how much communication is too much?

[esqubar]

Hey Guys,

I have just started a long distance relationship with a friend who ive known for 2 years, she currently lives out of the county and we have both said we like each other and have feelings for each other and are making the best out of the situation.

If i am dating a girl not long distance i usually dont text her all the time as i will see her more often. With my first GF 3 years ago i used to text her all the time even tho we wasnt in a LD relationship and she mentioned that sometimes it was too much like i was hounding her...

so since then i stopped and it worked out fine...now im not sure about this one as we dont get to see each other (once a month if lucky) so communication is key right?

we skype all the time so that is not the problem, its more when we dont have hose skype sessions i am missing her a lot and often text her and she does the same, but we dont have a regular pattern.

so im wondering shall i just txt her whenever i want to? i dont want her to think that im hounding her or always on her case (like first GF) my friend says that i shouldnt and give her a chance to miss me etc...

and FYI its only like 4 texts a day its not 50!
thanks

thanks

[Pink]

I don't think texting 4 times a day is hounding. Everyone is different, though. Some just don't care for texting or talking on the phone. Has this girlfriend conplained at all? I think that's pretty good for being long distance.

[esqubar]

No she hasnt complain per say at the beginning we would be texting all the time and recently when i text her she will always get back to me like 2/3 hours later - like she is trying to slow it down.

i havent really talked to her about this but maybe i should? i just dont want her thinking "oh its this guy again texting me"

[**Sapphire**]

Welcome to ATLF, glad that you joined us & decided to post. :)

I would talk to her about it. Ask her if you texting her 4 times a day is too much for her. Let her tell you how she feels about it & then you both can go from there.

I myself, I don't think texting 4 times a day is too much.

When I was in an LDR with my guy, we talked all day on the phone & then texted each other. Mostly we were on the phone. I must admit, there were times when I didn't want to hold the phone to my ear. I talked to him about it & we backed it down a bit.

[esqubar]

Thanks guys I will speak to her about it :-)

[dawningstar]

I have friends that are much quicker at replying to me than I am too them, not to say I am busier than they are but, just that I get going on something and forget to check my emails and phone lol....

I then told a few of them I love their pms, emails and chatting but that I only check a couple of times a day, lol then I am not constantly waiting to answer lol....and they don't feel like I am ignoring them hope that helps

[lulg]

Your question really worth answer.. This a common issue in such relationship. Sometime others got very irritated because they were so busy and even they don't read msg.

It would be a better idea to know about her/him work schedule and then text accordingly. 4txt/day is not too much but also not less. I will prefer one in morning and 1 or 2 in night before sleep.

[anapurma]

Well it depends. When I was on my studies in the other city than my parents live in - I had a boyfriend in my home city. Because telecommunications in Poland was very expensive then and there was no Internet - I had to cut down my communications with my boyfriend. We have been talking a few times a week only - and only for about a couple of minutes. And that was cool. I think better than few hours a day with skype... :) because there were always a place for funny understatements or other things... :D

[LeilaLee]

If you are in Love- there would be no limit for talking. That comes later, when you are married. ;) So you become a green card for talking to her.

[AsianBeauties]

I don't think 4 texts is too much. I would say, if you and your loved one are miles apart and you don’t get to see each other so often, it is important to maintain a presence in each other's daily lives as much as possible. Buts yes, if you are unsure, it's better to ask! :)