Are they really my true friends?

[Anonymous89]

I have always been an introvert, and from time to time, I need my "me" time.
I told my good friends of 6 years that I'll be on a hiatus for a few months, and they immediately get upset with me and they even stopped considering me as their good friend.
They said they were upset with me because I did not inform them in advance that I'm going on a hiatus.
They said they were upset with me because during my hiatus period they would have nobody to talk to anymore.
But I can't help but to think that this is a one-sided friendship all along, I'm their good friend because I listen to their problems? But now that I'm feeling stressed and I need to go on a hiatus, they end up upset with me.
I've already apologised to them, and they are still ignoring me.
What the hell?!

Are they really my good friends?!
Should I continue to keep these people as my friends?
They don't seem to understand me at all and even get upset with me.
Shouldn't true friends accept each other?
Are they really my true friends?

[**Sapphire**]

To ME, being a true blue friend means you take the good & bad within the friendship. So having said that, if they were you true friends they may not understand why you need your "me time", but they wouldn't be angry or not want to talk to you.

In fact they would want to see if they could be there for you during your down time.

So no, IMO...I don't think they are true friends.

[Anonymous89]

Oh. Thanks for your insights. Your insights are really helpful. =)

I feel so misunderstood by my friends.
I'm going on a hiatus to recover from a heartbreak that I've been going through for the past one year, yet, I can't tell them what I'm going through, I don't trust them with my innermost feelings, so I decide to go on a hiatus from everyone and give myself time to heal over the heartbreak, but now, not only are my friends upset at me, they even dumped me away. I've apologised many times even though I'm the one who is misunderstood by them. I tried to salvage the friendship yet they didn't care. They just ignore me and everything.
My friends used to show me their blog with all their secrets and everything, but now, they just hide away and lock up their blog from me. I feel so hurt by them.

What did I do wrong? I've always been a loyal friend to them, always listening to their problems, caring for them, hiding my own pain and help them with their own problems, now I just want to go on a hiatus to heal myself from my pain and they just dumped me away like thrash.
What did I do wrong?

[dodo]

My buddy,seems like you're friends are too mature for your level. Thats why the misconception's there.
Don't try too hard. Just try convincing them. If they get it,thats good. If they don't,don't care much. You're somewhat similar to me(and a year younger too).
Things are simple. If they don't wanna understand,you can't force them. Its good that you apologised,it showed your class and manners. But if they still remain arrogant,ignore them. They aren't true pals(can't say for sure if they're females,i can say that for sure for guys). Let them do what they wish. Just live your life.
And a personal suggestion,the best way to recover from a breakup is to roam around with pals. Its better than those movies thing ! So do try have some understanding pals with whom you can roam around with. Best of luck !

[**Sapphire**]

I don't think you did anything wrong, you want this hiatus & they either aren't totally understanding why or don't care why you want to be by yourself for a bit.

Either way they aren't that good of friends & you don't really need them.

Dodo is right though when dealing with a heartbreak you should try to keep yourself busy so the thoughts of the person lost aren't so strong when isolated. Although everyone handles heartache differently, maybe this way will be the best way for you.

If you do feel like talking about your heartbreak, we are all here to listen & hey we are a love advice forum so maybe we could help too.

[Anonymous89]

I just patched up with my friends yesterday, but I'm still having doubts.
Should I trust them again?
I was so upset about this entire misunderstanding that I also locked up my own blog, and I remove all their contacts from my social networks because I wanted to forget them, then they saw it, and they told me that they are no longer angry at me,
and they even unlocked their blog and everything, but still, I really don't know if I should trust them again.
I don't know why I'm feeling this way either, but now, I'm thinking twice about my friendship with them.
I've patched up with them, I've forgiven them for hurting me, but I realised that I'm afraid to trust them again.

Why am I feeling this way?
Should I trust them again?

[Anonymous89]

Now...I can't help but to wonder....Are my friends manipulating me? Why the sudden change in their behavior?
Are they manipulating me? Or am I thinking too much?

[**Sapphire**]

They could have realized their mistake in being so selfish to you wanting some time to yourself.

I would keep them around, just don't get to personal with them, feel them out & see if they are wanting you to be their friend for real or they are playing some kind of game. Eventually the truth will come out & then you can go from there in what you want to do next.

[Anonymous89]

Thank you for the advice and all the replies! =)

Things have been back to normal.
They have started talking to me and confiding in me like the old times, but my trust toward them has already dismininshed.
Every time I saw their phone numbers appearing on my phone, the first emotion I get is disgust. Bitterness.
I wanna distance myself from them.
I really dislike and hate them a lot now.
I'm really sick of having such fair-weather friends, always calling me when they want to dump their problems onto me, but when I want someone to understand me, they treated me like thrash.
I thought that they would understand my need for hiatus, but who knows they ended up getting angry with me instead.
Recalling the day of the conflict, I cried over all these friendships until I had a fever and had insomnia.
Can I forgive them for putting me through this?

Maybe I can forgive them for treating me like this, but I know that deep down, I can never trust them again.
I invest a lot in friendships, I don't expect much, I just want my friends to understand me and be loyal to me, but if I can't get these, then I will just be alone.
It's better to be alone than to be friends with people who doesn't know how to reciprocate friendship, respect, etc.

[**Sapphire**]

You can always make some new friends as well. Get out more, see who you might meet & want to get to know more on a friendship basis.

[LeilaLee]

My point of view is said in one sentence: Under 100 friends are 99 bad.

[typical cat]

i get like that too >.< i get mad when my friend is busy with things and cant hang out i can understand busy with something important but when its nothing really important i tend to point out how wrong they are and prove to them they really do have time and i put them on the spot lol and then a big dinosuar breaks everything o.o like every story should end >=/ but o.o even though i still stay friends with the person to me friendship and love means alot to me its all im about. and if they cant accept you then they'er not a friend but friends are suppose to be ther for you and help you and care for you and be understanding so i see why your friend is mad but again should be understanding to it and maybe you should give them a day of attention cuz good friends stick together no matter what but if they dont want to talk to you anymore then ther hurting them selfs cause thats what they wanted in the first place if you really care about your friendship then you'd try to save it as much as you can and id be mad too if you was my friend and left with out saying nothing about it so its not just your firends your at fault too they have a reason to be mad but you did apologize which is what matters again if you really care about your friendship then you'd do something about it instead of thinkin to cut them off if ther a friend or not maybe they want you to feel they way you did to them as much you want to be understood they want to be understood too you two both have faults in this and should fix it find them in person and talk to them one on one i would put more but i wanna do something else i do hope this gets fixed take care now im gonna go poof o.o : poofs: