Penguin_Woman
06-22-2007, 11:11 AM
(This is an exerpt from "Dear Margo" located on Yahoo News)
DEAR MARGO: My friends and I are beginning to approach that age where our friends are engaged and getting married, and we are happy for their happiness. However, one has us a little worried. She's the youngest of us (20), and she claims to have fallen in love. Normally this would be a wonderful thing to hear, but the man she's in love with has yet to call her on the phone. (We worry this is a red flag warning about a controlling and perhaps even abusive man. He won't give her his number and chooses when to talk to her online, many times breaking the "date" and having her wait for hours.)
They met online, and he asked her to date him after one night of instant messages, and to marry him after three. It's been around five weeks now, and she still hasn't heard his voice and is already planning her life around him . . . delaying her schooling and plans for moving. They're going to be married in a few months, but she won't actually meet him until a week or so before the wedding.
When we have suggested she rethink all this, she says she's 20 and knows what's what and isn't stupid. Of concern to us is that she plans to transfer all of her money into his bank account because he'd asked her to marry him. We think we've talked her out of that. She is so in love with the notion of being taken care of (which he's already told her he wants to do, and he calls her "Princess").
We fear we may just have to be a first response team to the disaster.
--- EMERGENCY HELP NEEDED
DEAR EM: Your friend is nuts, and she is stupid. Odds are pretty good that the online "fiance" is a scam artist . . . most likely married. Any girl who has not spoken to "the fiance" is a quart low, and it is very sad. You are correct that all you can do in this situation is to be first responders. (At least you've saved her bank account.)
--- MARGO, INCREDULOUSLY
I agree with Dear Margo. I think that girl is cracked. What do you guys think? What would you say if she was your friend?
DEAR MARGO: My friends and I are beginning to approach that age where our friends are engaged and getting married, and we are happy for their happiness. However, one has us a little worried. She's the youngest of us (20), and she claims to have fallen in love. Normally this would be a wonderful thing to hear, but the man she's in love with has yet to call her on the phone. (We worry this is a red flag warning about a controlling and perhaps even abusive man. He won't give her his number and chooses when to talk to her online, many times breaking the "date" and having her wait for hours.)
They met online, and he asked her to date him after one night of instant messages, and to marry him after three. It's been around five weeks now, and she still hasn't heard his voice and is already planning her life around him . . . delaying her schooling and plans for moving. They're going to be married in a few months, but she won't actually meet him until a week or so before the wedding.
When we have suggested she rethink all this, she says she's 20 and knows what's what and isn't stupid. Of concern to us is that she plans to transfer all of her money into his bank account because he'd asked her to marry him. We think we've talked her out of that. She is so in love with the notion of being taken care of (which he's already told her he wants to do, and he calls her "Princess").
We fear we may just have to be a first response team to the disaster.
--- EMERGENCY HELP NEEDED
DEAR EM: Your friend is nuts, and she is stupid. Odds are pretty good that the online "fiance" is a scam artist . . . most likely married. Any girl who has not spoken to "the fiance" is a quart low, and it is very sad. You are correct that all you can do in this situation is to be first responders. (At least you've saved her bank account.)
--- MARGO, INCREDULOUSLY
I agree with Dear Margo. I think that girl is cracked. What do you guys think? What would you say if she was your friend?