am and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I have told him on several occasions that if he has such a problem with me and really believes what he believes about me then a) we shouldn't be together and b) he needs to tell his family not only the good things but also the negative things he is so sure about (even though it isn't true) and he never responds to that. He claims he wants a fresh start but as bad as I want that, it's hard for me to do that when he walks around believing negative things about me that isnt true, let alone keeps bringing up this stuff that he says he doesn't want to talk about and that he wants to forget. I got in touch with a couple of his family members and I talked to his mother and she had to fly out here to get him out of the psych ward because I couldn't get him out, even though he kept on saying that I need to get him out of there. He also kept on saying I set up everything for him to be placed there. Anyways, I got to know his mother and everything went great with her. I really hit it off with her and she told me that he will get some medical help when he returns home. I thought to myself that things would be better if he was home and since he would be surrounded with people who actually know him. But things only got worse. He still kept on accusing me of these same things that I mentioned earlier, along with saying that his trust for me is going day by day. The last time I spoke to him was Thursday and early Friday and he basically said that he needs to be alone for a while. I called Saturday and his mother said that he wasnt there and that he went to his aunt for a couple of days, and then I let a couple of days go by and I still heard nothing from him. So I called his cousin and she told me that he went to another island with his aunt and that he will be there for a good couple of weeks, and I was like wow because it not only caught me by surprise but it caught her as well as my bf's mother by surprise as well. I am not used to this long long time going without any form of communication. His family even said that they look forward to meeting me in December (for Christmas) Should I wait it out or should I just move on? I don't mean to sound selfish, but I feel extremely abandoned, something he said he would never do, no matter what. And I feel really hurt because I feel betrayed by him. I'm confused because he tells his family how he wants to be with me, how great of a woman have been and am to him, yet this stuff is happening? I know that I love him a whole lot but I have gone through a lot with him as it was before all of this stuff surfaced.
My questions are:
1) Should I stick around and wait it out or should i just move on?
2) Why is it that he talks down to me and strongly believes these negative things about me but yet he doesn't call off the relationship, or tell his family how the negative things he feels about me?
Sorry if this post was too long. I really needed to get this off my chest. Thanks in advance
me and my boyfriend been together for a while but we've known each other for years, he is from the bahamas. we met online and he has visited here last november and things went great. then after that, he went back home and made plans to come here permanently so that we can start a life together. First couple of weeks went great, but every since we watched a certain movie called Misery, he basically has been paranoid and drawing really negative conclusions about me, such as me cheating, people recording him, me letting him run up his money and then tell him that he needs to go back home, me having a college degree in psychology and me not being honest about my life period. It got to the point where he had to go to a psychiatric ward, but he still believes whatever delusions that he has concocted about me, yet he tells his family how great of a woman I am and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I have told him on several occasions that if he has such a problem with me and really believes what he believes about me then a) we shouldn't be together and b) he needs to tell his family not only the good things but also the negative things he is so sure about (even though it isn't true) and he never responds to that. He claims he wants a fresh start but as bad as I want that, it's hard for me to do that when he walks around believing negative things about me that isnt true, let alone keeps bringing up this stuff that he says he doesn't want to talk about and that he wants to forget. I got in touch with a couple of his family members and I talked to his mother and she had to fly out here to get him out of the psych ward because I couldn't get him out, even though he kept on saying that I need to get him out of there. He also kept on saying I set up everything for him to be placed there. Anyways, I got to know his mother and everything went great with her. I really hit it off with her and she told me that he will get some medical help when he returns home. I thought to myself that things would be better if he was home and since he would be surrounded with people who actually know him. But things only got worse. He still kept on accusing me of these same things that I mentioned earlier, along with saying that his trust for me is going day by day. The last time I spoke to him was Thursday and early Friday and he basically said that he needs to be alone for a while. I called Saturday and his mother said that he wasnt there and that he went to his aunt for a couple of days, and then I let a couple of days go by and I still heard nothing from him. So I called his cousin and she told me that he went to another island with his aunt and that he will be there for a good couple of weeks, and I was like wow because it not only caught me by surprise but it caught her as well as my bf's mother by surprise as well. I am not used to this long long time going without any form of communication. His family even said that they look forward to meeting me in December (for Christmas) Should I wait it out or should I just move on? I don't mean to sound selfish, but I feel extremely abandoned, something he said he would never do, no matter what. And I feel really hurt because I feel betrayed by him. I'm confused because he tells his family how he wants to be with me, how great of a woman have been and am to him, yet this stuff is happening? I know that I love him a whole lot but I have gone through a lot with him as it was before all of this stuff surfaced.
My questions are:
1) Should I stick around and wait it out or should i just move on?
2) Why is it that he talks down to me and strongly believes these negative things about me but yet he doesn't call off the relationship, or tell his family how the negative things he feels about me?
Sorry if this post was too long. I really needed to get this off my chest. Thanks in advance