Skyblue9548
05-01-2011, 05:20 PM
What should I do? I live with two identities.?
I am a loser boy living with two identities. One in real life, without friends, I cry every night, and such.
I have a wish to be a girl, but that's not something I can change in the near future. The thing is, on the internet I play that I am a girl, and I somehow got in contact with another boy and we started to talk very much, then it developed to every day talks. He was a soldier in a war when we first met and he was almost killed many times, though he said he survived because he thought of me, our talks that he needed every day. We got together and I couldn't turn him down... I fell in love with him. I know it's a very, very, very bad and hurtful thing to do, and he thought I was a girl. He still does. He is earning money to go here... But of course he won't be able to, because I am not who he thinks I am... I must tell him now, I love him, I guess I am gay, but it's just so hard... He also told me many times he can't live without me, and that he would die if we ever broke up. I don't wanna be a murderer. It's unbelievable to think someone could take their life for something like that, but he doesn't have much in life... He lives alone, not a good job and almost no family to support him.
We didn't miss a day of talking in... Many months, but I just can't keep this up anymore.
I must tell him, now... How can I? What should I do? It's the biggest mistake of my life and I never meant to hurt anyone... He always talks to me about what a great life we will have together, with kids, and all the things we will do... I just smile and play along...
HELP ME TO END THIS, IT'S EATING ME ALIVE...
I am a loser boy living with two identities. One in real life, without friends, I cry every night, and such.
I have a wish to be a girl, but that's not something I can change in the near future. The thing is, on the internet I play that I am a girl, and I somehow got in contact with another boy and we started to talk very much, then it developed to every day talks. He was a soldier in a war when we first met and he was almost killed many times, though he said he survived because he thought of me, our talks that he needed every day. We got together and I couldn't turn him down... I fell in love with him. I know it's a very, very, very bad and hurtful thing to do, and he thought I was a girl. He still does. He is earning money to go here... But of course he won't be able to, because I am not who he thinks I am... I must tell him now, I love him, I guess I am gay, but it's just so hard... He also told me many times he can't live without me, and that he would die if we ever broke up. I don't wanna be a murderer. It's unbelievable to think someone could take their life for something like that, but he doesn't have much in life... He lives alone, not a good job and almost no family to support him.
We didn't miss a day of talking in... Many months, but I just can't keep this up anymore.
I must tell him, now... How can I? What should I do? It's the biggest mistake of my life and I never meant to hurt anyone... He always talks to me about what a great life we will have together, with kids, and all the things we will do... I just smile and play along...
HELP ME TO END THIS, IT'S EATING ME ALIVE...