AnnieAndre
06-20-2007, 02:33 AM
Before I begin, I want to thank those people who decided to read this post, as well as thank those in advance who decide to offer advice.
I feel the best way to do so is to post part of his e-mails to me: (they are posted in blue)
I have just told you what my one issue is...I have just told you that if I could put that one issue behind me, I could forgive and forget everything else and I will work on all of our other issues together with you so we can have a perfect life.
When I told you to look at my one issue from a third-person point of view, you said you did and you admitted you understood how it looks and why I - or anyone else - would think there is a good possibility you have been unfaithful to me.
And you told me that you have not been unfaithful to me. And honey, I want to believe you so badly. But you have looked me in the eyes on many different occasions and lied to me - sometimes with lies on top of lies. So baby, you understand why I cannot just believe you now.
But honey, you are telling me that you have not been unfaithful. There is a way to put this behind us once and for all. There is a way to take away the doubt you created and restore my faith and trust in you. I recommended it the other night when I found out about the latest lies - take a polygraph test. I know you associate a polygraph test with trashy television shows and criminals, but honey - all it would involve would be you and I going to an office building, meeting with a certified examiner, and answering two questions: "since you and I started dating on March 28th, have you ever had sexual intercourse with anyone", and "since you and I started dating on March 28th, have you ever had any sexual activity of any kind with anyone". No one else would be there, no one else would know (unless you told them).
If you answer those questions and I find out you never crossed that line, my faith in you is restored. I will forgive and forget everything else, but most importantly - I trust you again. I TRUST YOU AGAIN. You will have fixed the situation you created. And we can work on any other issues we have together. And we can get engaged. And we can move away. And we can get married. And we can do anything we want together - have a family, travel the world - it does not matter, because it will be you and me and we will have a wonderful life.
You are telling me that you have not been unfaithful.; so if you are telling the truth, what is there to worry about? Honey, I realize you think this should not have to be part of a relationship - but me having to endure multiple, layered lies and not having any trust in you as a result should not be part of a relationship either. I did not create this situation, I am merely telling you how we can get out of it. You told me several times that if there was a way to make me believe in you, you would do it. Baby - this is the way. It is quick, painless, discreet, and will solve all of our problems. The only reason you would say no is if what you are telling me is not the truth. Otherwise, we can solve our problem in less than an hour - once and for all - and move on with our lives...and start working on forever. I want to be with you forever. I want to trust you again. You know it is the right thing to do if what you are telling me is true.
Be with me forever baby.
I love you always.
Now that you have read his letter - word for word - here is what I need advice on...
The lies that he is speaking of deal with a situation that happened during the first two weeks of our relationship. He and I had agreed to be "exclusive" and had expressed our love for each other. At that point, outside of our relationship, I was dealing with a lot of pain from dealings that were going on in my family (finding out my mother had been cheating on my father for the past 16 years of a 30 year marriage). I was very angry inside then and was going back and forth if I was ready for a relationship. This, I did not communicate to him in fear that I would not be understood, as well as being embarrassed.
On the night in question, I had told him that I was going to out to eat with my father to spend some time with him and to work on a proposal (my father owns a company). I told my Dad about how I was feeling and said I was very overwhelmed, there was so much going on in my life that I didn't want to get caught up in a relationship and mess other things up etc. During dinner, my dad assured me that how I was feeling was ok and that it was ok to be in a relationship etc (he basically helped me through some of my anger and fear). My dad and I left the restaurant and came back to his apartment. It had been three hours since I had talked to my boyfriend.
I feel the best way to do so is to post part of his e-mails to me: (they are posted in blue)
I have just told you what my one issue is...I have just told you that if I could put that one issue behind me, I could forgive and forget everything else and I will work on all of our other issues together with you so we can have a perfect life.
When I told you to look at my one issue from a third-person point of view, you said you did and you admitted you understood how it looks and why I - or anyone else - would think there is a good possibility you have been unfaithful to me.
And you told me that you have not been unfaithful to me. And honey, I want to believe you so badly. But you have looked me in the eyes on many different occasions and lied to me - sometimes with lies on top of lies. So baby, you understand why I cannot just believe you now.
But honey, you are telling me that you have not been unfaithful. There is a way to put this behind us once and for all. There is a way to take away the doubt you created and restore my faith and trust in you. I recommended it the other night when I found out about the latest lies - take a polygraph test. I know you associate a polygraph test with trashy television shows and criminals, but honey - all it would involve would be you and I going to an office building, meeting with a certified examiner, and answering two questions: "since you and I started dating on March 28th, have you ever had sexual intercourse with anyone", and "since you and I started dating on March 28th, have you ever had any sexual activity of any kind with anyone". No one else would be there, no one else would know (unless you told them).
If you answer those questions and I find out you never crossed that line, my faith in you is restored. I will forgive and forget everything else, but most importantly - I trust you again. I TRUST YOU AGAIN. You will have fixed the situation you created. And we can work on any other issues we have together. And we can get engaged. And we can move away. And we can get married. And we can do anything we want together - have a family, travel the world - it does not matter, because it will be you and me and we will have a wonderful life.
You are telling me that you have not been unfaithful.; so if you are telling the truth, what is there to worry about? Honey, I realize you think this should not have to be part of a relationship - but me having to endure multiple, layered lies and not having any trust in you as a result should not be part of a relationship either. I did not create this situation, I am merely telling you how we can get out of it. You told me several times that if there was a way to make me believe in you, you would do it. Baby - this is the way. It is quick, painless, discreet, and will solve all of our problems. The only reason you would say no is if what you are telling me is not the truth. Otherwise, we can solve our problem in less than an hour - once and for all - and move on with our lives...and start working on forever. I want to be with you forever. I want to trust you again. You know it is the right thing to do if what you are telling me is true.
Be with me forever baby.
I love you always.
Now that you have read his letter - word for word - here is what I need advice on...
The lies that he is speaking of deal with a situation that happened during the first two weeks of our relationship. He and I had agreed to be "exclusive" and had expressed our love for each other. At that point, outside of our relationship, I was dealing with a lot of pain from dealings that were going on in my family (finding out my mother had been cheating on my father for the past 16 years of a 30 year marriage). I was very angry inside then and was going back and forth if I was ready for a relationship. This, I did not communicate to him in fear that I would not be understood, as well as being embarrassed.
On the night in question, I had told him that I was going to out to eat with my father to spend some time with him and to work on a proposal (my father owns a company). I told my Dad about how I was feeling and said I was very overwhelmed, there was so much going on in my life that I didn't want to get caught up in a relationship and mess other things up etc. During dinner, my dad assured me that how I was feeling was ok and that it was ok to be in a relationship etc (he basically helped me through some of my anger and fear). My dad and I left the restaurant and came back to his apartment. It had been three hours since I had talked to my boyfriend.