im in love with my gay best friend (im female)

[foreveryours]

hi i hope someone can help me here without being critisened or judeged just would like someones point off view on this and what they would do if they were in the same situaction

in june last year i was out in gay sence as i have alot off gay and bi sexual friends i met this beatiful gay guy we quickly became friends nad he started coming down visiting me and my kids we hit it off straight from the start and we would spend so much time toghter and going out toghter he would dress up in make up etc and it would never bother me how he dressed infact it made me fall in love with him even more we had a bust up in december and started speaking again just after new year

we went out for my birthday had a great night and was so drunk eneded up staying over at his and we ended up makeing love to each other i felt so bad a t the time and didnt speak to him for a few days after we spoke and sorted things out but it happened again a few weeks ago i have over the last few months fell in love with him i know hes gay but i cant stop having theese feelings for him he tells me he loves me all the time to and that he never wants to lose me

deep down i know that we will never be toghter as in a relasionship but i keep wishing and praying that he would hes done so much for me and my 2 children and we are all very very close

he is on my mind all the time and hes away on hoilday just now and missing him so much

am i wrong to be feeling like this about him

[stoner]

First of all, hello and welcome to the ATLF.

It's quite alright to have developed feelings for such a man. It's one of the many aspects that makes us humans unique from others species of the animal kingdom.

Not all the awesome stuff in life come in great packages - unfortunately - and yours is a prime example of that. If you fell for him because of the way he sports his clothes, then he knows how to present himself well. If he's been very nice - and has done many things that yielded positive outcomes - to you and your children, then it's his trait as a responsible individual that you admired about him. These are the traits many women would love to have in the man of their dreams, and I can see why you developed such feelings for him.

Your dilemma is more of a question about sexuality, and not his positive traits which every woman would dream to have in a man.

Given that he's gay. *IF* you are being cool about the following:

- being in a healthy heterosexual relationship with you indefinitely
- may never tie the knot, because of his sexual orientation
- are aware that he's prone to penetrating (and being penetrated) by another man

then there is no reason for the relationship to cease to exist.

If the above-mentioned does bother you, then it's better to sever ties with this individual. Go and find a straight guy - who will hopefully - have the same character/personality traits as this gay guy you mentioned.

Good luck.

[foreveryours]

thank you for your advice yes the delmia may well be his sexuality but even if this guy was straight id have the same feelings for him i love him so much

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF! :)

I'm having a hard time coming to grips with this man being gay, but yet having sex with you a couple times.

Have you talked about the times you have been intimate with each other? If this guy is truly gay, he wouldn't/shouldn't be attracted to you. Is he bi-sexual by chance?

[foreveryours]

yes we have spoke about it and i know this sounds mad but i dont want him to change who he is but deep down i dont think hes is gay i do think hesbi but wont admit it he hasnt been attraced to any other woman before he has told me and he has toold me im the first woman hes has ever had sex with

its not the sex anyway thats made me fall in love with him i fell in love with him before it happened he tels me he loves me all the time two to 3 times a day when he calls visits on msn etc

[**Sapphire**]

OK....have you talked about him saying that he loves you? That if it's a real, deep down, IN LOVE or that he loves you as a good friend?

[verdaga]

Hmmm, quite interesting situation you got there. Hey there's nothing wrong between you and him as long as you're happy with each other. And what are you saying that gay and a woman can't be together? Gay people are still a guy as long as they still have their "it". And are you sure he said that he loves you? What does he meant by that?