obsession

[aussiecoffee007]

when/how do you know when you are unhealthily obsessed with your SO?

i told my boyfriend id call him at 9, and AT 9 o clock (this was two nights ago) i had 28 missed calls from him. i wasnt late or anything, it was exactly 9 adn id alreayd missed those. there were no messages, and when i called him, nothing was wrong or anything he just wanted to talk. last night i got 18.

[Penguin_Woman]

Well, Aussie...I'd love to tll you that's ok or normal...and "normal" is a very subjective thing. But that seems excessive even to me. I know I'm not the most stable, secure, confident individual but even at my worst I've never called Tuxie that much.
I don't even leave 28 messages between offlines, voicemail and texting together. When he and I have a...disagreement I do tend to call or leave quite a few messages. But never that much.

You need to talk to him...ask him, again if something is wrong or bothering him. Even if he says there isn't...push bit more cuz something has to be up. If there truly is nothing...maybe you can gently tell him that one or two messages is plenty. You'll get them and get back to him asap. :)

[aussiecoffee007]

hey tuxette, thanks for the reply... i mean, he called that many times and DIDNT leave one message, but nothing was wrong and he says nothing was up he just wanted to talk to me...

[Penguin_Woman]

Well, still...pretty nutty IMO

[eaglebaseball]

I get annoyed when people call me, but don't leave msgs.

It does seem excessive to call that many times though.

[~Teej~]

I think he should have called a couple of times and then left a message because it was pretty obvious you weren't able to answer your phone.

The 28 missed calls would have freaked me out to.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah and it wasnt even for an emergency or anything, youd think he would just have given up... and he always gets ****** when i cant talk, like when he calls when im at work and stuff...

[Tuxie]

Just a thought here....

LDR's can be very strange at times. Because of the lack of physical touch, some people need that extra contact... however they can get it. Mebbe your guy is just insecure about something in your relationship. I'm not saying this is the case with you guys... 'tis just a thought. :)

[mashmac]

Happy birthday btw!

[GeeksAreHotter]

That does seem like a lot. As folks have said, I'd talk to him, see if there really was something going on. Also, it depends how you told him you wanted to talk. If you said "I need to talk to you at 9" or "I have something to tell you, right you at nine" etc any number of things are to liable to run through his mind.

But yeah, talk to him.

[aussiecoffee007]

no i didnt, we talked every night and 9 was our usual time, so the night before he just said, talk to you at 9 and that was about it. and there wasnt anything going on its happened before...

[Penguin_Woman]

Very strange. Sounds to me like you need to talk to him tell him (in a nice way) he needs to try and cool it some. You enjoy talking to him and you want to but calling 28 times isn't gonna help him reach you any sooner

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah but now i dont even really enjoy talking to him lol

[Penguin_Woman]

Ok...well...tell him something like that. That you'd like to enjoy talking to him again but he needs to not call so much

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah but he wont stop calling. i told him id be gone for the weekend and said, dont call me i wont be able to answer--he calls 40 times in an hour and gets his brother to call me twice.

[~Teej~]

This is crazy Aussie
You really need to sort this out.
No one should behave like this.

[Penguin_Woman]

Yeah...I would second that. That's just nuts. Something needs to be done. He seems rather insecure. I love Tuxie and I hate being apart from him. He feels the same, but if we can't talk we don't call each other 40 times.

[mashmac]

this can only get worst.... i would run from it as fast as i could.

[**Sapphire**]

Based on your last post Aussie of you telling him not to call you over the weekend & he called you 40 times, thats very excessive. There might be something more than just insecurity going on. You mentioned earlier in this post that he gets mad when you don't pick up? How mad does he get? Does he get nasty with you?

I think if you can, have a long talk with him about the excessive calling & disrespecting you when you tell him not to call & he goes overboard calling you.

[Riggs]

when/how do you know when you are unhealthily obsessed with your SO?

i told my boyfriend id call him at 9, and AT 9 o clock (this was two nights ago) i had 28 missed calls from him. i wasnt late or anything, it was exactly 9 adn id alreayd missed those. there were no messages, and when i called him, nothing was wrong or anything he just wanted to talk. last night i got 18.

Wow ! Either he is crazy about you or bored to death one. :rolleyes:

[aussiecoffee007]

he just said he wants to know if im there (i asked him why he felt he needed to call 40 times) and i said, didnt you realize i wouldnt pick up after the first 3 or so, that i was busy, and hes like, well i missed you. and that was all.

and no, he doesnt get nasty just very mad, like, "oh you break my heart, why are you always busy" that sort of thing.

[**Sapphire**]

I don't know Aussie hun. I can understand him missing you, but to continuously call KNOWING you won't be able to pick up. Not only that, you told him that you wouldn't be able to pick up is a bit much calling that many times & not even leave an "I miss you" type of message.

[aussiecoffee007]

yeah i know he never leaves any messages, ever, just calls all the time. i talked to him about it and he said that he forgot i said i couldnt talk, and he just calls because he misses me, and now he wont do it again blah blah blah.

[Riggs]

yeah i know he never leaves any messages, ever, just calls all the time. i talked to him about it and he said that he forgot i said i couldnt talk, and he just calls because he misses me, and now he wont do it again blah blah blah.

I have a friend (no not a girlfriend) call me. He is the one that calls becuase he gets down and needs to talk to someone. I have talked about him a little on here. Anyway, If I am not home, he will wait until the answering kicks on and hang up, and all I get is that noise that drives me to drink. Do you guys know the noise I'm talking about? I have told him not to do that and leave a message. I know it's him, I have caller id. I know the poor guy is under way too much stress and all, but how many times do I have to tell him to leave a message? :rolleyes:

[**Sapphire**]

yeah i know he never leaves any messages, ever, just calls all the time. i talked to him about it and he said that he forgot i said i couldnt talk, and he just calls because he misses me, and now he wont do it again blah blah blah.


I hope he won't do it again Aussie.

[Penguin_Woman]

yeah i know he never leaves any messages, ever, just calls all the time. i talked to him about it and he said that he forgot i said i couldnt talk, and he just calls because he misses me, and now he wont do it again blah blah blah.
Ok so that would work for the first time...maybe a couple times. But how did he forget for that long? When I'm unable to talk to Tuxie...I might leave a message or two. Sometimes if we had a disagreement he might have a few. But never that much. Oh well...I guess time will tell with him whether he keeps to his word

[**Sapphire**]

That's actually what I was thinking to Tuxette, why would he continue to call knowing she couldn't pick up or rather that she wasn't picking up.

I hope that he won't do it again as well!

[aussiecoffee007]

well he said that he forgot that i said i wouldnt be able to pick up my phone, but i think you would remember/even learn for the first time after 40 times?!?!?!

[Penguin_Woman]

One would think. Tread lightly with this guy, Aussie

[**Sapphire**]

well he said that he forgot that i said i wouldnt be able to pick up my phone, but i think you would remember/even learn for the first time after 40 times?!?!?!


That's what I'm saying Aussie hun. I agree w/Tuxette, be a little careful w/him if he continues hun.

[~Teej~]

Yeah be very careful hun..there is something wrong here somewhere..No one should behave in this manner and it could stem into worse things furthur down the line..This may just be a warning sign for the kind of person that he is.