whiteflag
02-19-2011, 04:47 PM
I'm a guy and I have a female friend who I'm very close to (we're both 30+) and I've known her for the past 4 years, she is divorced with a 10-yr old son and has been through a bad marriage and recent relationship. Because of distances, we meet about once or twice a year but are constantly in touch on messenger chat and we get physically and emotionally close when we meet (but nothing sexual, its as close to platonic as can be). We speak of various things in our lives and we catch up etc etc... and when we've chatted on messenger (but not in person) we joke about sex and us in the future though I take it as a way of her flirting. She once joked that in the next life we'll take a shower together ;)
When I'd gone to meet her recently, we were cuddling in the guest room of her house and it was purely platonic (just my hand around her in bed and us chatting) and my hand fell against her breast, she made a comment that did I know that was her boob, I said yes and left my hand on it. I didnt play around nor did I try to fondle her. My hand was motionless and I was just so comfortable. We were like this for about 20 mins and then she got up and left to go to her own room. (She later told me that she was uncomfortable with me doing this, but I had already apologised for the incident).
She's always known that I have some sort of feelings for her, but I said it to her for the first time. (This was the day after the boob incident). I spoke about her and I in a relationship together in the future (as neither of us are ready now) and she didnt take it well as she said she didnt want a relationship and she didnt want anyone screwing around with her emotions, and that I probably didnt know what I was talking about or suggesting.
The very next day (end of my trip) she dropped me off to her ex-bf's house (who is my good friend) and when I said goodbye to her, knowing that we may not meet for many months, her bye to me was not exactly cold but it definately wasnt warm. She says that her indifference towards me was because she had felt very awkward dropping me to her ex-bf's house.
More recently, she told me that she will one day like to try casual unemotional sex (with someone she knows as opposed to someone random) as she attaches too much importance to sex and wants to overcome that... BUT she also said that she and I wont have anything physical happening. And she tells me that she is happy and secure and comfortable in her life now but she doesnt mind if she finds someone for companionship. And when I again brought up the subject of us two in a relationship, she said that we're just friends.
Very lately, she's ignored some questions on our chats such as how come she's eating chicken again (previously was a veggie.... and I genuinely wanted to know why she's turned non-veg), and everyday trivial mundane questions like wassup what u doing etc. - she says she must have been pre-occupied therefore she didnt reply.
So:
Am I right in thinking that there is some uncomfortableness (discomfort?) in our friendship coming from her side, but she doesnt want to hurt me by acknowledging it to me?
When I'd gone to meet her recently, we were cuddling in the guest room of her house and it was purely platonic (just my hand around her in bed and us chatting) and my hand fell against her breast, she made a comment that did I know that was her boob, I said yes and left my hand on it. I didnt play around nor did I try to fondle her. My hand was motionless and I was just so comfortable. We were like this for about 20 mins and then she got up and left to go to her own room. (She later told me that she was uncomfortable with me doing this, but I had already apologised for the incident).
She's always known that I have some sort of feelings for her, but I said it to her for the first time. (This was the day after the boob incident). I spoke about her and I in a relationship together in the future (as neither of us are ready now) and she didnt take it well as she said she didnt want a relationship and she didnt want anyone screwing around with her emotions, and that I probably didnt know what I was talking about or suggesting.
The very next day (end of my trip) she dropped me off to her ex-bf's house (who is my good friend) and when I said goodbye to her, knowing that we may not meet for many months, her bye to me was not exactly cold but it definately wasnt warm. She says that her indifference towards me was because she had felt very awkward dropping me to her ex-bf's house.
More recently, she told me that she will one day like to try casual unemotional sex (with someone she knows as opposed to someone random) as she attaches too much importance to sex and wants to overcome that... BUT she also said that she and I wont have anything physical happening. And she tells me that she is happy and secure and comfortable in her life now but she doesnt mind if she finds someone for companionship. And when I again brought up the subject of us two in a relationship, she said that we're just friends.
Very lately, she's ignored some questions on our chats such as how come she's eating chicken again (previously was a veggie.... and I genuinely wanted to know why she's turned non-veg), and everyday trivial mundane questions like wassup what u doing etc. - she says she must have been pre-occupied therefore she didnt reply.
So:
Am I right in thinking that there is some uncomfortableness (discomfort?) in our friendship coming from her side, but she doesnt want to hurt me by acknowledging it to me?