I don't want a break up....male point of view please

[heartbrokeninparis]

It was a long distance relationship. I met him at the airport and we were together for about an hour or two. We found ourselves communicating with each other everyday without miss after that. He became my boyfriend. He was so honest, sincere and he was not taking me for a ride. He told me he was going to visit me for 2 weeks only because he was still new at the company he works for in Paris. But I suggested that I go to PAris instead coz I could have 1 month leave. Things were stressful shortly before I left for Paris, work, family and visa denial. I could not handle it and I was breaking his balls everytime. He warned me about it and I told him things will be different once I will be there with him. Too bad, on the day I was to leave for Paris, my parents did not want me to go coz they found out I was going there for my boyfriend and they took it really bad coz I still left. When I was there, I am a corporte lawyer by the way, legal problems at the office started happening and I was hounded by these emails everyday instead of having a peaceful time with him and after 10 days with him he said that I did not go back to my old self. For me it was just an adjustment period but he took it seriously against me as he already had a basis which was my behavior a week or two before I flew to be with him. I spent the next 35 days with him too conscious about myself and I prevented myself from expressing how I love him like I used to and yes, I was never myself anymore because of the consciousness that he might think I am doing things just to please him. I disappointed him. I am back home now and he tells me he needs time to think about his life and prefers to do it alone. He is honest about that and is not just making it an excuse. I want us to be still together, how can I tell him that. I don't want to lose him. yes, i may sound selfish, i know, but my heart is just breaking. I promise this time I will be me. Note that this is going to be a long distance relationship... Philippines & France

[MVP]

Wow, I'm sorry things hasn't worked out lately. But I don't see where anything is really YOUR fault, I mean you went to another country to spend time with him even though your parents didn't want you to, and you had some troubles at work? A guy that loves his girlfriend, needs to be understanding and put his girlfriend before himself. If he wants space by himself, then although it hurts- you need to give that to him. Just say something like "if this is the last time I talk to you, I want you to know that I love you, and it will break my heart if you leave me, but no matter what you're what's important." Long-distance should never bother anything, I've been there, it doesn't matter if you're a walk away, a drive away, or a flight away, being together is always precious. :)

Hope this helps.

[heartbrokeninparis]

It is not about the relationship being long distance but it's more on he gave up on me. Two weeks before I flew to PAris I was so stressed out (i was denied my visa that time) and I lost hope and I snapped at him most of the time. I told him it will be different when we are together but then when I was there I was still snappy, it's coz of the fight I had with my family before I left and problems at the office, you are on your holiday but people at work call you to solve problems at work. I did not tell him about my office still hounding me in Paris but he knew about my family disapproving my holiday but he doesn't know the gravity of the same. Disrespect towards parents (which was what I did) is not treated lightly in the Philippines. You could just imagine the stress I was in during that time when me and my boyfriend were supposed to get to know each other more but the thing is it was the negative side that was highlighted. And he did not give me a chance to prove otherwise.


Wow, I'm sorry things hasn't worked out lately. But I don't see where anything is really YOUR fault, I mean you went to another country to spend time with him even though your parents didn't want you to, and you had some troubles at work? A guy that loves his girlfriend, needs to be understanding and put his girlfriend before himself. If he wants space by himself, then although it hurts- you need to give that to him. Just say something like "if this is the last time I talk to you, I want you to know that I love you, and it will break my heart if you leave me, but no matter what you're what's important." Long-distance should never bother anything, I've been there, it doesn't matter if you're a walk away, a drive away, or a flight away, being together is always precious. :)

Hope this helps.