NotSure
06-13-2010, 03:48 AM
So... I finally met someone online that seems pretty amazing. So far she has seemed pretty much perfect for me. There's just one thing that has been kind of bothering me.
she says she likes me and all that and we tell each other anything and everything, basically, we are 100% comfortable with each other... That is so long as it is texting or chatting. She says she would not want to officially be more than friends until we've met. Problem is, she doesn't want to meet any time soon. In fact she said she wouldn't be comfortable meeting for like, a whole year...
I would not have a problem with this if I knew for certain she was the one, but I don't know for certain because, well, and this kind of ties back into itself, but because she seems so indifferent to the idea of taking this further. I feel like she lacks the same passion for love that I do because of this.
I know what you're going to say "well she is being perfectly reasonable considering you are someone she met online". Yes but we have gotten so close, sharing everything like our opinions on life and how to live it to personal experiences you would never share with anyone else. So what I can't understand is that if we agree on so much, are so close, both admit we like each other, and have so much in common, why does she not share the same enthusiasm about meeting and actually giving the relationship a chance.
I feel less like she is just being careful so much as I feel like she doesn't care that much, and in a way that isnt going to change with time and getting to know each other more since there isn't really a whole lot left to know. So basically, we're perfect for each other, we both know it, but only one of us really wants to make it happen, and it makes me afraid that might always be the case with her and she simply isn't as passionate when it comes to love as I am.
There is also one more matter still relating to her passion, or lack there of, that I think may be the cause of it. It might sound strange that I'm complaining, but it just feels like her life has been too simple and easy. Not necessarily good, she is more of a quiet type like me without many friends and social anxiety, but otherwise, there is no real, er, drama, in her life, no conflict, nothing happening, no struggles, nothing to be resolved. Just some slight shyness and loneliness. My life has been, well, pretty much pure hell, which is probably why I am so passionate about love. To me it is the only thing left living for, it's everything to me and what has kept me going. I want the person I love to be able to feel that same way. I want to be as special and important to her as she is to me, the kind of love where we would both die for the other, or more importantly, live for the other.
I'm begging to feel like no matter what, she will never quite be able to look at it this way. I want to have been the one to have saved her life when she was just on the verge of giving up just as I was/am on the verge as well. Around just one to two months ago... I tried to commit suicide. I only survived because half way through the process I realized how many others out there were feeling the same way and how all either of us needed, was someone else there for you who loves you. I want to live to help others now, but I also want one of those people to love me back the same way. I don't feel like there is much this girl needs, really needs, she is not on the edge like I am/was and I do not feel like she will ever quite understand the passion I show or show the same passion back towards me.
I'm not sure of how much sense I'm making but... Yeah.
she says she likes me and all that and we tell each other anything and everything, basically, we are 100% comfortable with each other... That is so long as it is texting or chatting. She says she would not want to officially be more than friends until we've met. Problem is, she doesn't want to meet any time soon. In fact she said she wouldn't be comfortable meeting for like, a whole year...
I would not have a problem with this if I knew for certain she was the one, but I don't know for certain because, well, and this kind of ties back into itself, but because she seems so indifferent to the idea of taking this further. I feel like she lacks the same passion for love that I do because of this.
I know what you're going to say "well she is being perfectly reasonable considering you are someone she met online". Yes but we have gotten so close, sharing everything like our opinions on life and how to live it to personal experiences you would never share with anyone else. So what I can't understand is that if we agree on so much, are so close, both admit we like each other, and have so much in common, why does she not share the same enthusiasm about meeting and actually giving the relationship a chance.
I feel less like she is just being careful so much as I feel like she doesn't care that much, and in a way that isnt going to change with time and getting to know each other more since there isn't really a whole lot left to know. So basically, we're perfect for each other, we both know it, but only one of us really wants to make it happen, and it makes me afraid that might always be the case with her and she simply isn't as passionate when it comes to love as I am.
There is also one more matter still relating to her passion, or lack there of, that I think may be the cause of it. It might sound strange that I'm complaining, but it just feels like her life has been too simple and easy. Not necessarily good, she is more of a quiet type like me without many friends and social anxiety, but otherwise, there is no real, er, drama, in her life, no conflict, nothing happening, no struggles, nothing to be resolved. Just some slight shyness and loneliness. My life has been, well, pretty much pure hell, which is probably why I am so passionate about love. To me it is the only thing left living for, it's everything to me and what has kept me going. I want the person I love to be able to feel that same way. I want to be as special and important to her as she is to me, the kind of love where we would both die for the other, or more importantly, live for the other.
I'm begging to feel like no matter what, she will never quite be able to look at it this way. I want to have been the one to have saved her life when she was just on the verge of giving up just as I was/am on the verge as well. Around just one to two months ago... I tried to commit suicide. I only survived because half way through the process I realized how many others out there were feeling the same way and how all either of us needed, was someone else there for you who loves you. I want to live to help others now, but I also want one of those people to love me back the same way. I don't feel like there is much this girl needs, really needs, she is not on the edge like I am/was and I do not feel like she will ever quite understand the passion I show or show the same passion back towards me.
I'm not sure of how much sense I'm making but... Yeah.