Would you be happy for them?

[Penguin_Woman]

You know...I was thinking today. I was remembering one of the times Tuxie and I parted ways. I told him...and myself I wanted him to find happiness. To find someone special to make him happy. But, really in my heart, I wanted to be the one to make him...happy. We're back together now and I'm very glad that I have that chance and never want to lose it or him again. But, it got me wondering. Say you and your S.O. break it off, then later you find out they have someone else. Are you happy for them? Jealous? Sad? Angry? All of these?

[eaglebaseball]

I wouldn't know, never really had a true S.O. before.

[aussiecoffee007]

ehh to be quite honest, id love to say that whole thing and mean it, but... its just not true for me. i mean, its not like i want them to suffer in life, but usually im so upset over our breakup i dont want them to move on because i havent yet, if that makes any sense...

[Penguin_Woman]

Makes perfect sense to me, Aussie. :)

[aussiecoffee007]

hehe thanks for making me feel like im not totally crazy, tuxette :)

[mashmac]

For me once it's over, it's over so wouldn't care one way or the other, clearly if I've moved one I wouldn't be "happy for them", no way, more like hurt..

[aussiecoffee007]

aw teach me your ways mashmac... i really wish i could get over things like that :(

[mashmac]

just time. and the fact there is no other way except to move on. to remain miserable is not an option.

[Riggs]

You know...I was thinking today. I was remembering one of the times Tuxie and I parted ways. I told him...and myself I wanted him to find happiness. To find someone special to make him happy. But, really in my heart, I wanted to be the one to make him...happy. We're back together now and I'm very glad that I have that chance and never want to lose it or him again. But, it got me wondering. Say you and your S.O. break it off, then later you find out they have someone else. Are you happy for them? Jealous? Sad? Angry? All of these?

I would want her to be happy. If I wanted her, yes, I would be a little sad, but whatever makes my lady happy will make me happy. :)

[tweety]

i just try not to look back. Once its over, its over. I try not to see whats happening there and it helps. Move on and never look back.

[pika]

A new relationship marks the ending of another relationship.......:p

[aussiecoffee007]

hi and welcome back pika... well, i suppose it does if you know someone else, i guess it more marks the possiblity of the beginning of a new relationship, its not like you go boyfriend-hopping or at least i hope so :)

[pika]

Hi Aussie, thanks

Yes you are right but i feel that only by shifting your attention away, you can forget about it. And it is not easy to move your attention away from these emotional matters except by putting your attention on another person..

Well, not necessary that this person has to be your targets, it can be someone that inspires you to do another thing....:p

p.s..hopefully, nothing wrong with this reply, double check for all mistakes.......:)

[aussiecoffee007]

i saw a little one... i think it should be "its not necessay" :) and target would be singular.

anyway, i think that if you just go from person to person you dont really go through the healing process, and plus when do you know if its a rebound or just a refocusing of attention?

[GeeksAreHotter]

When my ex and I broke up I was really dirty at her. She cheated on me, dumped my via TEXT MESSAGE on Valentines Day and then about three weeks later was engaged. I was SO mad if I'd had of seen her there is no telling what I would have done. It took me a LONG time to get over that anger. It felt it was so unfair that I was the one who had been treated like yesterdays crap and she was the one who was of happy with someone new.

I did get over it, though. You just need to give it time. I can understand you want them to be happy but are also mad. It just needs time.

[pika]

i saw a little one... i think it should be "its not necessay" :) and target would be singular.

anyway, i think that if you just go from person to person you dont really go through the healing process, and plus when do you know if its a rebound or just a refocusing of attention?

haha, thanks. I would say, just keep yourself occupied with new goals in life.

[aussiecoffee007]

she was engaged, geeks? how old was she?
btw love the avatar too :)

[GeeksAreHotter]

she was engaged, geeks? how old was she?
btw love the avatar too :)

She was 18. Gadget ROCKS!

[aussiecoffee007]

wow thats rather young to be engaged IMHO. i know gadget is totally awesome :)

[GeeksAreHotter]

Well, it's her problem now. Sorry if that's harsh.

[aussiecoffee007]

haha no its not harsh to me, it seems like she hurt you a lot and im just saying that seems so young...

[**Sapphire**]

The few S.O.'s that I found out moved on, I can honestly say that I wasn't really any much of anything about them. I really felt more for the new girl! :D She had/has no idea what she was getting herself into! :eek:

[~Teej~]

I was engaged when I was to young as well Geeks.
I was only 16/17 and he was my first boyfriend.
Thankfully I had the sense to walk away from it.

I try not to dwell on past relationships either. Usually they finish for a good reason..So I just try to move on as there is no sense dwelling on the past..It's hard if you still care for them but you get over it in the end.

[aussiecoffee007]

if you dont mind telling us... why did you end the engagement meerkat? was the age a factor or other things?

[~Teej~]

I realised I was too young and he was my first boyfriend..I wasn't ready to settle down.
I didn't actually want to finish with him completly.
We were living in a flat with hardly any money as we couldn't afford it, sometimes going without electric.
I said I wanted to go home for a while so we could sort something out and move out when we are more settled.
He said he wouldn't do that and If I moved out then it was over.
I couldn't go on living like it so I moved back home and we broke up.
I'm not bitter about it though, If I had stayed and got married it would have been a huge mistake.

[Riggs]

I was engaged when I was to young as well Geeks.
I was only 16/17 and he was my first boyfriend.
Thankfully I had the sense to walk away from it.

I try not to dwell on past relationships either. Usually they finish for a good reason..So I just try to move on as there is no sense dwelling on the past..It's hard if you still care for them but you get over it in the end.

:eek: That's young. Funny, at that age, the girls wanted me, but all I cared about was driving a car.

[aussiecoffee007]

ah meerkat, well im glad you made the right decision, thanks for sharing with me :)

[Riggs]

I realised I was too young and he was my first boyfriend..I wasn't ready to settle down.
I didn't actually want to finish with him completly.
We were living in a flat with hardly any money as we couldn't afford it, sometimes going without electric.
I said I wanted to go home for a while so we could sort something out and move out when we are more settled.
He said he wouldn't do that and If I moved out then it was over.
I couldn't go on living like it so I moved back home and we broke up.
I'm not bitter about it though, If I had stayed and got married it would have been a huge mistake.

Yes, It would have. You were very start and used your head and not your heart on that one. Very smart of you at such a young age too. Good for you. I know I don't know you from Adam, but I'm so proud of you, hun. :)